Search

Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

Tag

Personal

Shimmer- Makeup Trends

Shimmer

I remember back in middle school when over the summer holidays we were blessed with oily skin and growth spurts.  Sadly, my name didn’t come up in the “Growth Spurt” list but I was compensated with the oily skin three times.  It was crazy.  The amount of care you need to put to dab the oil from your skin was ridiculous.  The magazines we read had information on how to find out what your skin type was, like it wasn’t obvious.  Wash your face and take a piece of tissue/cotton/can’t remember what we needed, and place it on your face 20 minutes afterwards to see if there is any oily residue.  The problem was we were all a bunch of teenagers with hormones that can drown you and skin that makes you cringe so we were all (combination skin).  Powder paper from the Body Shop was our best friend even though it keeps running out of stock.

Learning how to beautify yourself was very difficult given the minimum media available.  Besides magazines, there were only books, TV shows, and advertisements you see in shops.  Nowadays, beautifying yourself is a way of life for some fashionistas who, in addition to makeup artists, promote products like primers and matifying BB creams for those who have a problem with oily skin.

Then someone decided the “shimmer” was a good thing (hence the vampire gif) and EVERYONE wanted to shine.

Shine- Aswad

Apparently if you go through media nowadays, there are specific areas which need to shine for you to have a good glow.  Call me outdated but I was surprised when I saw people adding shine on their nose.  I’VE BEEN DABBING MY NOSE FOR SO LONG, WHEN DID THIS TURN TO FASHION???

Now I believe that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and lo and behold I hope being fat becomes a fashion statement 🙂

When on Vacation- Buy Lollipops

Lollipop

 

lollipop
I love traveling.  Who doesn’t, right?  There are many ways in which you can turn your travel experience to better or worse.  Obviously, you must research where you are going, what you’re going to do, and what your budget is.  Who you’re traveling with is very important too because you don’t want to end up stuck with that person you can’t handle for ten days straight, right?

Well, this is the first time I travel with both of my children.  One is three and a half years old and the other is almost a year old.  Things were great, I didn’t expect to have some alone time, nor did I expect to have any free time to shower but, all in all, we created good memories.

Things I learned in this trip could be written in a book but this is a post about lollipops.  Let’s go back to 2009 when I visited Scotland (swoon, sigh, and nostalgic music). I loved every second in Edinburgh and my husband and I would go to St. Giles cathedral and order from their great selection of tarts. I would walk by everyday and see these big pieces of fudge staring at me. I mean, they would look at me walk by, like the Mona Lisa, I tell you!  There was a specific light brown piece which would practically beg to be bought but I never did thinking I’d come back for it.

I never did. (Heartbreaking, tears flowing down my face)

Do you understand, I never did.  I never got that piece of fudge and since 2009 and I regret it everyday!  I never knew what it tasted like, never knew how it would or wouldn’t crumble on my tongue, and I would never know its flavor.

And why’s that? Because I postponed buying it until the day I would travel and to my surprise St. Giles was closed.

Fast forward to 2017. My husband and I were pushing our children in their strollers in the airport and my three year old passes by a big lollipop and says he wants it.

We were running late and my husband refused so we went on.  The light brown fudge popped into my mind and gave me a knowing look, I knew what I had to do.

I held my ground and told my husband that we must buy it or else (OK, not really, I just offered to pay for the overpriced candy) and he lovingly obliged.

We were very late, my husband was very angry, but I got my little boy his candy so it doesn’t haunt him (and me) for the next ten years.

When on vacation, buy your lollipop.

School Life is Imaginary

Imaginary

We all know that dreams occur when we’re fast asleep.  So when we are expected to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready for school, some of our dreams are still lingering in our heads.  We manage to pull the energy to get dressed and, in good days, style our hair in a bun other than a high ponytail and we’re off to go.
Life, as we know it, exists within the school premises.  Life, all of life, is what we see, what we learn, who we hang out with, and on weekends, who we go out with.  We spend at least eight hours a day with our fellow classmates (and thus our BFFs forever!) and never reconsider another way of life.
Why is that?
Because it is very rare that social circles are beyond our school life.  We get to meet children from other schools when we play against them in our Junior Varsity and Varsity teams but it usually never advances to friendships.  We are mostly lazy, sticking with our childhood friends because we forgot how to make new friends and thus end up with that girl who just so happened to be sitting next to us in grade one.
How convenient.
Or if our parents are social butterflies, we befriend their children who, surprise surprise, probably go to our school as well because it’s “the best school there is.”
Then we get into groups.  People who like sports hang around with each other, people who play music, people who are technologically advanced, people who are technologically illiterate, cool kids, bad kids, popular kids, it’s all the same across schools and countries.  So you hate certain people, and like certain people.  And that’s the way it goes until the big day.
Graduation day.
You’ve been preparing all your life for this moment (this is probably the most used sentence in graduation speeches, alongside “we’ve done it”), and you’ve looked forward towards wearing that graduation gown and walking down the aisle.  You’ve discussed it a million times with your friends and were so anxious that you didn’t realize the car crash afterwards.  (sadly, a group of girls who graduated with me had a car crash but fortunately we didn’t lose anyone.)
The car crash called life.
Your close friends met your parents and so it’s no surprise when they meet them again in the ceremony.  It’s the other kids who turn all weird.  All of a sudden, that mean boy has parents.  Huh.  He has parents who kinda look like him and who, surprisingly, are very proud of his achievements even though they’re not so impressive.  BAM… Life…
A close friend decides to ignore you and concentrate on her family.  BAM… Life…
A girl who totally ignored you for the past five years comes up and takes a picture with you.  BAM… Life…
A guy who had a crush on you decides to introduce you to his mother who looks at you knowingly. BAM… Life…
People who didn’t really deserve the high achievement reward gets it and you wonder if there’s any foul play related.  BAM… Life…
And you walk in a haze… everything you once knew is completely gone.  Everything you thought was life is imaginary… everyone who walked on the school grounds suddenly is connected to people… It’s like a mind map of who knows who and who knows what and what money is being transferred to pull strings…
Then you realize, your college application could have gone through if only you had the money to “donate” and get into the amazing college of your dreams.  BAM… Life…
Life as you know it does not end within the school premises, life is what your parents have been trying to shelter you from because it’s a cruel cruel world for kids like you…
So be prepared to swim with the sharks, little fish.

Infused With Love- Ramadan

Infuse

momِ

As we enter the Muslim’s holy month of Ramadan, we look forward to the great blessings that are bestowed upon us every year and which we thank the Lord for as we are reminded of them daily.  We are reminded of the poor’s feelings of starvation through our fasting and thus we thank the Lord for our financial status which enables us to purchase the basic foods, at least, that will allow us to sleep with full bellies.

We are thankful for our families who are happily gathering around the table at the time of breaking our fast and we are reminded of the many people who have lost their loved ones (may God bless and have mercy on their souls.)

We are thankful for not being at war.  For having shelter above our heads and peace in our minds before our bodies.

And also, we are thankful for our mothers.  Our mothers who look forward to this month to have us all sitting together as a family before we all got busy with our lives.  And I don’t know about you, but my mother shows her love through food.

 She infuses her dishes with love.  Every single dish coming out of her kitchen smells of her.  Every single dish has the sense of her soul.  She use all her senses combined to produce a vast array of dishes that are loved by us all.  She slaves away in the kitchen, replacing last year’s dish set with a brand new one as Ramadan’s blessings, just to make us smile.  And instead of resting while she fasts, she chooses to go the extra mile and make my brother his kebabs because he just loves them.

And as if that’s not enough giving, she hand picks mint from her herb garden to infuse it in our tea, alongside love.

A big thank you to my mother who had a tiring day, you make Ramadan what it is. xoxo

 

هائمة في حبك

fec509a8877ea57edd4b63f4b0faf53e

 

قد لا توحي لك، يا سيدي ، كتاباتي بشيء ولكنها تحتوي على ما يتدفق في قلبي من ألم، وأمل، وشوق.  فمذ رأيتك آخر مرة تقرأ فيها الجريدة وأنا انتظر على أحر من جمر.  فأين أنت؟  لا زلت امر بجانب المقهى وأقف طويلا في انتظارك ولكنك لا تأتي.  أقف والشمس الحارقة تحرق وجهي ولكني لا أبالي، فكل شيئ يهون من أجل الحب

رأيتك مرة وأنت تلاعب طفلك فلم يؤلمني الأمر، بل وتخيلتك معي، لاحقا، وطفلنا يلعب معك.  أخذتني أحلامي إلى أبعد ما يكون، إلى ما وراء ما يراه الناس عيب، فكيف أفكر بك وأنت متزوج؟  كيف تختلجني الآمال وأنا اتمنى، في داخلي، أن تفكر بي

كيف تفكر بي؟  وكيف أتمنى ذلك؟  تجتاحني التساؤلات وارتطم بين الصح والخطأ.  بين أن اتمنى أن تكون لي وبين أن تستقر مع عائلتك.  بين أن اكون أنانية وبين أن اعود إلى الصواب

لذا قررت أن انتظرك يوميا لأراك قبل ذهابك إلى العمل وأنت تشتري كوبك اليومي، علني أرى عينيك بقرب أو أرى ابتسامتك، ولو لوهلة، عن بعد.  فهذه النظرات هي التي تمدني بالقوة لاستمر في يومي… وأسألك، يا سيدي، ما سبب اعجابي بك؟  هل لأني لا اعرفك وأقوم بوضع حوارات اختلقتها لنفسي وشخصية تخيلت بأنها لك؟  هل سيموت اعجابي إن كلمتك أم هل سأقع في حبك أكثر وأكثر

فلست إلا عابر سبيل اختار قلبي أن ينبض بقربك، وما الحب إلا تجاذب كيميائي.  فكيف دخلت لي؟  هل من خلال عيني، فيا لوسامتك.  أم من خلال أذناي، فصوتك الجذاب يذيبني، أم من خلال عروقي؟  أم هل كنا معا في حياة أخرى ولم التق بك إلا بعد فوات الأوان؟ فيا لحبي للتأخير!

ارجوك، لا تنسى قهوتك اليومية فلا أقوى على بعدك.

هائمة في هبك،

غريبة.

Asking SIRI- A Life Lesson

siri

We all know that sometimes it’s easier to talk to SIRI than actually going through the whole swish the finger across, swish it again, tap, and get what you want (we are a generhation who took the word lazy to a totally different level).  SIRI uses voice recognition to follow commands given by the owner of the IPhone/Ipad/Ipod and other I-related products.  For more information about what SIRI is, google SIRI wikipedia.

Last week, my five year old niece comes up to me and asks, “Can I talk to your phone?”  I didn’t quite understand her and was like huh?  She said, can I talk to your phone for a bit?  Her mom tells me from across the room that her daughter wants to talk to SIRI so I tell her to go ahead.  I was having a nice cup of tea and didn’t really need my phone so I didn’t think I would miss it.

A few minutes later, I hear my niece screaming, “I SAID SING A SONG!”  over and over again, louder and louder each time.  What she didn’t realize, though, was she wasn’t changing her command and when she does, it is very minimal.  I totally ignored her for the next ten minutes and then started worrying about my battery.  Luckily, she managed to get SIRI to “sing a song” which was basically just playing a random song from my music playlist.  She was beaming!  I took the phone away.

My three year old son wanted to, obviously, copy his “amazing older cousin” so he came and said, “mama can I use your phone?  I want it to sing for me.”  Which is very adorable because it sounded like he wanted someone to sing him a good night song.  I let him have my phone and he, come to think of it, knew how to get SIRI working.  Hmmm, I just realized this now.  Anyway, I told him, “Tell her play a song SIRI” and he did.  He was ecstatic and went to show his cousin who was surprised.

I got to hear how she doesn’t have a SIRI in her Ipad (it’s probably an older model) and how her mom’s SIRI isn’t working.  So today she comes up and asks to talk to SIRI again, please just for five minutes, ok three minutes, pleeeeease.  And I give in.  She picks the phone and before she says anything I say, “if you want her to play music don’t ask her to sing a song, ask her to play music.” and she did.  She didn’t have to scream, she didn’t have to waste her energy, she didn’t have to waste battery life, and she knew what she needed to ask to get her required result.

What we learn from this is

  1. when you want to ask for something, identify exactly what it is that you want and ask for it clearly and precisely.
  2. If you use the exact same words to ask for something, do not expect different outcomes at different times.  This expectation is known as insanity according to Einstein (doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results).
  3. You will not get different results when you shout, you will only get a headache.
  4. Kids will get what they want when adults are having a tea break
  5. Sometimes when copying a cousin, you still need to listen to your mom for directions

The Job Interview- Chuckle

Chuckle

job interview

As a fresh graduate, I never knew my true worth in the job market.  I thought that I would be lucky to get a job, any job.  I know that I haven’t been the best student to graduate from college but, come on, at least I graduated with a decent degree and some knowledge that I thought would do me well.

What I didn’t know was that people in the real world aren’t giving out jobs like lollipops, it is a gruesome process to get employed.

So when I got a call for an interview just a few weeks after graduating and applying to every single company I know including google, I was stunned.  Happy, but stunned.  I knew that many people didn’t get a call EVER.

Let me tell you a little bit about myself.  I am 21 years old, somewhat serious given that some kids my age grew up with the Xbox, WII, and playstation, and I have been trying to grow out my pink hair for the past few months.  I am aiming to cut off the last few inches next month if my calculations serve me right and I’ll be a normal blonde.

Like all kids preparing for an interview, I got my friend over and started going through my closet looking for something decent enough to pass as work clothes.  You see, I really just graduated and don’t have the money to splurge on a suit.  So I ended up wearing a short black dress with a red blazer on top.  I put my hair up in a ponytail, put on my black choker for luck, and was ready to go.

I was nervous as hell!  I walked into the office and was ushered to a long corridor with chairs.  I could see that there were three other kids there waiting for their turns and gave the one closest to me a smile.  He smiled back barely.  I could see that he was wearing a suit and started questioning my choice of clothes.  I looked over to the other girl in the row and saw she was wearing a suit too.  It’s not that I looked unprofessional, it’s just that I looked less professional.  Plus, the company is going to give us all a chance based on our qualifications, right?

Wrong.

Amy?

My heart started racing as I nodded and stood up.  The guy who went out of the room was smiling I felt my heart plummet thinking that they’ll choose him over me and it’s a waste of time going in.  I walked in the room.  It was a big room with an elder man sitting on one side.  He looked up and I could have sworn that he cringed.  I wasn’t sure what was the deal but he just added on to my nervousness.

Have a seat, Amy.  He said

I did as I was told.

  • How old are you
  • 21 years old
  • Why do you think we should employ you?
  • because I feel like I would be able to give so much to the organization
  • Do you know anything about the organization?
  • Yes, I read about the latest development of…
  • Yes it was in the news, everyone heard about it.  What about your skills?  Are you able to work long hours?
  • I am willing to work all day if needed
  • Yes yes, that’s what they all say.  What about when you get married and get pregnant, do you think you will be able to work?
  • umm, I haven’t thought that far, sir.  You see, I just graduated a few weeks ago…
  • do you have someone you are in a relationship with?  Wait, scratch that I’m not supposed to ask this.  But you can tell me if you want (he looks at me like he was pushing me to answer)
  • No I am currently single and want to focus on my work
  • So you’d be free to work extra hours for the next, let’s say, two or three years.  Any other special talents you have up your sleeves?
  • I am fluent in French.
  • Is that right?  Well, now we’re talking.  How long have you studied it?
  • Around 12 years
  • Impressive.  Anything else you want to add?  Any questions?
  • Just one, and I ask you because this is my first interview, sir.  How did I do?
  • He sneered, chuckled, and look up at me. Not well enough.

 

Pause and Forget

Pause

prison

All you need is one second.  A pause where you can regain your strength.  A pause to gather your nothingness into the empty shell of the person you once were.  All you need is a pause to stop your tears from flowing.  A pause to get out of the reality of darkness to the fantasy people call life.

A pause.

A pause to push back the monster eating your insides, to stop your knees from buckling under you, and to avert your eyes from the innocent eyes of the children who see all.  You smile in defiance of the energy building inside you.  The volcano of anger banging in your head anticipating a chance to erupt.  A pause is all it takes to put things into perspective, into the control you learned so long ago to master.

A pause.

To turn your inner shell into a happy smile.  A soulless puppet you always were, reluctant to move its limbs without the guidance of the puppeteer.  A pause to gather your wisdom and hide away the strings attached, no strings attached.

A pause is all it takes to stop yourself from crumbling.  From losing yourself into yourself and from seeing the true you.  A pause to put on the mask, to stop the tears and start the smile.  A pause to calm the tempest you so adore.  The tempest that makes you who you are: filled with anger, rage, passion.  A pause is all it takes to forget yourself and succumb to the chains of your imprisonment.

A pause.

 

In Your Mind, How Old Are You?

170d45ea67e225b271781e6320dd4fa1.jpg

Age is nothing but a number.

A number that defines the days we spent living in the world.  A number that defines where we are, or should be, in our lives and maturity levels.  A number that defines how we should think, act, and be.  A number that restricts our being into being what it should and shouldn’t be.

A number.

Some people perceive themselves younger.  Some believe their minds are older, probably even think they are wiser.  Born wise, they say.  But what ages us?  How many years have we spent not learning, not living, and not growing where the only difference is the number of candles on our cake.  So if we didn’t grow, how can the number go forward?  And if we forget and change our perspectives, why doesn’t the number turn back?

Back in time to what was.

But can you un-see what was seen?  Can you unlearn what was learnt?  Can you spare yourself the heartbreak and the major lesson that you still hold onto.  The lesson that gained you ten years or more.

When a person chooses to live shut away from people, does he grow?  When time ticks and nothing happens, does time proceed or does it stop?  When we are still, why does time pass us by?

In our minds, the age we see ourselves is the age that mattered most to us.  The time we peaked (and hopefully we shall peak again), but in the meantime, our memories from that age live on, so technically, if you see yourself as an 18 year old and can swear by the moon and the stars in the sky (I swear- Boys2men), then you are living in that era.  In that age.

Time should not pass.

In the mirror, do you see who you are or do you think you see what is?  Do you exist now or then?  And if time has passed, shouldn’t you have stayed with time?

Living in the past is never the best place to live, but to question every decision made helps clear your way forward.  Nostalgia for what was should fuel what is and what should be.

But when your mind and soul are living in a different era, how can you pull yourself forward?  How can you pull yourself back to your age?

Age is nothing but a number.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑