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Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

Do Not Accept Anything Substandard

Substandard

perfectionism

Everyone is perfect.  I mean it.  Everyone out there has perfection in him and is not required to change himself to measure up against another person’s scale.  You are your own measurement tool and you have it in you to be who you are in this imperfect world.

I am not going to talk to you about what you need to do and how you need to do it to be considered successful, only you know what is needed to reach greatness based on your own scale.  You do not need a life coach, you are capable of being your own life coach and reflect on your own hopes and dreams.

But first, you need to be honest with yourself.  The many things people called you previously and the traits some so rudely pointed out as your weak points need to be considered.  Sit with yourself and talk openly.  What kind of person are you?  What kind of person do you want to be?  What does perfection look like and why should you accept being substandard based on your own standards?  There are hidden truths that you may not see but they will eventually come into perspective.

Draw a picture of what perfection looks and strive for it.  Add your values, hopes, dreams, and start walking.  There is no turning back if you are clear with yourself.

What makes you happy?  What makes you successful.  Go for it.  Act the way you accept to act, be the superman you see yourself to be and continue in the journey that is life.  Do not strive to make people happy except those who matter and whose happiness makes you happy.

Be genuine in your giving.  Do not feel bad for giving a part of yourself to others if this is what makes you happy.  Be kind, be gentle, be loving.

Be strong, be persistent, be honest.

Be what makes you a better person today, who knows if we’ll be here tomorrow.

Live your life to the fullest, love your family, love your friends, and love yourself the most.

 

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Afternoon Tea- Repost

Tea

Repost- Afternoon Tea

image

The first memory she had of her grandmother’s house was the scent of freshly baked blueberry muffins.  She loved how the aroma filled the entrance and loved the traces of flour on the surface of the working area.  She would draw little hearts and her grandmother would tease and ask if the hearts were meant for her or the muffins, and she would answer the muffins.  She loved her grandmother who introduced her to this wonderful world of baking.

She remembered the sweet lemon pies they would make in the summer to accompany the swimming trips and the warm apple cinnamon crumble that would accompany the winter winds.  She was her grandmother’s little helper.  The person who would hold the rolling pin and the person who would garnish the cake tops with chocolate shavings.  She was the person who would cut the two day old bread to cover with the custard, raisins, and nuts and turn it into warm home-made pudding.  She would always choose the floral tablecloth and tea set for their days together and would help serve afternoon tea to her family and enjoy every second of their tea time together.

All her free time was spent in the kitchen with her grandmother.  she learned everything in regards to the temperatures, recipes, and baking tips. She asked her father for a set of baking pans for her tenth birthday and was ecstatic when she unwrapped the pink wrapping paper and saw them in the box.  Her first baking pans.

She always wanted to settle down and start a family of her own.  She met Owen once she started college in orientation and  things just clicked between them.  Her short dark hair and warm hazel eyes penetrated his heart and he knew that she was the woman of his dreams.

They had some joined classes and Owen was so happy to help Catherine with her work.  They spent so much time preparing for projects and presentations.  After two years of college, Catherine told Owen that she will not be continuing her education and a Diploma was enough.  Her grandmother have passed away and she had to go back and spend her summer in the old kitchen.  He understood her passion and wished her well but didn’t want to lose her so he promised to take some time to visit her for a week during the spring break.

She walked into the old kitchen and ran her fingers across the top of the working area. Dust in place of flour.  She opened the cupboards that once held the dried cranberries and vegetable oil and they were empty.  She sighed.  She opened the fridge that was once packed with eggs and cream to have an empty space stare back.  She took the rolling pin in her hand and started to think of a way to bring life back into her grandmother’s  house.

She smiled and started to work on cleaning up the house.  She started with the kitchen, then the rooms, and finally the living area.  She made sure the place was warm and welcoming as it always was when her grandmother was around.  She left the house and came back with bags of groceries.

She started by making a basic vanilla cake. She sliced the vanilla bean and used half in the custard she was cooking on the stove.  Her heart skipped a beat when she thought the eggs curdled but was satisfied to see that it all went well.  Her grandmother taught her well.

she was expecting her father, mother, and sisters to arrive soon and Owen also confirmed he would be coming over for tea.  He had a different plan in mind and coordinated with Catherine’s mom to propose.  She was ecstatic to hear and gave her blessings.

Catherine chose the floral table spread and got her grandmother’s floral cups and saucers.   She started boiling the water for the tea and was piping creme patisserie in her eclairs when the doorbell rang.

It was nobody.  She felt a bit of wind across her face so she had to make sure the draft was managed by closing the windows.  Catherine arranged the eclairs, vanilla cake, mini sandwiches, scones, and oatmeal cookies on the table and took a seat next to her grandmother’s chair.  She placed a plate with one piece of each baked good and a cup of warm tea as tribute to her grandmother.  She was content with the outcome of four hours of baking and felt her grandmother would be proud.

The guests walked in and were impressed.  Her sister beamed and Owen didn’t believe she didn’t buy the cakes.  She smiled and sat down, making sure every one had a taste of her cakes.

Owen proposed.  He went down on one knee and told her how she filled his life with happiness and what an honor it would be if she accepts to be his wife.  He slipped the ring on her finger.  Her family congratulated them and soon the get together was over.

Catherine was alone in the house, cleaning up and putting things back.  It was the perfect day in her grandma’s little home.  She was wiping the working area and unconsciously started drawing little hearts.  She was exactly where she wanted to be.

“These are for you, grandma,”

When on Vacation- Buy Lollipops

Lollipop

 

lollipop
I love traveling.  Who doesn’t, right?  There are many ways in which you can turn your travel experience to better or worse.  Obviously, you must research where you are going, what you’re going to do, and what your budget is.  Who you’re traveling with is very important too because you don’t want to end up stuck with that person you can’t handle for ten days straight, right?

Well, this is the first time I travel with both of my children.  One is three and a half years old and the other is almost a year old.  Things were great, I didn’t expect to have some alone time, nor did I expect to have any free time to shower but, all in all, we created good memories.

Things I learned in this trip could be written in a book but this is a post about lollipops.  Let’s go back to 2009 when I visited Scotland (swoon, sigh, and nostalgic music). I loved every second in Edinburgh and my husband and I would go to St. Giles cathedral and order from their great selection of tarts. I would walk by everyday and see these big pieces of fudge staring at me. I mean, they would look at me walk by, like the Mona Lisa, I tell you!  There was a specific light brown piece which would practically beg to be bought but I never did thinking I’d come back for it.

I never did. (Heartbreaking, tears flowing down my face)

Do you understand, I never did.  I never got that piece of fudge and since 2009 and I regret it everyday!  I never knew what it tasted like, never knew how it would or wouldn’t crumble on my tongue, and I would never know its flavor.

And why’s that? Because I postponed buying it until the day I would travel and to my surprise St. Giles was closed.

Fast forward to 2017. My husband and I were pushing our children in their strollers in the airport and my three year old passes by a big lollipop and says he wants it.

We were running late and my husband refused so we went on.  The light brown fudge popped into my mind and gave me a knowing look, I knew what I had to do.

I held my ground and told my husband that we must buy it or else (OK, not really, I just offered to pay for the overpriced candy) and he lovingly obliged.

We were very late, my husband was very angry, but I got my little boy his candy so it doesn’t haunt him (and me) for the next ten years.

When on vacation, buy your lollipop.

The Man Who Buried 

Bury

He was known to bury his feelings. A great actor with a greater teacher. A teacher who taught him that when you were born and cried, your mother wasn’t there to hold and comfort you, for she abandoned you. A teacher who taught him that being bounced from foster home to another only meant friends changing and never settling in. A teacher who taught him that he is not wanted, a dog when families required puppies. 
 So it went on… a child living everyday wishing it was his last and not feeling anything because, come to think of it, why would he want to feel anything?
So he buried a piece of himself.
When He turned 18, he was given the opportunity to leave the home and find his way in the world so his teacher encouraged him to do so, just to slam every door in his face. It was difficult to find a job, any job, so he looked some more. Persisted and chose to bury all feelings of disappointment when he was turned down at interviews. Until he found a job that required him to work night shifts moving truckloads of trash away from civilization.
So he drove all the way out every night, and buried a piece of him. 
His life got better: the orphan boy who could. Many people invited him to their homes, it was a way his teacher showed him what he never had growing up but he still looked with curiosity. He buried all feelings of longing and envy.
His teacher taught him that there is a person out there for you when he met his girlfriend, then he found out that things can only get better… just to get worse. So all he did was bury a relationship before it ever became anything.
He buried his hopes and dreams of a family when he buried his heart. 
The more he learned, the more he grew.

 The more he grew, the more he buried.

Illusion

Illusion

He made sure that what he portrayed was just an illusion. He made sure that when he chose his next victim he would have things set out in order. The car, the shoes, the clothes. 
His name was Jack Carter, a professional illusionist who, in some ways, beats the best illusionists of this time. The only difference is he doesn’t make a big show to flaunt his skills, he makes sure to hide them.
What he does is plain and simple. He moves to a new town after researching his victims and starts stalking her. He watches her every move, studies her actions, likes and dislikes, her social circle, and other important points that help his attack.
He plays with his food before devouring it, makes sure that the temperature is just right, that the woman he chooses is ready to sell her soul to him. Of course, this courtship offer takes a few months but he’s been getting better at his illusion.
Either that or women are losing their sight.
He entered the town Chistal and drove to the East side in his black minivan: a car he once researched was the most used car around the eastern coast. He parked next to the conventional white piquet fence and watched as a woman in her early fifties walks out of the house for her daily walk. 

7:05 a.m, right on time dear Mrs. Robbins, he thought.



Jane Robbins was very attractive for her age. A tall, polished businesswoman who recently got divorced after a 25 year marriage. He stepped out of the car, making sure that his shoelaces are tied and started walking behind her, giving her just enough space to not realize that the illusion was about to start.
She power walked for the next few blocks and he started to gain speed. Only when she decided to take a bit of a break did Jack start his jog; he needed to break a bit of a sweat to compliment his act. 
He walked up to Jane out of breath. He knew that he looked very attractive with his black shorts and blue t-shirt, he also wore his fake Cartier watch especially for this encounter.
He treaded softly, approaching the bench with a big smile on his face. “Hello beautiful, nice day isn’t it? Do you mind if I sit down?”
Jane never knew what happened, never had a chance.
By the end of the year, she woke up one morning looking for her fiancé and found him gone, along with every penny she had. 

The Bridge

Writing prompt 240


He sat on the rail of the bridge watching the people cross, waiting for his next victim.

He didn’t know that he was being watched, followed from the second he stepped out of his house. He didn’t realize that there is someone who wanted to prove his methods were not up to par, not meticulous enough. He didn’t know that during his last attack, the single slip up was the reason he was now hunted.

Once a hunter, now hunted.

Hunted because he let the girl scratch his face and the police found the evidence of his DNA underneath her fingernails.

And now, he was no longer part of  the group. No longer welcomed.

Watching, he was being watched. Planning, his death was being planned, schemed.
The next day, newspapers read “the Bridge Serial Killer was Found Dead Beneath the Bridge.”
How ironic.

School Life is Imaginary

Imaginary

We all know that dreams occur when we’re fast asleep.  So when we are expected to wake up at 5:00 a.m. to get ready for school, some of our dreams are still lingering in our heads.  We manage to pull the energy to get dressed and, in good days, style our hair in a bun other than a high ponytail and we’re off to go.
Life, as we know it, exists within the school premises.  Life, all of life, is what we see, what we learn, who we hang out with, and on weekends, who we go out with.  We spend at least eight hours a day with our fellow classmates (and thus our BFFs forever!) and never reconsider another way of life.
Why is that?
Because it is very rare that social circles are beyond our school life.  We get to meet children from other schools when we play against them in our Junior Varsity and Varsity teams but it usually never advances to friendships.  We are mostly lazy, sticking with our childhood friends because we forgot how to make new friends and thus end up with that girl who just so happened to be sitting next to us in grade one.
How convenient.
Or if our parents are social butterflies, we befriend their children who, surprise surprise, probably go to our school as well because it’s “the best school there is.”
Then we get into groups.  People who like sports hang around with each other, people who play music, people who are technologically advanced, people who are technologically illiterate, cool kids, bad kids, popular kids, it’s all the same across schools and countries.  So you hate certain people, and like certain people.  And that’s the way it goes until the big day.
Graduation day.
You’ve been preparing all your life for this moment (this is probably the most used sentence in graduation speeches, alongside “we’ve done it”), and you’ve looked forward towards wearing that graduation gown and walking down the aisle.  You’ve discussed it a million times with your friends and were so anxious that you didn’t realize the car crash afterwards.  (sadly, a group of girls who graduated with me had a car crash but fortunately we didn’t lose anyone.)
The car crash called life.
Your close friends met your parents and so it’s no surprise when they meet them again in the ceremony.  It’s the other kids who turn all weird.  All of a sudden, that mean boy has parents.  Huh.  He has parents who kinda look like him and who, surprisingly, are very proud of his achievements even though they’re not so impressive.  BAM… Life…
A close friend decides to ignore you and concentrate on her family.  BAM… Life…
A girl who totally ignored you for the past five years comes up and takes a picture with you.  BAM… Life…
A guy who had a crush on you decides to introduce you to his mother who looks at you knowingly. BAM… Life…
People who didn’t really deserve the high achievement reward gets it and you wonder if there’s any foul play related.  BAM… Life…
And you walk in a haze… everything you once knew is completely gone.  Everything you thought was life is imaginary… everyone who walked on the school grounds suddenly is connected to people… It’s like a mind map of who knows who and who knows what and what money is being transferred to pull strings…
Then you realize, your college application could have gone through if only you had the money to “donate” and get into the amazing college of your dreams.  BAM… Life…
Life as you know it does not end within the school premises, life is what your parents have been trying to shelter you from because it’s a cruel cruel world for kids like you…
So be prepared to swim with the sharks, little fish.

Infused With Love- Ramadan

Infuse

momِ

As we enter the Muslim’s holy month of Ramadan, we look forward to the great blessings that are bestowed upon us every year and which we thank the Lord for as we are reminded of them daily.  We are reminded of the poor’s feelings of starvation through our fasting and thus we thank the Lord for our financial status which enables us to purchase the basic foods, at least, that will allow us to sleep with full bellies.

We are thankful for our families who are happily gathering around the table at the time of breaking our fast and we are reminded of the many people who have lost their loved ones (may God bless and have mercy on their souls.)

We are thankful for not being at war.  For having shelter above our heads and peace in our minds before our bodies.

And also, we are thankful for our mothers.  Our mothers who look forward to this month to have us all sitting together as a family before we all got busy with our lives.  And I don’t know about you, but my mother shows her love through food.

 She infuses her dishes with love.  Every single dish coming out of her kitchen smells of her.  Every single dish has the sense of her soul.  She use all her senses combined to produce a vast array of dishes that are loved by us all.  She slaves away in the kitchen, replacing last year’s dish set with a brand new one as Ramadan’s blessings, just to make us smile.  And instead of resting while she fasts, she chooses to go the extra mile and make my brother his kebabs because he just loves them.

And as if that’s not enough giving, she hand picks mint from her herb garden to infuse it in our tea, alongside love.

A big thank you to my mother who had a tiring day, you make Ramadan what it is. xoxo

 

First Impressions

Impression

impressions

First impressions are usually everlasting impressions.  When you meet someone for the first time, you immediately decide what kind of person he is, whether he is educated or not, what he does for a living, what his social status is, and other issues that brand the other person and place him in a specific box.  Other people, upon meeting you, also do the same thing even though we sometimes forget and try to stand by that people shouldn’t be labelled without knowing them.

Well, it’s a shallow world and people will see what you present to them.

When entering the workforce, newly graduated students are informed to wear a suit to your interview and make sure to go on time.  They are right, it makes a big difference in your employ-ability rating (how employable are you.)

Some issues cannot be changed such as if the person you are meeting generalizes all women into being soft or all people who graduate from a certain college to be smart.  Some generalizations may come to your advantage but you will never know which would fit your future boss.

So to make sure you are doing things the right way, at least in the perspective of many managers out there, make sure to follow these points when meeting someone for the first time, especially if you are going into a job interview.

1- Make sure you prepare for the interview in advance.  Read about the company you are going to and know the position you are applying for (you’d be surprised how many people aren’t sure).

2- Make sure you know the means you will use to get to your interview and what route you will be taking.  You don’t want the interview jitters to mix with traffic and a blank mind.

3- Print your CV and use a sheet protector to protect it.  Make sure to keep an extra copy just in case there might be more than one person interviewing you.

4- Arrange what you will be wearing in advance.  Give yourself a chance to go buy something just in case.  Choose what you will wear wisely.  This is very important, your clothes should fit you correctly, you need to make sure that your outfit is ironed, and you shouldn’t be running around last minutes looking for your other pair of shoes.

5- Read and review your CV.  Yes you may have just written it but you might not remember all points listed.  You do not want to be in a situation where the person interviewing you is asking when you graduated and you mix up your dates.  This puts a big question mark on who actually wrote your CV which makes you an unreliable candidate.

6- Make sure that you get a good night sleep.  You need to be fully rested.  So ignore Netflix and get yourself into bed.

7- On the day of the interview, do something that relaxes you spiritually.  You may choose to pray or meditate or call your mother for support.  Do something that would give you an extra boost of confidence.

8- Make sure you care for your hygiene.  Take a shower, use deodorant, brush your teeth, wipe your shoes, and put some – not overwhelming, perfume.  Do not smoke before your interview, they can smell it on you and it’s not pleasant.

9- Get there at least 15 minutes before the interview.  Give yourself some time to relax and get acquainted to your surroundings.  When walking in, pay attention to the surroundings, they might give you some information about the company and how it functions

10- When your name is called, breathe, stand up straight, and with confidence walk into the room.  Knock on the door, smile to the person you see, and go for a good handshake.  In some cultures, males and females are not supposed to have any physical interactions so make sure you know the culture you are in too.

11- Sit when requested and look the part

12- Answer genuinely.  Honesty is the best policy.  Talk clearly and maintain eye contact.  When you don’t know the answer to a question simply say that you don’t.  It’s alright.

13-  When given the chance, try to talk about your accomplishments as objectively as possible.  You are simply stating facts so there’s nothing to be ashamed of.

14- Show your interest in what the interviewer is saying.  You need to listen attentively and respond accordingly.  THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO DAYDREAM!!

15- At the end of the interview, thank the interviewer and if you are not told what the next step would be, ask politely.  One way would be, “would I be getting a call in either case of acceptance or rejection?”

16- Breathe: you can now daydream, take off your tie, get into your slacks, forget to shower, and simply be you.

Good  luck 🙂

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