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Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

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Life Lessons

Little Wonder Boy

mom and son

You know the less fortunate people you see working as cleaners or housemaids or who are sometimes still looking for a job?  Those people who you act like you don’t see and feel a bit awkward when you have eye contact with them? People who are always in front of you but you choose not to see them and you walk past them like they don’t exist? Well, I hate to break it to you but if you close your eyes they will still be there.  They will continue to be part of the reality you choose to ignore.  They are not part of a TV show so you can change the channel, neither are they aliens you can send back to their planet.  They are real.

By now, some readers may have closed the window and others will be skimming through really quickly and remembering something important they suddenly have to do.  Some will just feel bad and look for a charity that basically has nothing to do with poor people and contribute by buying tickets to their expensive dinner where they will “feed the homeless” by serving canapes and a few drinks.

Well, from someone who can speak for the less unfortunate, I would like to say please keep your charity money and your feelings of being superior to yourself.  These people who you consider substandard are a part of a reality you don’t understand.  You are forgetting that they come with hopes, dreams, and families.  Their dreams are similar to yours; I’m pretty sure their dreams are very far from where they stand now.

I am one of those less fortunate people.

My name is George and I grew up in one of the little poor suburbs in India.  My parents got married and when my father found out that my mom was pregnant, he was ecstatic.  Fathers around the world have a funny way of being relentless and anxious when waiting for a baby to be born.  So my mom, who was so tired with the pregnancy for nine months, was relieved when she felt her water break.

I wasn’t born easily. Like some children in the world, I took two days to finally be born.  I was immediately loved and cherished by my mother who quickly said a prayer to ensure that no harm will ever come in my way.  She held me close to her and kissed my forehead, and felt like she was complete.

By the time I was six years old, I had three sisters.  Being the eldest and a boy was the best thing that ever happened to me back home.  I was constantly fretted over, spoiled, and looked up to.  My mother would give me a glass of milk every morning before my sisters and she would pat my back saying I’m a “good boy who can do wonders.”

And that’s what I believed.

I went to school that year and would sit with my friend, Alex, and dream of our future.  I wanted to be a pilot and see the world.  I wanted to wear the uniform and fly the plane.  Alex wanted to be a surgeon.  At that age, we only knew what we were taught so our dreams were very vague.

No-one questions dreams.  They are a private part of your soul.  They consist of what you perceive yourself to currently be and what you want to be.  Sometimes dreams don’t make sense but, who are you to question them? Why were two little boys from the little suburb in India dreaming of becoming pilots and surgeons?

No-one questions.

We grew and our dreams grew.  Our family had some problems when little Gina got infected with a virus.  My father had to sell one goat to be able to afford her medication.  My mother was heartbroken so I would try to comfort her.  She would pat my back and say that I’m a “good boy who can do wonders.”

Gina didn’t survive the infection and I was mad.  If only we had enough money we could have gotten her to the city earlier.  She could have been saved by a great surgeon.  I went to Alex and made him promise that he will be a great surgeon someday and help poor people.  I cried and he promised that he will try his best.

So the next year in school, Alex and I worked harder and got better grades.  We wanted to get scholarships and continue to get our diplomas then maybe we can achieve what we dreamed of.  Alex’s father passed away and he had to leave school to work in the farm.  He was also the eldest child and all responsibilities lay on him.  I didn’t care for my grades anymore, he was the surgeon and I was the pilot who will take him around the world to help patients.  The night Alex’s father died, Alex’s dreams also died.

I graduated from high school.  The “good boy who can do wonders” was finally ready to face the world.  My grades weren’t high enough to continue studying just yet but I was ready to work.  I booked a ticket to go to Mumbai where my uncle will help me look for a job and I was so proud!  My sisters looked at me like their savior; Lana asked me to get her some Gulab Jamun as soon as I get paid and Tatinka asked for some money to get her new shoes.  You see, she always got Lana’s hand-me-down shoes and they were worn out by the time she got them.

I promised them both then went to my mom for her blessings.  She hugged me and gave me a pat on the back, saying how proud she was of her “good boy who can do wonders” and prayed for my safety.  She gave me my packed lunch and waved good bye as my father and I started walking to the bus station.

On the way, my father told me that I should listen to my uncle, that I should trust him fully and he will show me the best way to get to my dreams.  His eyes were teary as he told me how hard life is and how we sometimes need to sacrifice things to live.  He told me how hard it was all these years to afford all the expenses of keeping a family and how hard he worked.  We reached the bus stop and the bus was driving up to us.  I thanked him for his advise, asked for his blessings, and went on my way.

On the bus, I dreamed.  I dreamed of being the best pilot.  Of wearing the uniform, of flying from country to country and meeting different people.  It was the closest I have ever been to my dreams and I could almost taste the happiness of achieving it.

I reached Mumbai and saw my uncle.  It wasn’t what I expected.  Everything was so fast paced and everyone seemed to be in a hurry.  We stayed in a flat with seven other men and would barely have enough space to cook and eat.  I lived in that flat for six months, missing my mother and father, missing Tatinka and  Lana.  But mostly, I missed Alex.  I knew that Alex would find a way to get to our dreams.

But where was Alex?

So by the seventh month, my uncle took me to a recruitment agency.  He told me that there was hope for my employment.  It was a small office with a man sitting behind his table, smoking.  He looked down at me and tapped his fingers on the table while my uncle answered all his questions humbly.

“Is this him?” he asked.

“Yes,” My uncle replied,

“200 rupees”

“Oh, Thank you very much, sir, thank you”

The next thing I knew, I was signing employment papers.  I didn’t quite understand why my uncle had to pay him for my employment.  I can be employed based on my skills and knowledge.  I am, after all, the “good boy who can do wonders.”  I knew I will be employed in a foreign country and my heart skipped a beat: I will finally be in a plane!  I will finally see how a plane flies, and I will meet the pilot.  I was truly getting closer to my dream.

A week later, my uncle took me to my family for a quick visit because I won’t be able to see them for the upcoming two years.  I cried, my mother said she can’t wait to see me again and wanted to get me married as soon as I got back.  Tatinka and Lana made me promise to call them everyday and were envious.  My father looked content.  He told me that I finally understood my duties and he is proud of the man I’ve become.

And before I left, my mom gave me a pat on the back and called me her “good boy who can do wonders.”

I left home with my dreams packed away with my lunch.  I looked forward to this trip all my life.  I thought of Alex who was covered in soil as he wished me farewell.  He said he will try to come along but his mother found him a good wife and he will be wed next month.  I knew he gave up on his dreams when I looked into his sad eyes.

When I reached my destination, I was shocked.  I didn’t meet the pilot.  I was shoved around like a piece of nothingness when I stood in the middle of the airport in awe.  I was screamed at, scolded, and looked down at when I sat down to eat my lunch.  I didn’t know why people were so mean.

And when I got to the country I was employed in, my dreams shattered.

I was apparently employed as a construction worker.  That night I couldn’t sleep in the shared accommodation.  I missed my old life.  I missed when Alex and I dreamed.  Then it hit me.  Everything my father said was true.  He never said I was going to be a pilot.  He never said life was easy.  He never lied.  I just never listened.

It’s ironic how the “good boy who can do wonders” ends up being a construction worker in a faraway country.  It’s ironic how climbing on top of buildings is the closest I will ever get to flying.  I was tired, homesick, and heartbroken.

I cried…

Then I heard a little voice next to me “pssst… are you okay?  What’s your name?”

“George,” I answered

“I’m Jon.  What’s wrong?”

“I never thought I’d work in construction.  I had big dreams for myself.  Didn’t you?”

Jon snickered,” I wanted to be an engineer.  You?”

“Pilot”

The Importance of a List

to do

There are two types of people: people who like using lists, and people who think lists are useless.  I am a person who loves lists.  I love everything about lists: making lists, checking things off my list, and telling people that if you want to plan your life better you need a list.  I 100% believe that lists could save you 80% of your time when done and utilized correctly.

Now, I’m not a list guru, (I give that title to my sister who, without lists, could have lost her mind by now), but I can still give you some pointers on how I use this wonderful tool.

Before I do so, let me give you one exercise you can do which would shine the light on your time management skills.

I once attended a time planning training where the instructor told us that to be able to see where your time is wasted you need to make a schedule of what you are doing for a week.  So basically, you would write down 7:00 – 7:15 a.m. wake up, 7:15 – 8:00 a.m. shower, dress, and get ready, 8:00 – 8:15 a.m. have breakfast and check the news (I wish!!), 8:15 -8:50 a.m. commute to work, and so on.  Of course, we shouldn’t forget to include all those little things that waste our times such as (play candy crush) and (chat on Whatsapp) or (stalk ex-boyfriend on Facebook heeheheh).  So I thought to myself, what an amazing idea! I’ll just do that and eliminate all my wasted time.  After a few days, I started seeing a pattern in my schedule: I waste a lot of time using the phone and not enough time doing anything I love and find significant.  I chose to change my routine and make conscious decision.  So now, when I catch myself doing something wasteful I tell myself make conscious decisions.  I also tell myself Are you really hungry, or are you just bored? But I’ll get to that story another time.

Anyhow, this is the first step:

1- Start by identifying your biggest time wasters and make a conscious decision about changing them.  This would give you a good chunk of time for work.  Schedule in your coffee and lunch breaks and give yourself time to breathe.  When you have that done, look at the number of hours you can work in awe.  This is your canvas.

2- Take a piece of paper (yes I am old fashioned) and write TO DO as a title.  Underline it twice to show yourself that this is a very important document.  Now leave a few lines (basically press enter twice) and write number one.  You can put a dash or a dot, your choice.  Great, you’ve got it so far.

3- Write down the things you need to do everyday at work.  So if  you have to print a specific report, check the cash invoices, file yesterday’s papers, or make specific calls, write those down.  This is your first category: your daily tasks.   These will not change, they are a crucial part of your job description.

4-Next, write down the things you need to do today.  I prefer to have a To Do list done in advance but if you feel like you are living in chaos at work, start with a list.  Write the things that need to be done.  A weekly to do list gives you plenty of time to shuffle the tasks around.

5- At the end of each task, draw a small box that you can check.  Checking the box feels SO good, trust me.  Keep the box.

6- Start working according to your list.  Start with your daily tasks and go on.  How you choose which task to start is your decision.  Some people say you shouldn’t check your email before noon (or whatever golden hour they seem to have researched) but come on!  You can check your email without replying, right?  It’s not like you have the tendency to lose yourself in emails.

7- Review your list.  You can make a daily list or you can have a general list (for people like me who don’t seem to get much done everyday).  For people with projects that take longer, instead of writing (Finalize the report) you can instead write (work on report due on…..) and check the box when you work on it.  The way I review my list is rewrite the things I didn’t complete and totally scratch off things that are done.  This feels better than the little tick.

 

So why are lists important?  Well, lists display what you need to do that day.  They keep you focused on your goal when you feel like life is chaotic.  With lists, you make sure that you don’t forget to do that thing you keep forgetting.  So you will catch yourself less often wondering (what did my boss ask me to do on Monday?)  Lists also service as a cute little motivational pat on the back.  The little ticks show you that you’ve done something.  During those days when you can’t make yourself work and you feel like you’d rather be home in bed, lists offer you some items that CAN be done with minimum effort.  You can choose your tasks and still feel like you’ve achieved something.  Finally, lists are fun to have especially if you categorize them based on your workload.  If you have your list numbered well and you have a bunch of papers you need to go through, your list can be the (cover) of your file with each page numbered.  So item #1 on your list will be the first set of papers, item #2 the second set, and so forth.  This HELPS with people who have a lot of paperwork.

In the end, lists help save your time.  Make conscious decisions, write up a list, and eat because you’re hungry, not bored.  Oh, I’ll get to that another time.  Till then, happy listings.

 

Optimism

glass

Sh%#t happens.  It isn’t a secret to say that life doesn’t always go as planned nor do things always unfold the way you want them to.  Is the glass half empty or half full?  How are you perceiving the current situation?  What are your coping mechanisms to deal with life surprises and curve balls?  Well, the topic is overly discussed that people have reached a point where they would actually question the presence of the glass and would introduce realists into the equation.

Realists, THIS ISN’T THE POINT!!!!  The whole point from talking about the half empty/half full glass is to consider the positive vs. negative point of view and whether you can change that view.

Some people are born with a positive view towards life and try to change situations to fit their liking.  Making the best out of a bad situation is an art in itself.  Turning lemons into lemonade takes persistence and magic (and a lot of creativity and hope.)  I have realized that there are some things that can be done to help be more optimistic in work settings and come up with the following pointers.  The only reason I don’t think it applies to general life and relationships is because they have more emotions

1- when you hear about the situation, breathe.  Take a deep breath, listen to the person informing you of the situation, try not to strangle him, and stop your thoughts.  Just listen.

2- Give yourself a few seconds to freak out.  Swear, curse, scream, just make sure you do it and get it out of your system.  This is the only time you can imagine the worst case scenario, let it motivate you.

3- Assess the current situation.  What is REALLY the issue.  What are you really facing?  Identify your problem and try to do it as objective as possible.  It’s usually not as bad as you think.  Try to focus on the actual situation and not the worst-case scenario you imagined, keep that beast locked up in your imagination.

4- Be creative.  Find ways you can reduce the negative impact.  Do you need to tell your boss?  Can you fix the situation yourself without jeopardizing your job?  Try to dismantle and reassemble the different parts of t he situation.

5- Communicate.  You can have different creative ideas in your mind but you wouldn’t know what would work if you don’t communicate.  Ask.  We usually don’t get what we want because we don’t ask.  Emails should include an actual request to do something, you shouldn’t assume the other party is a mind reader.  Nor is the other party powerless.  You would be surprised that people are usually logical beings, they will understand that the 5000 flashy pink sunglasses you ordered will never be sold and might be able to exchange them for you if you agree to pay for shipment.

6- Accept that there is a price to pay.  Your boss will probably scold you and you might be listening to what a big failure you are for the next coming months but it’s OK.  They will eventually find someone else to badger.

7- Smile and consider yourself lucky you didn’t lose your job.  And if you did, you’ll find a better one.

Turn lemons into lemonade and consider the glass half full.  Life is too short to fret over mishaps at work.  You have your family and your health.  Worst case scenarios are always worst in your head and when it comes down to it, you’ve learned something.

Buying the Perfect Gift

Gift-Box

There are many occasions in our lives when we need to purchase a gift for someone.  Some people are happy to buy gifts and find it easy, whereas others have a really hard time choosing something suitable. Over the course of my life, I realized that gifts are very personal and heart warming items that shine some happiness into a person’s day.  So the question is, how do you buy the perfect gift?

Well, the first thing you need to do is to think.  Think about the person you’re buying the gift for.  Who is it?  What’s the occasion?  What does that person need.  The best gifts are well thought of.  They are gifts which are meaningful and which say, “I got you something you will really appreciate.”

Of course, you need to consider your budget but you can always find something right at any price.

You need to be creative.

These days, people are happy to give out gift vouchers.  It’s the lazy way out.  Once you’ve reached that point in your decision making, stop.  You are not giving it enough thought or effort.  Yes, it’s great when you’re gifting a colleague at work or someone who’s not important in your life, but best gifts are personal.  You can save time with gift vouchers but they will be forgotten as soon as they are used.  Why?  Because you didn’t choose that gift.

Think of the children in your life.  Would they appreciate gift vouchers?  Probably.  But you’ll end up driving them over to the shop and waiting for only God knows how long for them to make a decision.  Whereas you could have saved yourself all this wasted time if you just listened.  Also, you know all those toys they saw?  They wouldn’t miss them if they never saw them.

Listening to a person and knowing what they want and need is the key to a great present.  The best gifts are those which cover a person’s needs.   Now if your husband/wife needs socks, by all means, buy them some just don’t consider socks to be their birthday present.  This type of gift says, “I thought of you and went out of my way to get you this because I know you need it.” Still valid and sweet.

Knowing a person’s passion and hobbies help a lot.  When a colleague at work comes with a new set of earrings every week, you pick up on their passion (or at least liking of) earrings.  Now would it be redundant to get her some earrings.  It depends.  That’s when you should investigate a bit further.

With birthdays, people usually start to look for hints a month in advance.  Wrong.  It’s too late and the person will know you’re investigating.  You should be thinking of the present in advance.  An element of surprise is a great addition to the gift.

Conventional or traditional gifts are sometimes accepted and at other times they are not.  In the beginning of your relationship, a box of chocolates and a dozen roses are a great gift.  Years into your marriage, your wife probably expects more because you know her and this is also the lazy way out.  Deeper relationships require deeper thought.

So let’s recap and continue.

1- Gifts should be personal, well thought of, creative, and satisfies a need or want.

2- Stay away from gift certificates to sustain a more personalized touch to your gift

3- Investigate in advance.  Do your homework when looking for ideas and don’t blow your cover.

4- Hobbies and passions are a great place to consider when thinking of gifts

5- An element of surprise is a great addition to the gift

6- More serious relationships require deeper thought.  Traditional gifts are alright for a certain time only.

When they say it’s the thought that counts when it comes to gifts, it really is the THOUGHT that counts. When a person knows you well enough to buy you a present that blows you away, hold onto that person.  People who don’t put an effort need to be reminded that gifts rekindle relationships and shine through our days.

Don’t forget to have the gift wrapped and don’t forget to write something meaningful in a card.

Memories stay true when accompanied by words.

Surprise someone you love, buy them something thoughtful.

Summer of ’79

 

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It was evident that her weight wouldn’t help her merge with her school friends.  During the summer vacation between the 9th and 10th grade, she started to skip meals, count calories, and live on the scale.  Her attitude was the worst: she never listened, stopped having fun, and didn’t want to spend time with her family.  She wanted to be like the models in magazines.  She wanted to lose weight so that they would stop calling her ‘chubby Chloe’ in school.  She knew that she only needed to lose five to ten kilos and she would be perfect.

What is perfection?

She exercised and reduced her food intake to the minimum but the results weren’t evident.  Her weight loss wasn’t fast enough.  She only had two months to get in shape so she obsessed and started to lock herself in the bathroom after every meal just to get rid of it.  Her throat was sore but she didn’t care.  All that mattered was her image, her career as a teenage model, and how well she fits in school.  She lost weight but couldn’t see it; she only sees “chubby Chloe” looking back at her.

By mid summer she was taken to the hospital after her organs gave up. By the end of summer, she was able to sit up straight in the bed and take a few steps.  By December, it was evident that she learned her lesson.  In school, she wasn’t called ‘chubby Chloe’ anymore, she was ‘bulimic-Chloe’

Grey and Grey

greys-anatomy      fifty-shades-of-grey

For those of you who are still faithfully watching Grey’s Anatomy and caught last night’s episode I am as shocked as you are.  How?  Why?  Who?  Seriously?!?!   11 years of great episodes, ups and downs, airplane crashes, patients, Neuro-surgeries, debates, heartaches, and losses, we are faced with this? Sigh.  The story goes as the story goes, do not question the author.

Although some things in Grey’s Anatomy are far-fetched and aren’t very realistic (such as the cloned cancer Meredith took home with her), it’s still a fairly reasonable series to follow.  It seems like it won’t last much longer but we can always watch reruns.  Come on, we had the same feeling of utter loss when Friends was over so we need to prepare ourselves.  We can always live on reruns.

Meanwhile, keep Thursday nights for your TV shows and the rest of your week for reading.  Grey’s Anatomy shook us for the past 11 years and another type of Grey shook the world: 50 Shades of Grey.

So here I am, a couple of years ago, walking naively in what I believe to be the Virgin Mega-stores in Dubai when I see piles of beautifully stacked books.  I walk up to the pile and, out of curiosity, pick it up: 50 Shades of Grey.  Hmmm… Interesting.  I think I had a mental link to Grey’s Anatomy and assumed it was good.  The way it was marketed around the bookstore was ridiculous!  They must have had at least 20 piles of 30 books each AT LEAST!  The author apparently signed a GREAT publishing deal and the marketing team did a great job to encourage people to buy it.

Mental note to self: do not judge a book by its cover or by the way it’s being displayed.

Let me be clear about something, I don’t read the back cover unless it’s REALLY necessary but since it seemed like a great book, I decided the front cover was enough regardless of the fact that it was fairly ambiguous.  The image of the tie was honestly very intriguing and it seemed like a nice little romance, it seemed to be the “it” book of the season.  Therefore, being the very fashion forward person I am, I bought it.

Fast forward: a few months after being piled up in my “to read” pile, I talk about it to one of my friends who tells me that it’s basically a dirty little book.  Everything she said was news to me.  I was like a five year old being told that Santa didn’t exist and couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I had flashbacks to the book store and how I looked to make sure people saw me buy the fashionable book, then I had a flashback to flipping the book over and thinking I won’t read it because it would ruin everything.  Ah the many times I could have said NO.  The many times I could have saved that money.  And the way I felt about being a blind follower was just painful  Then it hit me, what if I READ it!!!   What if I started reading it and the confusion grew with every page?  That would have been something!

So what did I learn from this incident?

1- Not every Grey is good, some Grey is bad

2- If you have a bad book, you’re stuck with it forever because you don’t want to seem tasteless for giving it to someone else.  Hence, the book will stay in your shelf until one of your grandchildren finds it and will assume you had a weird life.

3- Spoilers are better than wasted time and money.  Read the back cover of the book.

4- Don’t buy a book because it’s in fashion, but a book that you will enjoy and is worth buying even if you have to spend time choosing it.

5- Listen to your friends, they usually have something important to say.

New Year Resolutions should be SMART

smart-goals

Everyone has a boost in motivation when writing their New Year resolutions and, honestly, why not?  It’s a great time to start something since everyone else is doing it.  It’s usually the time when people are very optimistic about the 365 days coming up they feel that they can do anything, everything, the thing they never got around to, and thing they vowed will be done, and the thing they will probably stop doing in a few months.

Now why is that?

Well, beginnings are always hopeful.  The start of a new job, the start of a new relationship, the start of a new goal, and so on.  The problem is the start is usually where we make mistakes.

When setting goals, you should make sure that they should be SMART goals.  I’m sure many of you know the concept of SMART goals in work but, as a reminder, goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.  We apply SMART goals in our jobs and it honestly travels well into our lives.

Now let’s take the classic example of losing weight.  The usual resolution is “lose weight” or some more specific version such as “lose five kilos this year”.  Alright the second one is a bit better but the goal is so vague Future-You would look for (and find) the loop holes.  Future-You would say “well, I lost a kilo so I’m alright” NO!  You’re NOT alright,  you must be stronger than Future-You.  You must be SMARTer 😉

S- Lose five kilograms

M- measurable with a weighing scale

A- it is most probably attainable

R- yes it’s relevant as it has to do with your weight

T- by June 30, 2015.

(Motivation: one slice of chocolate cake- this addition would help keep your eye on the goal.  But internal motivators should be used for better results).

Aha.  Now you can apply the same method to your other goals.

Challenge yourself, set your goals and make sure to keep milestones that would keep your motivation up.  It helps when you can see the end that’s why 30 day challenges work well.  For writers who plan to write a book, milestones can be the chapters written or reviewed.  For photographers, milestones can be a certain number of pictures taken and shared or sold, and so on.

Identify the goal so you can keep it right in front of you.  Identify your goal and work towards it.  Identify your goal and reward yourself when you reach.  Pat yourself on the back and be proud.

Stop giving yourself excuses, start somewhere SMART.

Gentlemen Required

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We all fell in love with Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice because he was, in one word, a gentleman.  He was a chivalrous, courteous, and honorable man. (Oxford Dictionary).  Being wealthy isn’t such a bad addition to the mix.

As a teenager, I, like all other teenage girls, would be attracted to the Bad-Boy.  Interestingly, teenagers of this generation are attracted to vampires but we’re not getting to that today.  The guy on a motorbike, the guy who doesn’t care about rules, and the guy who would eventually break your heart.

Wake up girls, when you want to get into a serious relationship and start a family, find a Mr. Darcy.  Find a gentleman who would respect you and your ideas but will be happy to open the door for you.  Find someone who would help you with your chores, who would fill your car with gas and check the tires because it’s just thoughtful.  Someone who would be there for you and who would be more than happy to spoil you.

I’m not saying women should stay at home and have someone do everything for them, all I’m saying is that these days women are too self-dependent.  We depend on ourselves without thinking of the consequences it has on our stress levels  We need help.  It’s OK, we can ask for help.

Asking won’t kill us.

Most Victorian-era and honestly any-era romances shine light on the wooing part of the relationship Where the lady acts all coy and the gentleman tries his best to get her approval.  This is very similar in the real world. When dating, guys would usually do everything they can to never forget your birthday and to act like gentlemen.

Now how can you distinguish between a fake and a genuine Mr. Darcy?  I’m not sure.  It’s just having one around would help balance the scales in your life so you can live happily.

We need more Mr. Darcys in our lives.  Chivalrous, courteous, and honorable men.

For those who are interested, this article is called How to find a modern day Mr. Darcy http://www.wikihow.com/Find-a-Modern-Day-Mr.-Darcy 

April’s fool

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“Dinna laugh, dinna smile. Hunt the gowk another mile.”

The traditional April fool’s prank in the United kingdom specifically in Scotland and Ireland was to send a person with a closed letter to someone asking for help.  The person receiving the letter would read the above and send the gawk, a cuckoo or a fool, to another person who would allegedly be able to help.  This would take a few trips to different people until the fool finally realizes he is being pranked, and I doubt he would be feeling too pleased with himself.

So the question is why specify one day to play pranks or hoaxes on people? Why is there immense happiness when a person plans, lies, and laughs at an innocent? Is it a day when honesty can be put on hold? Would that mean people would not be hurt or embarrassed?

In addition to April’s fool day, can we have May’s truth day per se? Can we have an honest day where people tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth ALL DAY? Seems like a stretch for a good idea to pick up, maybe I should have brought it up in a previous life when I was an English noblewoman.  In court, where the duke would think it’s a hilarious idea and impose it.  Then the trend catches on and, voila! “May’s Truth Day”. It would make sense to have it in March at the beginning of spring when flowers bloom and truths unfold. Not a bad idea.

Back to reality.

People are attracted to the forbidden; the hype of being a trickster, the ability to outsmart a person and the satisfaction of it being a success year after year just trumps all truths out there.

It is not the courageous who lie, it is the courageous who tell the truth.

Dinna laugh, dinna smile. Say the truth right to my eye.

I dare you…

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