Search

Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

Tag

Personal

Retail Therapy: The Basics

retail-therapy

Disclaimer: It is safe to say that this post is based on no scientific research whatsoever.  You are encouraged to try out the different therapy methods listed in cases of a bad mood ranging from “mild” to “medium”.  In cases of a really bad mood, your therapy may take a bit longer.

When a woman is in a bad mood, she tends to feel like everything is falling into pieces.  Everything they love look awful, everyone they know don’t pick up the phone, and they feel like they never achieved any of the goals they decided on years ago.  We’ve all been through this.  We all know how it feels.  So what can be done?

1- Breathe.  It’s alright to feel bad, you are not a robot and have all the excuse in the world to have bad days.  Do not feel guilty and do not let anyone tell you that you’re always “in a bad mood.”  Try to come to accept that you feel bad.

2- Remove yourself from the current situation you are in.  If you are feeling bad because of a conversation you are having on the phone, then close the phone.  If you are feeling bad because of a colleague at work, then go somewhere else.

3- Find someone who will listen.  This person is usually the same person you go to every time you are having a bad day.  A friend, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, whoever is there to listen. I am not telling you that you should talk, just give yourself the option to talk so whenever you feel like talking you’re with the right person.

4- Find something fun to do.  This is usually shopping.  Yes, simply shopping.  It starts with a cup of coffee, a walk around the mall to see what’s on sale, and an indulgence of impulse buying.  Try your best not to buy over an assigned budget.  (The person you choose in #3 should help in reeling you in when you’re starting to go overboard)

5- Eat something good.  A good dish filled with many many many calories.  This dish and/or meal must contain the 3 C’s:  carbs, cheese, and caffeine.

6- Shop again.  The physical labor done by walking around actually helps with your negative feelings; you’re basically working out!  Also, you are constantly speaking to your “person” so you’re maintaining good speed in which you are not out of breath.

7- Make sure you are carrying all the shopping bags.  Do not  let anyone help you and do not put the small bags into the bigger bags.  You need to see the number of bags you are carrying.  This will make  you happy.  Have you ever seen a woman with many shopping bags look sad or frustrated?  No.

bags

8- If you are going through a really tough time, go for shoes and makeup.  They don’t require you getting into the fitting room (which may be dangerous in some cases).  Regardless of the amount of weight you may have increased, your shoe size would not differ.  Makeup is symbolic of hiding your sad feelings so the more makeup you buy the more sadness you will hide.

9- When you get home, place all your bags on the floor and leave them there.  Do not open anything.  Live the moment.  Get yourself something good to drink and eat.  This snack may contain sugar but no caffeine.  You are trying to wind down.

10- Get into the shower.  Take a shower or a bath, whatever you choose.  Give yourself time to feel the water wash away the pain.  Sing in the shower, you sound good.

11- Pamper yourself.  Brush your hair, paint your nails (you could get a professional manicure in severe cases).  Focus on yourself.

12- Do something you like.  Watch a movie, a funny TV show, read a book, chat online, catch up on gossip.

13- Sleep earlier than usual.  You need to heal.

In conclusion, happiness is a choice.  Choose to be happy, choose to smile, and choose shopping therapy 101.

Gratitude- Happy New Year

gratitude

Happy New Year!!

With the beginning of the new year, resolutions take an interesting place in our lives.  People who have not considered goals for the past 11 months have typed up or wrote on a piece of paper, using great penmanship, their goals.  I have also typed up different lists in previous years but this year, I thought I would approach the new year differently.

In my mind, I know what I want.  I know what I’m aiming towards, and I know what matters to me.  I know my shortcomings, I know my strengths, and I know the people I’d like to keep in my life and those I would rather not have around.

So it’s the first day of the new year and I haven’t written my resolutions, didn’t update my vision board, and didn’t set deadlines for weight loss and schedules for play dates.  I would rather spend the first day in gratitude.

This may seem to you as a very cheeky post as many people are so keen on starting something new, new challenges and new hope, whereas here I am trying to pull them back, pressing the break, and asking them to breathe.

Yes, breathe.

Breathe in the air.  Feel the air around you, you are alive.  You are alive and conscious.  You are in this world aware of what is going on, that’s something.

Gratitude.

Gratitude for being alive and well.  Gratitude for a good year, gratitude for not having lost anyone this year.  Gratitude for having my parents and seeing them everyday.  Gratitude for two healthy boys, gratitude for a loving husband, gratitude for wonderful siblings.

Gratitude.

Gratitude for not living in a war zone.  Having a safe place to sleep and not having to worry about starving.  Gratitude for running water.  Gratitude for all my accomplishments.  Gratitude for being able to wake up, move my arms and legs.  Gratitude for the ability to take a deep breath and gratitude towards having the ability to think.  Gratitude for all the days I spent, however they were, in this life.

Every day is a blessing.

Thank you, Lord, for a great year.

footprints-in-the-sand

Too Much on YOUR Plate?

multitasking

A couple of weeks ago I met a young ambitious gentleman who was feeling anxious about starting a new job and complaining about how the 6 days a week/8 hours a day job will take him away from his passion in writing.  Take a moment to digest this: the 48 hour week will take him away from his passion.  Um, have you met mothers?

Mothers, God bless their souls, have the ability to juggle a million things a day.  They must be on call all day, everyday, regardless of what they are doing or what they would like to be doing.  They must be available for any kind of emergency ranging from a sudden hunger pang at 4 a.m. to a temper tantrum in the middle of a family gathering.  On call ALL the time.  So when a mother chooses to spend the last few hours of her day in exercising, reading, chatting with her friends, staring into nothingness, and living her life just a little bit then she is compromising actual sleep time for the sake of life.  Please let her do what she wants.

Life, as you know it, is different with mothers.

I read once that a mother is living proof that human beings don’t need actual sleep and can live on coffee.  I cannot be held accountable for the seriousness of this point but it makes sense to me.  It all comes down to choice:  would you rather sleep or would you rather feel like a person?

You see, regardless of common belief, mothers are normal human beings with hopes and dreams.  They realize that they should exercise, have friends, and go out but sometimes they are not in a position to do so.  Sometimes, life has to be put on hold for a couple of years to enable the caring of a baby and thus ensure the continuity of humankind.  Yes, I am trying to sugarcoat the first few months of a baby’s life just to reassure myself that there is light at the end of the tunnel and honestly, I have seen it before.  It takes almost a year for the phoenix to raise from the ashes.

But it’s that first year that tests what a woman is made of.  How agile she is, what are her goals in life, how she thinks children must be raised, and what comes first in her list of priorities.  Many women choose to put themselves first and foremost and I have the greatest respect for them because I believe in the freedom of choice.  Do I support it?  Does it matter?  I’ve heard a blogger I highly respect repeat that women need to stop putting each other down when it comes to motherhood because each and everyone of us is doing her best as she sees fitting to her lifestyle.  I would really like to believe that all women love their children regardless of how naive it makes me sound.  Knowing that the most sincere and pure kind of love is emitted from every mother is a very calming notion and I choose to cherish it with all my heart.  (tangent, I know).

Back to the chaos behind the love and the background mechanisms working to maintain the family life.  Let’s compare a man’s morning and a mother’s morning.

Man

It’s 7 a.m. and the man is fast asleep.  He hears the soft jingle of the alarm from yonder and quietly opens his eyes, his hand reaches for his phone and automatically snoozes the alarm, getting extra minutes of sleep after deciding that he is too tired from the day before.

Mother

It’s 6 a.m., there is no alarm clock because the mother is relying on her biological clock and/or her children to wake her up.  She wakes up on a wailing child ranting about something that just doesn’t make sense.  The mother wishes to put the child on “snooze” but sadly children don’t come with a snooze button.  So the mother burpees her way out of bed to quiet the baby down.  In the meantime, all other children wake up and start talking at the same time.  Noise takes its form of insanity and the woman tries hard to maintain a smile on her face.

Mothers fight through the pain of sleeplessness, the pain of not being appreciated, and the pain of not knowing when her next shower is.  This is not a joke, showers genuinely make people feel better.  They fight through the screams, fight through not being respected and listened to, and fight through the physical exhaustion.  True fighters, mothers still manage to fill their plate with ways to prove herself independent and amazing to act as a role model for her children.  In the 24 hours a day, mothers manage to cram extra hours to give even more to her family.

So with the nearing of a new year, all mothers will consciously decide to take it easy while their subconsciousness will stand proud, chest puffed and ready for more responsibilities, more obligations, and more love.

Grabbing life by the horns.

Bring it on.

giphy

 

A Rose From The Past

red-roses-1

Once upon a time, a young woman received a red rose from her loved one and, in the heat of the romance, vowed to keep the symbol of their undying love forever and dry the rose in one of her favorite poetry books.  She checked on the rose every few days to make sure that it still kept its shape, remembering the details of the day and imaging how she will open the book when she is old and happily married and call onto her husband who will join her in the memory with fondness that will be spoken of for generations to come.

… Or so she thought.

How many times was the promise of undying love proven to be a temporary feeling and a spur of the moment decision?  How many times has “forever” turned to something closer to a year or so, and how often have, “my heart will only beat for you,” turn to mere words spoken and soon forgotten.  Ah the many lovers who vowed and sworn and so easily checked out of love hotel and how many realized that the hotel is a small bed and breakfast?

Roses, and flowers in general, hold great meaning within their petals and are thus used widely by lovers all around the world.  Those of you who were successful in drying a flower realize that it has stood despite the harshness of life and remains powerful with its beauty.  Even though many relationships don’t work out, the importance of that single dry rose defeats time and turns that previous love immortal.

So with the social networking craze that enabled people to find out what their ex’s are up to, many long forgotten dried up flowers suddenly emerged and many old hideous pictures were tagged.  If a person is alive, you can eventually find out what they’re up to whether by searching the images in news (especially if you are living in a closed community like we are,) or by finding a friend of a friend of a friend who happens to have an open profile and a few pictures close to the location of your ex’s home.  You get my point.  We all searched for our ex’s and we all managed to find a loophole in their privacy even though we are not hackers.

Now, when a wife, who is not really happy with her life choices when it comes to the person she chose to marry, looks at the empty screen of her laptop after a great fight and recalls one of her ex’s, she may hear the siren’s song to take a leap into the dark end of the internet, to dance with the social media, and to search for her ex.  And what could she find?

Everything:

Her ex is a successful entrepreneur, a happily married father with a wife who is, in a word, stunning, yearly vacations, and the one-too-sweet picture of him in his mother’s 80th birthday surrounded by perfection.  Of course, in comparison to the S#it hole the stalker (well, what else would you call her?) is living, she is in hell envious of the heaven she sees.  And to make matters worse, the ex is a chocolatier.

Why oh why didn’t I marry the chocolatier.  Yes, a person who makes CHOCOLATE for a living!  A person who probably takes the small pieces of chocolate home to his wife because she loves chocolate.  Well, we all love chocolate!  Why don’t we get some?  A real Willy Wonka without the craziness.  A chocolatier!

If we only knew where life would take us, that woman would probably stick with the chocolatier knowing that the little things that she hated about him when she dumped him are the least of her concerns.  Does it really matter that he has a uni-brow?  HE MAKES CHOCOLATE for a living!!

Well, the simple minded game of, “if I married X, I would be ….” can by played with no guarantees as to the happiness levels afterwards because regrets and decisions make us who we are today.

And the rose I found in my poetry book?  I couldn’t for the life of me remember who it’s from.  I might have even bought it myself to see if I could dry flowers.  This really sounds more like me.

So, the next time you receive a flower and choose to keep it for the future, write a note explaining who it’s from, the date you got it, and what was going on that day.  Consider it a message in the bottle, but enclose enough information to remind yourself of the day.  You will have so many things on your mind later in life that you will not remember anything.  It is not a movie you watch in an hour or two, this is a lifetime of memories and events.  Do not expect to remember everything.

Lesson 1: when drying flowers, make sure to write a note with information

Lesson 2: if your current boyfriend’s family own a chocolate shop, stick with him; he will probably become a chocolatier.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑