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Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

The First Week on the Job- Bewildered

Bewildered

deer

Congratulations on your first job!  You are fresh in the workplace with many many many assumptions about what goes on.  You’ve been chosen from a list of candidates and impressed the bosses.  You’ve jumped through this hoops and finally got initiated into this wonderful place. Do you think it’s going to get better?  Well, it can’t possibly get worse, right?

Wrong.

Because now the real work starts, and I’m not talking about the tasks on your job description (if you’ve been given one), I’m talking about the merging of yourself with your social surroundings: your colleagues.

Similar to your first day in school, there are people who will accept you and people who wish you never set foot in the company.  There are people who will help you and people who will try to make your life a living hell.  Well, welcome to the real world, it’s a thousand times worse than school, you can’t take a sick day just to run away from a test, and above all that you’ve got your career at stake.

You will feel bewildered, lost, clueless, and will wonder what you are doing there.  You will question yourself, your knowledge and skills, your upbringing, and you will definitely have a little bit of inferiority complex to top it off.  In the end, you can use the “smile and nod” technique, play the “strong and silent” role, or chew gum.
Smile, this too shall pass.

The Curse

via Image Writing Prompt #71

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‘You have to get control of your curse before it destroys all of us.’

‘But I don’t want to.’

‘You don’t want to, but why?’

‘I want it to destroy everyone in this world.’

‘You scare me sometimes.  Take the curse back.’

‘NO!’

‘Emma, this is not a joke, this has nothing to do with who you are.  There are many innocent people out there.’

‘Are they really innocent?  Once they realize who I am, what I am, they will all turn against me.’

‘I never turned against you.’

‘You’re different.  You were with me since forever.  You knew me before this all started.   You knew me before I turned all weird.’

‘You’re not weird, you’re special.’

‘Scoff! That’s an understatement.  Special are people who add value, all I do is destroy.’

‘Yes, but you are good for us humans.  You destroy the extras’

‘On what basis?  Just because the government tells me where to go and who to curse doesn’t mean it’s right.  They choose people who are bad in their point of view, but aren’t we all human?’

‘Not this again, Emma.  This is your duty.’

‘I don’t like it.  I never wanted to be a killer.  Do you think anyone dreams of being a killer when they’re young?  I wanted to be an accountant.  Just a boring accountant like my parents but this.. this change happened in me and there’s no way back.  So if there’s no way back there’s only the way forward.  Let me channel this curse and rest my mind, let me rest my conscience and rid myself of the source of all evil.’

‘Who’s the source of all evil?’

‘All humans.  Thank you for being a great friend but it’s time to say goodbye to the world as we know it.  Sometimes the earth has to be burnt to rise again and I believe I was sent to burn.’

She channeled the fire upwards, it cascaded a shadow over the horizon and turned day into night.  People all around were scared, they didn’t know what to do nor what was going on.  It was a normal day for everyone and then suddenly, this happens.  An eclipse of some sort, a damnation.  And then suddenly, fire.

Lasso

Cowboy silhouette

Silhouette

Every once in a while, he rides towards the sun.  He rides to make sure that there are no missing sun rays left on the grass and no star switched off for the night.  He checks that the clouds are tucked in tight and sings a lullaby for the earth to sleep.

He rides to smooth heartbreaks and delivers dreams of a better tomorrow.  He slides them ever so gently under their pillows and plants two gentle kisses on their eyes while they sleep, the taste of their tears forever salty lingers on his lips as he caresses their souls into peace.  He rides until the hooves of his horse become one with the wind.  The view of man and horse turns slowly into a silhouette yearned to be seen yet unlikely to be caught.

And as the horse neighs towards the fireflies, he lassos the moon into heaven and blesses the coming day.

Back To Basics

Dominant

peaceful-warrior

In the midst of the craziness, we lose ourselves.  We get caught up in the urban life and the shine of everything new that we forget who we are, we forget what we are.  We forget our origins: where we started and what we’re doing in this life and once we forget our origins we no longer know where we’re going.

Seriously, who cares what designer bag you hold and what jewels you wear.

Everything builds up on top of ourselves, hiding our true soul away from the mirror.  When you look in the mirror, is it you who looks back?  Is that the same person you remember?  Is this who you wanted to become?

Remove the layers hiding your true identity and focus on your core.  understand that the craziness is entering from every sense in you and take it away.  Remove the excess baggage that hunches your back and release your tension.  Savor your life and utilize your senses the way they were meant to be used.

Taste.  Go back to basics and taste the givings from mother earth.  Look at the colors, reach a point where you can differentiate the shades of the sky and the subtle greenness of the trees.  Listen to “white noise” you so readily purchase off stores and find its source from around you.  Listen to the drops of the water, the laughter of children, and the buzzing of the bees.  Touch everything with the tips of your fingers, sense the difference in texture and imaging yourself blind.  Speak no more, reduce your speech to utter silence and balance your words on your tongue before addressing anyone.  And finally, be here.  Focus your mind into being where you are and breathe.  Breathe out the clutter, breathe the mess, and breathe out the numerous ridiculous choices you have to make and just be.

Reset your senses back to basics, let your soul dominate your body.

Blink- A Mother’s Fear

Blink

blink

Don’t blink or you’ll miss it.  It seems like it was yesterday that I gave birth to my first born and just delivered my second this morning.  It seems like I was holding onto them in the hospital wondering how I can do this, how and when did I become a mom.  Cradling them in my arms and holding on tight in fear that I miss a blink.  Watching their face and lips and fingers and promising that I will always be there.

Then I blinked.

And here I am planning my first boy’s birthday party.  You see, he wants a pirate themed party because at four years of age he can talk and decide.  He comes to me with feelings and ideas and jokes and pranks.  Wasn’t he just my newborn?  Wasn’t I rocking him to sleep and trying to figure out how to put his diaper on?  Wasn’t I scared to give him a bath all by myself and felt that great achievement when I finally summed up the courage?  Where did that baby go?

Then I blinked.

And my second boy was walking and talking.  He’s a funny fellow who imitates everything he sees and loves to dance.  He too has things he likes and he too can decide whether he wants to go out or stay in (he always decides to go out of course.)  Where did my baby go?  Wasn’t I crying for fear of not being there for him, for fear of not giving him the care I gave his brother, the undivided attention and the hours spent alone?  When did he grow up and what did he eat?

And now I am too afraid to blink.

Too afraid to miss a milestone, too afraid to miss out on a smile or a tear.  I am too afraid to be unavailable, to not know what they feel or what they like.  I am too afraid to miss out on the hours of the days that make them happy, too afraid to have someone else influence them.  There’s so much to do and so little time.

How can I schedule music classes, self defense classes, homework, and fun time when they’re older?  It’s all fun time and I barely seem to be holding on to my sanity.  It’s all fun time and I miss them at the end of every single tiring day.

Oh yes, the days are long… sometimes much too long… much too tiresome but in the end they are limited.  Create memories one day at a time and honestly, try not to blink.

Agile

Agile

Broken-Heart

Known to be agile

my mind ran away

leaving me with a mess

of a heartbreak.

Dancing Nymphs

iwp50

via Image Writing Prompt #50

‘Do you think we can drink there?’

‘No I heard it was cursed.’

‘But surely a small sip wouldn’t hurt.’

‘I wouldn’t but I can’t stop you.’

‘If anything happens, tell my mom I love her.’

‘Don’t do it then, Gareth.’

‘I can’t help it, I’m very thirsty.  We’ve been walking for ten days now and we barely had enough water to quench our thirst.’

‘I heard if you drink from it you will be faced with your biggest nightmare.  There’s another stream up ahead, can’t you be patient a bit more?’

‘I’ll try.  I just hear it calling me, like a siren.  Gaaaareeetthhhhh… Gaaaareeetthhhhh… so softly and gently.  Can’t you hear your name?’

Silence…

‘I hear it!!! I hear it calling me too!’

‘Do you think anything that is cursed can be so beautiful?’

‘Yes, let’s try to block out the sound and walk forward.’

The walk towards the lake became harder as the mountain got steeper.  They knew it was best to turn to the left side, to take the road most sane people would take but the call cannot be ignored.  Gareth and Liam heard their names being called over and over again, a sweet Siren singing and waiting for her loved one.  They both were best friends and archaeologists who got onto this adventure in attempt to find out more about a temple built in the 4th Century A.D.  There were numerous rumors about such a temple and the village people all said that they would see the temple rise up to the top of the mountain every forty days.  It was then that they would lay their offerings of fruits, vegetables, meat, and poultry at the bottom of the mountain and initiate a dance of pledges to the Gods of the mountains and the holy temple within.  They also knew that the lake was cursed, and that nobody should drink from it and that when a person does, he is struck with madness.

Gareth and Liam didn’t pay attention to the folk tales and were determined to see the temple rise.  They arrived in Odes just one day after the supposed rise and were waiting anxiously for the days to pass.  They were reluctant, skeptical, and finally hopeful and never gave up.  They started the walk and had no help from Odesians who held onto each other in fear.

The lake was calling them.  They heard their names so clearly as they reached near it and their thirst increased tenfold with the dry air.  It was Liam who saw them first.  Creatures that looked like mermaids splashing in and out of the water with their long hair.

‘Mermaids!’

‘No nymphs, they don’t have tails.’

They decided to hide from sight and watch the magic they were meant to witness.

The sunlight shone directly on a golden rock situated in the middle of the lake.  Each of the nymphs entered the water three times, her skin turning from a subtle yellow to a pink, a blue, and finally to lilac.  She would then sit on the rock and brush her hair with a wooden comb into a side braid tied with a piece of grass.  Finally, she would walk on the water towards the big olive tree and sit down, singing.  It seemed to be a method of cleansing, a baptism of sorts, as each nymph did exactly the same.  When the final nymph took its place and formed a semi circle of beauty, the earth shook and the lake opened.  From within, twelve men wearing white robes marched up stairs that weren’t there before.  They approached the beautiful creatures and each took one in his hand and led her to the wide opening in the trees.

The singing continued and it seemed like it was coming from all around.  The sound of a harp and a flute playing light music.  They started dancing.  Smiles and laughter filled the air and suddenly, they felt themselves rise above ground.  Gareth and Liam smiled at each other in disbelief as the lake with its surroundings rose to the top of the mountain.  They could see the lights of the village below, see the offerings next to the three torches, and were wondering in awe.  It was spectacular.

A few hours of dance, the temple, they realized, started to descend.  The men went back in the lake and the nymphs walked into the dense trees behind them.  All the magic was gone.

‘What was that!?’

‘I don’t know.  Let’s go back and tell everyone’

‘Yes.’

They walked in silence, repeating what they saw and reliving every moment.  They tried to reach conclusions as to why this happens and who are those men but didn’t find the answer.

A few steps towards Odes and all this will be recorded.  Yes, just a few more steps and we will be famous!  Gareth and Liam.

Gaaaaareeeetttthhhhhh…..  Liiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaamm….

‘I don’t want to leave.’

‘Leave what?’

‘here.’

‘What’s here?’

‘hmm.. I don’t know.  Why are we here?’

‘I think we wanted some water.  Let’s not drink from this lake, I heard it’s cursed.’

‘Let’s just go back down, there’s no rising temple.’

‘What a waste of time.’

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Image from https://www.zerochan.net/2104818

The Piano

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via Image Writing Prompt #43

“You never play anymore, you just sit there,” I told my dad one afternoon as the light fell on the black and white keys and his unwavering hands.  He seemed lost in thought as always and kept his eyes fixed on his fingers.  I recalled how the music notes would fill our home from early morning before we were ready to go to school.  It was the sound of the keys and the smell of the coffee that made our home what it was.

And now, the sound ceased to exist.

It was three months ago when my mother passed away so suddenly.  It was a calm night in March when I heard her being rushed down the stairs with my dad.  I came out of my room with my headphones on my shoulders not knowing what was going on.  She had on her light blue robe and was pale as a ghost.  She was holding onto her stomach and screaming from pain and dad was barely able to stand, let alone attend to her.  “Don’t worry hon, I just feel a bit sick but I’ll be back.”  She tried to comfort me sweetly.  I believed her, I always believed my mom.  I never thought she would ever lie to me or ever leave me.

But she did.

There was nothing they could do to stop it.  It was unexpected and so sudden that I would find myself forgetting she was gone, like waking up and expecting to smell the coffee.  My dad couldn’t arrange anything for her funeral so my aunt took the heavy responsibility off our chests.  It was dark, dim, and morbid like any other funeral regardless of the weather.

And to make matters worse, the sound of the piano stopped.  “You never play anymore, you just sit there,” I stated again.

She’s gone.  He whispered, with a tear rolling down his cheek.

Fully Booked

Reservation

reading

She looked up from her book as she heard a person calling , “miss, do you need this chair?”  Her eyes needed a few seconds to readjust and she couldn’t find her voice fast enough so she nodded.  “Thank you,” he said with a quick smile.  He was a handsome man.  She looked at him walking towards his group of friends and tried to figure him out.  What was a person like him doing in a cafe like this at this time?

It was barely 8 a.m. and Beth was used to taking her coffee in the cafe situated at the corner of her flat.  She liked the view and the airiness of the place, in addition to the hospitality of the middle aged owner and her daughter.  It was usually a quiet place, a place where people would walk in, grab a coffee and a bite to go, and leave.  The two tables that were set for dine in guests were seldom busy and it was very odd that this morning the second chair on her table was needed to accommodate a group of four men.

She tried to resume her reading but felt like someone was watching her.  She looked up and she was right: he was watching her from a few feet away and smiled.  She smiled back and unconsciously rubbed her left hand before looking back down at her book blushing.

The words were getting fuzzy, she closed her eyes for a few seconds and tried to refocus.  This was her sanctuary and she wasn’t going to allow anything or anyone to ruin it for her.  She took a sip of her latte and glanced up.  He had a cup in his hand and nodded in her direction.  This is ridiculous, she thought to herself.  He’s just being friendly.

She managed to believe herself and went back to reading.  Time passed by and she could hear the group saying their farewells.  She looked up and saw that he was putting on his suit jacket.  Probably off to work, she thought to herself.

In her mind, she imagined him seated behind a big desk with his grey hair glistening in the sunlight behind him.  His forearms bulging beneath his black suit as he walks across to welcome her into his lair.  Towering over her, she smiles coyly as he puts his arms around her and ushers her in.

“Thank you,” he says pulling her away from her fantasy.  “I read that book, it’s good,” he remarks. “How are you liking it so far?”

“I’m enjoying it very much.” She whispers.

“mind if I join you?  I don’t need to be at work till after lunch.” He asks

She looked at him quietly and sighs, recalling the heartbreak that is yet to heal and the pain her ex-husband caused her.

“I’m sorry, I’m fully booked for this year with myself.  Maybe next year we can catch up.”

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