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Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

Blink- A Mother’s Fear

Blink

blink

Don’t blink or you’ll miss it.  It seems like it was yesterday that I gave birth to my first born and just delivered my second this morning.  It seems like I was holding onto them in the hospital wondering how I can do this, how and when did I become a mom.  Cradling them in my arms and holding on tight in fear that I miss a blink.  Watching their face and lips and fingers and promising that I will always be there.

Then I blinked.

And here I am planning my first boy’s birthday party.  You see, he wants a pirate themed party because at four years of age he can talk and decide.  He comes to me with feelings and ideas and jokes and pranks.  Wasn’t he just my newborn?  Wasn’t I rocking him to sleep and trying to figure out how to put his diaper on?  Wasn’t I scared to give him a bath all by myself and felt that great achievement when I finally summed up the courage?  Where did that baby go?

Then I blinked.

And my second boy was walking and talking.  He’s a funny fellow who imitates everything he sees and loves to dance.  He too has things he likes and he too can decide whether he wants to go out or stay in (he always decides to go out of course.)  Where did my baby go?  Wasn’t I crying for fear of not being there for him, for fear of not giving him the care I gave his brother, the undivided attention and the hours spent alone?  When did he grow up and what did he eat?

And now I am too afraid to blink.

Too afraid to miss a milestone, too afraid to miss out on a smile or a tear.  I am too afraid to be unavailable, to not know what they feel or what they like.  I am too afraid to miss out on the hours of the days that make them happy, too afraid to have someone else influence them.  There’s so much to do and so little time.

How can I schedule music classes, self defense classes, homework, and fun time when they’re older?  It’s all fun time and I barely seem to be holding on to my sanity.  It’s all fun time and I miss them at the end of every single tiring day.

Oh yes, the days are long… sometimes much too long… much too tiresome but in the end they are limited.  Create memories one day at a time and honestly, try not to blink.

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Agile

Agile

Broken-Heart

Known to be agile

my mind ran away

leaving me with a mess

of a heartbreak.

Dancing Nymphs

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via Image Writing Prompt #50

‘Do you think we can drink there?’

‘No I heard it was cursed.’

‘But surely a small sip wouldn’t hurt.’

‘I wouldn’t but I can’t stop you.’

‘If anything happens, tell my mom I love her.’

‘Don’t do it then, Gareth.’

‘I can’t help it, I’m very thirsty.  We’ve been walking for ten days now and we barely had enough water to quench our thirst.’

‘I heard if you drink from it you will be faced with your biggest nightmare.  There’s another stream up ahead, can’t you be patient a bit more?’

‘I’ll try.  I just hear it calling me, like a siren.  Gaaaareeetthhhhh… Gaaaareeetthhhhh… so softly and gently.  Can’t you hear your name?’

Silence…

‘I hear it!!! I hear it calling me too!’

‘Do you think anything that is cursed can be so beautiful?’

‘Yes, let’s try to block out the sound and walk forward.’

The walk towards the lake became harder as the mountain got steeper.  They knew it was best to turn to the left side, to take the road most sane people would take but the call cannot be ignored.  Gareth and Liam heard their names being called over and over again, a sweet Siren singing and waiting for her loved one.  They both were best friends and archaeologists who got onto this adventure in attempt to find out more about a temple built in the 4th Century A.D.  There were numerous rumors about such a temple and the village people all said that they would see the temple rise up to the top of the mountain every forty days.  It was then that they would lay their offerings of fruits, vegetables, meat, and poultry at the bottom of the mountain and initiate a dance of pledges to the Gods of the mountains and the holy temple within.  They also knew that the lake was cursed, and that nobody should drink from it and that when a person does, he is struck with madness.

Gareth and Liam didn’t pay attention to the folk tales and were determined to see the temple rise.  They arrived in Odes just one day after the supposed rise and were waiting anxiously for the days to pass.  They were reluctant, skeptical, and finally hopeful and never gave up.  They started the walk and had no help from Odesians who held onto each other in fear.

The lake was calling them.  They heard their names so clearly as they reached near it and their thirst increased tenfold with the dry air.  It was Liam who saw them first.  Creatures that looked like mermaids splashing in and out of the water with their long hair.

‘Mermaids!’

‘No nymphs, they don’t have tails.’

They decided to hide from sight and watch the magic they were meant to witness.

The sunlight shone directly on a golden rock situated in the middle of the lake.  Each of the nymphs entered the water three times, her skin turning from a subtle yellow to a pink, a blue, and finally to lilac.  She would then sit on the rock and brush her hair with a wooden comb into a side braid tied with a piece of grass.  Finally, she would walk on the water towards the big olive tree and sit down, singing.  It seemed to be a method of cleansing, a baptism of sorts, as each nymph did exactly the same.  When the final nymph took its place and formed a semi circle of beauty, the earth shook and the lake opened.  From within, twelve men wearing white robes marched up stairs that weren’t there before.  They approached the beautiful creatures and each took one in his hand and led her to the wide opening in the trees.

The singing continued and it seemed like it was coming from all around.  The sound of a harp and a flute playing light music.  They started dancing.  Smiles and laughter filled the air and suddenly, they felt themselves rise above ground.  Gareth and Liam smiled at each other in disbelief as the lake with its surroundings rose to the top of the mountain.  They could see the lights of the village below, see the offerings next to the three torches, and were wondering in awe.  It was spectacular.

A few hours of dance, the temple, they realized, started to descend.  The men went back in the lake and the nymphs walked into the dense trees behind them.  All the magic was gone.

‘What was that!?’

‘I don’t know.  Let’s go back and tell everyone’

‘Yes.’

They walked in silence, repeating what they saw and reliving every moment.  They tried to reach conclusions as to why this happens and who are those men but didn’t find the answer.

A few steps towards Odes and all this will be recorded.  Yes, just a few more steps and we will be famous!  Gareth and Liam.

Gaaaaareeeetttthhhhhh…..  Liiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaamm….

‘I don’t want to leave.’

‘Leave what?’

‘here.’

‘What’s here?’

‘hmm.. I don’t know.  Why are we here?’

‘I think we wanted some water.  Let’s not drink from this lake, I heard it’s cursed.’

‘Let’s just go back down, there’s no rising temple.’

‘What a waste of time.’

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Image from https://www.zerochan.net/2104818

The Piano

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via Image Writing Prompt #43

“You never play anymore, you just sit there,” I told my dad one afternoon as the light fell on the black and white keys and his unwavering hands.  He seemed lost in thought as always and kept his eyes fixed on his fingers.  I recalled how the music notes would fill our home from early morning before we were ready to go to school.  It was the sound of the keys and the smell of the coffee that made our home what it was.

And now, the sound ceased to exist.

It was three months ago when my mother passed away so suddenly.  It was a calm night in March when I heard her being rushed down the stairs with my dad.  I came out of my room with my headphones on my shoulders not knowing what was going on.  She had on her light blue robe and was pale as a ghost.  She was holding onto her stomach and screaming from pain and dad was barely able to stand, let alone attend to her.  “Don’t worry hon, I just feel a bit sick but I’ll be back.”  She tried to comfort me sweetly.  I believed her, I always believed my mom.  I never thought she would ever lie to me or ever leave me.

But she did.

There was nothing they could do to stop it.  It was unexpected and so sudden that I would find myself forgetting she was gone, like waking up and expecting to smell the coffee.  My dad couldn’t arrange anything for her funeral so my aunt took the heavy responsibility off our chests.  It was dark, dim, and morbid like any other funeral regardless of the weather.

And to make matters worse, the sound of the piano stopped.  “You never play anymore, you just sit there,” I stated again.

She’s gone.  He whispered, with a tear rolling down his cheek.

Fully Booked

Reservation

reading

She looked up from her book as she heard a person calling , “miss, do you need this chair?”  Her eyes needed a few seconds to readjust and she couldn’t find her voice fast enough so she nodded.  “Thank you,” he said with a quick smile.  He was a handsome man.  She looked at him walking towards his group of friends and tried to figure him out.  What was a person like him doing in a cafe like this at this time?

It was barely 8 a.m. and Beth was used to taking her coffee in the cafe situated at the corner of her flat.  She liked the view and the airiness of the place, in addition to the hospitality of the middle aged owner and her daughter.  It was usually a quiet place, a place where people would walk in, grab a coffee and a bite to go, and leave.  The two tables that were set for dine in guests were seldom busy and it was very odd that this morning the second chair on her table was needed to accommodate a group of four men.

She tried to resume her reading but felt like someone was watching her.  She looked up and she was right: he was watching her from a few feet away and smiled.  She smiled back and unconsciously rubbed her left hand before looking back down at her book blushing.

The words were getting fuzzy, she closed her eyes for a few seconds and tried to refocus.  This was her sanctuary and she wasn’t going to allow anything or anyone to ruin it for her.  She took a sip of her latte and glanced up.  He had a cup in his hand and nodded in her direction.  This is ridiculous, she thought to herself.  He’s just being friendly.

She managed to believe herself and went back to reading.  Time passed by and she could hear the group saying their farewells.  She looked up and saw that he was putting on his suit jacket.  Probably off to work, she thought to herself.

In her mind, she imagined him seated behind a big desk with his grey hair glistening in the sunlight behind him.  His forearms bulging beneath his black suit as he walks across to welcome her into his lair.  Towering over her, she smiles coyly as he puts his arms around her and ushers her in.

“Thank you,” he says pulling her away from her fantasy.  “I read that book, it’s good,” he remarks. “How are you liking it so far?”

“I’m enjoying it very much.” She whispers.

“mind if I join you?  I don’t need to be at work till after lunch.” He asks

She looked at him quietly and sighs, recalling the heartbreak that is yet to heal and the pain her ex-husband caused her.

“I’m sorry, I’m fully booked for this year with myself.  Maybe next year we can catch up.”

and Finally, Thank You

Finally

Happy-New-Year-Images.jpg
Last year, I posted my Gratitude post wishing everyone a happy new year and remembering all things I am grateful for.  This year, I would like to dedicate my post to the readers of my post who have been a big part of my life.

 

I write because I want to be heard.  Sometimes it is hard to say something and other times it’s harder to find the right person to talk to.  So when I am sitting behind a laptop I enter another world.  A world of words, a world of sentences, poetry, prose, and stories.

Thank you for the likes, the comments, and the follows.  Thank you for the prompts, other blogs, and for the reblogs.  Thank you for your support.

And finally, 2032 views, 1368 visitors, 354 likes, 50 comments, and 60 posts later…  thank you, 2017, for being kind.

Wishing you all a happy and prosperous new year 2018.

A Trip to Zoomba

A Trip to Zoomba

 

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Manners are important to have in Zoomba. Join the narrator on his trip to Zoomba land where he has to learn his manners all over again alongside the Woo, Ted, and all Zoombians who are, strangely, quiet girls and quiet guys.  A great book for children ages 5-8 years of age.

 

Hello my friends,

how do you do?

I have come from far

just to talk to you.

 

I have no name

but you can call me “Sam”

or “Joe” or “John”

“Janette” or “Pam.”

 

I have no name

because all names are good

my mom couldn’t choose one

And now, I should.

 

Get your copy today on Amazon for $9.95 or send me an email on bedoor.khalaf@gmail.com

 

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Confess

Confess

sunset-beach-wedding

Confess yourself:

let my eyes see what they long to see

and my ears hear your innermost desires.

Open your soul to me

watch closely as I tread into the folds of your being

and pick memory after memory to read.

 

Confess yourself:

let my being merge with yours

and my hands touch your unfulfilled dreams.

Allow my entrance

into the make-believe life you created

and water the flowers on your bed.

 

Confess yourself:

let me understand your deepest thoughts

and my soul drink from the lips of your eternity.

Allow my intrusion

for I have lost everything I am

when I found you.

 

New Year Resolutions should be SMART

Reblogging 2015 new year resolution post, I am still thinking of how to best plan my 2018 goals and will share some resources with you (don’t expect them to be amazing, I’m not a graphic designer).

Bedoor Bluemoon

smart-goals

Everyone has a boost in motivation when writing their New Year resolutions and, honestly, why not?  It’s a great time to start something since everyone else is doing it.  It’s usually the time when people are very optimistic about the 365 days coming up they feel that they can do anything, everything, the thing they never got around to, and thing they vowed will be done, and the thing they will probably stop doing in a few months.

Now why is that?

Well, beginnings are always hopeful.  The start of a new job, the start of a new relationship, the start of a new goal, and so on.  The problem is the start is usually where we make mistakes.

When setting goals, you should make sure that they should be SMART goals.  I’m sure many of you know the concept of SMART goals in work but, as a reminder, goals should be Specific, M

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