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Dreams of a Blue Moon

Traitor- Torn in Two

Torn

Torn in two I ask myself

what did I do?

Not knowing how or when or why

but just cry

enjoyed the conversation at first

but now it hurts

and hurts and hurts…

Feel like I turned into a traitor

I’m now a stranger

not knowing the reason behind it all

did my soul call?

I ask myself what did I gain?

A heart that pains

and pains and pains…

Slowly see myself fade away

self, please stay

answer these questions for me, then go

I want to know.

Wishing to know, and hope I try

but slowly I die

and die and die…

– Dreams of a Blue Moon

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Rain

From Dreams of a Blue Moon

rain

Walking on the street

under the pouring rain

nothing seems sane

all are insane.

 

Walking on the street

under the pouring rain

people with hearts

people with brains.

 

Walking on the street

under the pouring rain

people in hugs

people in chains.

 

Walking on the street

under the pouring rain

people who lose

people who gain.

 

Walking on the street

under the pouring rain

people in pain

people in pain.

 

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The Freezing Lake

Source: Writing Prompt #350

images
She floated above the freezing lake waiting for the monster to reveal itself.  The cold air fluttered around her like pigeons.  She sighed, breathing warmth into her cold hands.  A little ripple barely noticed was all that she needed to smile.  He’s come, she thought to herself.

She turned to her right just as the monster’s head gently surfaced.  His blue skin was sleek with water dripping down, his green eyes glittering with the reflection of the mountains around.  Sarah, is it time?  It said in husky voice.

  • yes, my dear.  It is finally time
  • And are you certain that you’ve made the right decision?  Is this the right way forward?
  • Yes, I am certain.  I have thought of this long and hard.  I cannot bear to think what could happen lest I stay.

No answer, the sound of silence was calming.  She looked at the monster whose head was rested on its back and thought of the many days she spent conversing with her friend.  Their friendship was anything but conventional and she will miss it dearly.

  • The road you are taking is dangerous.  There is no way back.
  • I don’t want to come back
  • What if you do?  What if you miss me?
  • You will always be in my heart, Barlac
  • Will you remember me?
  • Always
  • You will be too busy with test after test.  It is not sheltered out there as it is with me
  • I am ready to undergo all the tests that are sent my way

More silence.  A cold wind brushed across Sarah’s face.

  • Are you already packed?
  • Yes
  • Did you pack everything you need?  Did you pack something to eat and something to drink?
  • I only packed my food and water
  • What about your clothes?
  • I don’t need anything more than what I’m wearing
  • It will get too cold

The sun was setting and Sarah felt like it was now or never

  • Barlac?
  • Yes, my dear
  • What will you do without me?
  • I will wait
  • Wait?
  • Yes, I will wait for another girl to stumble upon my lake so as to teach her the secrets of life
  • But life is out there, not in here
  • Is it?
  • Yes.  Everything you taught me cannot be applied in the outside world!
  • Can’t it?
  • Is this good bye?
  • Yes.  Thank you for everything
  • Never forget who you are
  • I won’t.

And with that, Barlac tipped forward onto Sarah’s head in what can only be considered a kiss and quietly descended back into the quietness of the lake.  She stood taking the scenery in for the last time, recalling the days she sat discussing Barlac’s teachings, debating morals and historical events, and uncovering answers for questions she never asked.  It was time to learn and unlearn, time to move on, and time for another chapter in her life.

3

When on Vacation- Buy Lollipops

Lollipop

 

lollipop
I love traveling.  Who doesn’t, right?  There are many ways in which you can turn your travel experience to better or worse.  Obviously, you must research where you are going, what you’re going to do, and what your budget is.  Who you’re traveling with is very important too because you don’t want to end up stuck with that person you can’t handle for ten days straight, right?

Well, this is the first time I travel with both of my children.  One is three and a half years old and the other is almost a year old.  Things were great, I didn’t expect to have some alone time, nor did I expect to have any free time to shower but, all in all, we created good memories.

Things I learned in this trip could be written in a book but this is a post about lollipops.  Let’s go back to 2009 when I visited Scotland (swoon, sigh, and nostalgic music). I loved every second in Edinburgh and my husband and I would go to St. Giles cathedral and order from their great selection of tarts. I would walk by everyday and see these big pieces of fudge staring at me. I mean, they would look at me walk by, like the Mona Lisa, I tell you!  There was a specific light brown piece which would practically beg to be bought but I never did thinking I’d come back for it.

I never did. (Heartbreaking, tears flowing down my face)

Do you understand, I never did.  I never got that piece of fudge and since 2009 and I regret it everyday!  I never knew what it tasted like, never knew how it would or wouldn’t crumble on my tongue, and I would never know its flavor.

And why’s that? Because I postponed buying it until the day I would travel and to my surprise St. Giles was closed.

Fast forward to 2017. My husband and I were pushing our children in their strollers in the airport and my three year old passes by a big lollipop and says he wants it.

We were running late and my husband refused so we went on.  The light brown fudge popped into my mind and gave me a knowing look, I knew what I had to do.

I held my ground and told my husband that we must buy it or else (OK, not really, I just offered to pay for the overpriced candy) and he lovingly obliged.

We were very late, my husband was very angry, but I got my little boy his candy so it doesn’t haunt him (and me) for the next ten years.

When on vacation, buy your lollipop.

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Climbing’s Easy- Did You Try Falling?

Climbing

falling

Climbing’s easy

Did you try falling?

Falling from the top after you were the best?

Falling from the bridge and getting all wet?

Falling from the window, falling from the door

Falling like no ever fell before?

Falling out of sense, falling out of line

Falling out of a place I used to call mine.

Falling out of steps, missing out on the dance

Falling out of thought, living in a trance.

Falling in love, for love is a big big hole

Falling out on a position you will hold nevermore.

Falling out of touch, your friends no longer here

Falling out of sight, missing eyes and missing ears.

Falling out of life, falling out of breath

Falling out of life, falling into death.

Climbing’s easy,

did you try falling?

4

Masks

Woman Looking at Reflection

No longer so hard, no longer so blind

I stare in the mirror at a face that’s not mine

No longer so harsh, no longer so cruel

The mask I had on was a useful tool.

 

Cannot keep a straight look on my face anymore

The skin disappearing, revealing the core

A sigh I take and try to put things back

Yet things won’t come if the will I lack

 

Emotions bubbling at my surface at last

Feathers I use to cover them fast

Cannot understand why I took away

The ice that covered my emotions today.

 

I want to set my emotions all free

Not doing so really pains me, you see

Yet it is better off to do what I’m told

And turn my eyes from warm to cold

 

My inner self defies me, I am not to blame

Things will come back, they will be the same

An emotionless mask I will put on again

Yet I still get wet when the clouds all rain.

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Failing

failing

Failing

even after getting what I want

still failing

still feeling the tears run down my cheek

still hearing promises that make me weak

failing to fulfill what I want the most

failing and turning into a ghost

failing to find happiness in it all

failing to run away from this brawl

failing to be who I really am

and being at peace with where I stand

still failing.

 

-From Dreams of a Blue Moon

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Ice

ice

 

Feelings were once a part of my life

and loads of feelings I had

dreams of being a mother and a wife

soon became my past.

 

I used to feel others’ pain

and tears would fall from my eyes

but then I thought I have no gain

so I stopped all of my cries.

 

Then soon enough I found out

that happiness isn’t forever

so I threw away happiness too

and hoped it would come never.

 

Sadly, though, all feelings left

and I was in the dark

not feeling pain nor happiness

no excitement, not a spark.

 

Smiles would crack my lips at times

and tears would run down my face

yet deep inside I surely know

in my heart, feelings have no place.

 

From Dreams Of A Blue Moon

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Demons

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(From Dreams of A Blue Moon by Bedoor Khalaf)

Darkness along with broken pride

as the glass of water breaks

seeing the wrong, not seeing the right

as bones in their graves shake.

 

Chaos around yet not a way

to change the angel’s mind

for the person that once has been a saint

will be a traitor to all mankind.

 

Will not care less to what others feel

since everyone has done him wrong

will cause harsh pain and torture on

those with a heart that longs.

 

Nowadays love is a sin

and only sinners love

roses turn into weeds

crows created from doves.

 

Pain and violence the only words

known to the human race

painted masks and hypocrites

stained on people’s face.

 

Angels turn to demons as

they realize life is unfair

but what stunned them most is the fact

that love no longer cares.

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