Life Lessons

Financial Independence

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The best things in life are free, but when you are in a situation where you have no source of income, you wouldn’t be able to eat the beautiful flowers covering the garden nor could you trade in beautiful sunny days for rent. You are stuck with the decisions you made throughout your career and a bunch of overdue bills. Now what can you do?

Well, one important fact to constantly keep in your mind is that there are many things that happen in the outside world which affect people. Recall the PESTLE analysis which shines light on different areas that can affect businesses. It puts a lot of things in perspective when you consider a slight technological advancement could cost you your job, maybe we should consider bribing scientists to get inside information and be prepared to jump ship beforehand.

Remember the economic crisis in 2008 and the number of people who were unemployed overnight? Bankers who were able to afford huge houses and annual trips with their families were suddenly out of jobs. This is my question to you: are you financially stable enough to survive unemployment tomorrow? How long can you survive without income?

How can you make sure that your contract is not ended abruptly while you sip your coffee one morning? You can’t because sometimes terminations occur for a variety of reasons. So what’s the plan?

Be prepared at all times.

1- Enter the job market early. I am not against college education, on the contrary I vouch for education but if you were given the opportunity to work, work. At 19 years old, you do not have a lot of responsibilities and if you can study and work at the same time you should do it. This gives you an edge over many of your classmates who are studying as you are getting real life experience. This experience helps in your studies also since you will be able to bring real examples from work back to your classroom. Also, any source of income gives you financial independence at an earlier time (and you will be able to retire sooner if you wish)

2- Know your consumption and expenses well: you cannot save money without knowing where it all goes. For one month keep track of all your expenses. Are you using up 10% of your income on coffee? Are you spending 30% on fine dining? Where does the money go? You can have a simple excel sheet or a free mobile app that keeps track of your expenses. Alternatively, keep all your bills in one place and review them at the end of the month. When you realize that you are spending money on things that don’t matter, you will finally shine a bit of light in your sleeping consciousness.

3- Plan a budget: Think of where you want to spend your income and start with paying yourself now. Keep a specific amount monthly as savings for your future. You could open a different savings bank account and immediately pay yourself as soon as you receive your salary. This retirement/emergency fund would be very useful in cases of sudden unemployment.

4- Do not get into debt- by debt I mean credit cards and personal loans. If you can’t afford it on your income why stress your budget and stretch it to its limit? If you have a credit card, pay it off on time and try to get rid of it. The feeling of freedom.

5- Do not buy what you can’t afford- no you don’t need that Fendi bag

6- Think of spending as an investment- what if I need to sell this later on, would I be able to regain some or most of its value

7- Keep your change- you’d be surprised how much money you can save by saving your change everyday. Keep a small basket next to the door of your home and keep all change inside. Encourage your significant other to do the same.

8- Shop smarter- look for bargains, go out of your way to get to the better priced shop, and when always keep a shopping list that would help keep you in check with your actual needs.

10- Eat from home- the margins restaurants have on food is immense. A simple sandwich from home can save you a lot of money especially if you buy your lunch everyday. Eat out less: treating yourself to a dining experience is great if you have the money but why waste it?

11- Prioritize your values and spend accordingly

12- Unless it’s urgent, sleep on it. Give yourself one night to think of it and maybe, just maybe, you might change your mind. You could also realize that the feeling of needing the item will definitely diminish strongly and you will be able to see the actual importance (or lack of) of the item. Yes, a cute black dress is amazing at this price but do you really need it when you don’t go out?

14- Look for offers and coupons. It’s not a trick nor a conspiracy to buy more, its just a promotion technique that you can benefit from if you think of it wisely. Why is the promotion put and what can you benefit from it?

15- Learn to share and split the cost. Share your ride to work, your vacation trip, or anything. This is not you being stingy, this is you being smart.

16- Pass on the knowledge- teach your kids early how to be smarter financially.

Take control of your income and expenses, do not let your emotions drive you into oblivion and bankruptcy. Think before you take your wallet out and don’t get pulled in by fashionistas who are eager to cheer you on. Remember, they are just doing their job and yours is to take care of your future.

May 26, 2016 0

The Dark Side of Leadership

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There are many studies today that show the difference between a “boss” and a “leader.” What we see portrayed is the fact that being a boss is a bad thing whereas being a leader is a good thing. A leader is always portrayed as someone who is willing to take part in the tasks, shows his followers how to do things (versus just ordering them into doing them), and the cheerleader for the team. What is not portrayed much is the dark side of leadership.

People are not machines. They contain many emotions, biases, and predispositions. So when a person is given the role of a leader, it does not make them immediately correct in everything they say and do. The problem is, many leaders think that with their new roles and duties, they are suddenly invincible. So how can we make sure not to get sucked into being the next Hitler? How can we make sure that we have followers who are continuously questioning our thinking and making us grow instead of stay in one place? The human’s natural thirst for power and drunkenness can make it a sweet sweet place to be but, if you are in a position where you are not questioned, then only you can question yourself.

The Johari Window as seen below illustrates our relationships with others and ourselves. A quick explanation of the 4 windows:

1- Arena: Things that are known to you and known to others. These are the obvious traits that people see and that you identify as part of yourself

2- Facade: Things that are known to you but not known to others; they are covered by a mask (or a facade) of other traits

3- Blind spot: Things that people see but you don’t see in yourself. Now, many people are probably thinking of their bosses and laughing now. Don’t forget that this is about you, not your bosses.

4- Unknown: Traits that neither you nor others know. This may seem evident later on and could be a good surprise.

The whole purpose of knowing that there is a blind spot is to accept that you can get to know yourself better. 360 degree performance evaluations could help shine light on this blind spot, making it smaller. In the end, don’t we want to get to know ourselves better?

The first step towards change is the willingness to change. Do we really accept and want to take part in getting to know ourselves or are we too scared to see what is hidden? Joseph Conrad’s final judgment in The Heart of Darkness was “the horror, the horror”. Are we too scared to face the horror that lives within?

Now, this is a quick list of some difficult leaders just to make sure if you are of one type or are dealing with one:

1- The micro-manager: This is pretty straight forward. The micro manager makes sure to oversee every single little minute detail of every single little minute project. Why? Because they are probably egotistical perfectionists who think no-one can do the job the way they want it to be done. Now, imagine if your mother micro managed you while you were getting your homework done. Would you have learned anything? No. What better way to teach people than to allow them to experience and make mistakes. To all micro managers out there: you are giving yourself a hard time and over complicating your job. Learn to delegate and overlook variances in the outcome your subordinates submit. Try to be a “teacher” and teach.

A few years ago, I had a specific method of filing, hole punching, and stapling papers. In my micro-managerial mind, it didn’t take a scientist to know that all papers had to gently folded in the middle to ensure that the hole punch is correct. The staple had to be on the top left side almost 1/4 of an inch from the top. I never talked about it to my assistant and one beautiful morning, I was presented with a bunch of papers with the staple in the top middle. WHY? How am I supposed to read the document? Can you imagine? If you can’t please go ahead and staple some papers and give me your feedback. What I learned from this is (no, I will not overlook this very important matter) during the interviews I ask the candidate to demonstrate how to punch and staple some papers together. Win-win situation!

2- The procrastinator: A manager who will do things eventually. This, my dear friends, could be a blessing in disguise. How so? You don’t need to do anything and when your manager asks, throw the ball in their court and wait for a decision that will never be made. I’m not a procrastinator so I don’t have any anecdote to serve as an example. In my opinion, get things done in advance, try to stick to a schedule, and meet with your manager regularly to get your next task assigned. Make sure that you are doing your job because, who knows, maybe you will end up being promoted into your manager’s job!

3- The idiot: Honestly this could just be your point of view. Some managers get promoted for a variety of reasons, most could be office politics. You could be working for someone who seemingly doesn’t know what’s going on but this can also be played to your advantage. Befriend your manager and maybe, just maybe, you could find out what qualities he has. Don’t look too hard, sometimes there’s nothing inside. Hello!

4- The dictator: The basic dictator who likes to do things his own way. Hopefully you are not being asked to do something wrong or illegal but when someone really cares about the job, that’s when it hurts. What’s worse is when the dictator is also an idiot. Ah, this, my friend, is an indicator to look for another job because in the end, people don’t leave companies, they leave managers.

5- The abuser: the abuser needs to know that it’s not alright to abuse. Chandler’s boss in the clip below is using his power as a manager to praise his employees in a not so polite way. Yes, it seems funny but this is a manager who has crossed over to the dark side of leadership. You are given the power but you are not supposed to abuse it.

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Friends- Chandler and his boss

Now, normal people with emotions and feelings and with limited years of experience could be put in a situation where their temper could spiral out of control. For example, a very nice manager I know was in a disciplinary meeting with a few employees trying to figure out something about someone (she doesn’t even remember what the meeting was about). She was getting opposing facts, people pointing fingers at one another, and sheer chaos. After listening patiently for ten minutes (patience isn’t one of her strengths) she decided to pass out warning letters to everyone just to flex her muscles. Now she’s not a very big person and her employees were older men and women so they probably saw her as an “idiot”. She quickly and angrily jotted down the points on a piece of paper and asked them to sign them. The first two employees signed without saying anything and the third just refused. He just said no and started to walk away. We have a saying in Arabic that means if you can’t reach something with your hand, reach for it with your leg. No hand nor foot would have reached the employee quick enough, and to our surprise, a quick throw of the pencil hit him on his leg. No he wasn’t hurt but seriously, it is NOT ALRIGHT TO THROW PENCILS AT YOUR EMPLOYEES!

Being leaders come with great responsibility. Try to get to know yourself better, be open to criticism, obtain an open door policy, get to know your own strengths and weaknesses, try to grow your knowledge. Being a leader is not a ticket to make people run your errands nor is it a way to start your own cult for the sake of your ego. Do not be sucked into the dark side of leadership.

April 23, 2016 0

Live a little-Put Your Phone Away

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Mobile phones are becoming a continuation of our bodies. They are forever glued to our hands and our eyes are always diverted towards the screen. Is it the fact that these smart gadgets are opening new realms and worlds through the net or are we just choosing to live our lives away from everyone? What amazing functionality have these mobile phones given us that they are taking over our thinking and daily relationships?

Let’s take the example of the calculator in the smart phone. Now for people who have I-phones you can imagine how easy it it to access the calculator and find out the answer you’re looking for, whether it’s 40 x 2 or 76213 x 761. It wouldn’t matter what the mathematical problem is, you are used to using the calculator on your phone that you have become dependent on it. I’m not sure whether or not school students today are required to actually use their brains to multiply, divide, add, and subtract or are they allowed to use their smart phones to help assist with these problems that, honestly, can be done in a shorter time period. Whether or not the development of their brains would be affected, I cannot say, I hope someone would actually conduct a study and we can find out 20 years from now how math actually helps/does not help us at all.

We used to have our friends’ phone numbers memorized, how many numbers do you know by heart? It’s so much easier to get your gadget (go-go-gadget) and press the name without even acknowledging that there’s a number stored or even realizing that if you’re put in a situation with a public phone you would have no idea what number to call (given that your phone’s battery is dead).

I am not against smart phones, I understand that they are helpful devices that can make our lives easier. An example of a great application is the maps that helps you get your location and find out how to get somewhere. Here conspiracy theorists will be glad to inform me of the dangers of smart phones and location services, having Big Brother watch, listen, and know where we are all the time. I doubt Big Brother cares where I buy my groceries, honestly, or when I talk about my day at work. Big Brother can probably listen to more important and interesting conversations that mine. 🙂

Relationships nowadays are being affected by the constant use of smart phones. When you’re with your mom, dad, husband/wife, sister, brother, and child, please have the decency to put the phone away. You do not need to see the latest trends nor do you need to hear the latest joke sent on your Whatsapp. You do not need to read the latest news about your favorite star nor do you need to look through the Instagram pictures of food, how to lose weight, latest fashion trends, or the bombardment of advertisements that just waste time. And no, you do not need to hear every single snap from our fellow bloggers; their lives only seems interesting because this is the part of their lives that they choose to show you.

So instead of watching other people’s lives, try living yours. Stop comparing your days to that of others, you don’t need to eat out everyday nor do you need to take pictures of your dinner if it’s just fish and chips. You do not need to hang on every single word coming from strangers because it’s not important. Think: what is important? Will I DIE if I miss out on today’s Snapchat? Is it your choice to watch someone’s day instead of living yours? What kind of relationship will we have with our friends and family if we are too busy to listen? How often have you put the phone down, kept it on silent, or stashed it away for a couple of hours just to spend time with others?

What matters most?

Who matters most?

Use your senses. Use your eyes to capture memories, you have enough pictures already. Live in the moment and cherish it in your heart. Be there for your child when he/she speaks to you; give them your undivided attention because they’re worth it. What use would pictures be when you’ve spent the last few years of your life using the smart phone instead of talking to your sick parent? What use would it be if you weren’t really there to hold their hands and look into their eyes? What use would it be if you aren’t saving and hanging onto every word they say? What use would it be if your husband/wife feels neglected because you choose to play your candy crush game before going to bed every night instead of talking about your fears and dreams while you hold each other?

Use your senses. Use your brains, accept your feelings, live your life and enjoy it.

What matters most? Who matters most?

April 9, 2016 0

Losing weight is a choice: stop ordering caramel Frappuccino

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This post is not targeted towards people who have a medical issue with weight, it is targeting people who have the ability to lose weight but are simply not doing so. I am in no way a nutritionist nor do I claim to have any medical background where I am getting my information. I am merely pointing out some things that I have seen and dealt with over the years. Please do not expect me to be a size 0 model either. “And don’t forget… I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her”- Notting Hill.

When it comes to weight, we all have our ups and downs. It all starts when we are first introduced to the weighing scale. “Hello, I am here to make your life miserable.” We start counting calories, buying magazines that have different diets suitable for the growing teenage girl (or boy), sometimes go to drastic measures of living on tic-tac’s for a while and all for what? To stop a bulging belly which, in fact, is just baby fat.

It really doesn’t matter what body shape you are blessed with, all that matters is that you are healthy and capable of exercising. You see, this is where the magic starts. Once an exercise routine is put in place at a young age, it usually sticks for life.

Have you ever wondered why kids put on weight once they get to college? It’s not just the junk they are so happily gulping down, it is the fact that PE classes no longer exist. Waking up at 5 a.m. no longer exists and walking from class to class no longer exist. We turn lazy and love the fact that we can sleep late at night and no one would care to wake us up to go to school because our parents, of course, don’t know our schedules and expect that we are adults.

You see those golden years filled with pizza? This is when it all matters. This is when you should pay attention to your weight because it all goes downhill from here. I’m glad college athletes get to work out and exercise because many other nerds, I mean people, can’t seem to find the time, regardless of the reason.

Then guess what comes after college… life.

Work: a place where you sitting at a sedentary position for eight hours. It doesn’t stop here, the cycle continues. For women who get married, they can’t get into their wedding dress after a year of marriage and why is that? Because we choose to be lazy. Some stop making an effort and others are blessed with pregnancy and child birth. Of course with kids the excuse of no time comes to place, and the years go by and the kilos go on.

A friend of mine decided to lose weight a few months ago. She was trying her best, talking to me about how important it is to lose weight and what it would mean to her. I thought to myself that she must be working hard and her efforts are paying off, right?

Wrong. She always had a reason not to start. There was always an excuse, a time constraint, a something… and a caramel frappuccino. A daily double caramel frappuccino including the whipped cream, the caramel in the cup and over the top, the full fat milk, and the smile from the barista. You see, when that nice looking barista in Starbucks asks if you want to add a slice of chocolate-loving cake run: run far far away! Do you think she can’t say (small, medium, and large) when it comes to drink sizes? Why do you think she has to over complicate things by calling them tall, grande, and I don’t ever remember the 3rd size. It’s all in the training to make you (and me) buy the bigger size and gain weight. She’s in on the conspiracy to make us fat.

Didn’t you ever wonder why healthy restaurants never asked if you wanted to up-size your salad? Didn’t you ever wonder why they never tried to sell you an apple with your fresh orange juice? They want us all to get fat.

So what’s the plan? These are a few steps that could actually work:

1- DECIDE: Make the decision to lose weight TODAY. Decide and keep in your mind that you will no longer accept any excuse.

2- THROW AWAY THE JUNK: Give away all junk food you have around your house and DO NOT BUY MORE JUNK. If you don’t have a bag of crisps in the cupboard you will not eat it. Instead, you can substitute with healthy snacks such as dried fruits and popcorn which is actually good for your health and heart (thumbs up).

3- Exercise: There is no running away from this point. You cannot lose weight without burning it. Find something you like to do and do it. Find an exercise partner if you want or get some exercises done anywhere around the house. You don’t need to join the gym and you don’t need the top notch equipment. Surprise your body in the middle of the day and squat, for example. Use the stairs, park your car further than usual, dance with your children. In general, move your body and try to burn as many calories as you can.

4- Before you eat anything, THINK: Ask yourself, “am I hungry or am I just bored?” Do you know that many people eat because they are bored! Also, when you are face to face with your favorite dessert, be strong and say, ‘I am stronger than you.’

5- EAT HEALTHY: eat healthy foods. Add fruits and vegetables to your diet, have brown bread and rice instead of white, do not eat fried food, stay away from junk food.

6- LOOK INSIDE FOR MOTIVATION: You will not find someone who is cheering you on more than yourself. Don’t expect people to leave their life to cheer you on. This is on you and for you. Don’t look for quick fixes, there are none. Make sure that you will benefit first and foremost. Reward yourself.

In conclusion, if you want to lose weight, make sure that you understand that it’s hard work. It takes commitment and time. Don’t expect it to be an easy pill that you can take and have the weight shed off you over night (wouldn’t that be great, though). It takes persistence. It’s not easy, we are not in an age where our food gets burnt easily so bear with your body. You are working with your body to achieve a better you. Partner up with yourself, have small goals you want to achieve and reward yourself.

Stop eating junk and you will feel better. Stop adding salt and sugar recklessly to your meals and please, please, please, stop ordering caramel frappuccino.

March 28, 2016 0

Words

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You do not know the strength of words until you have heard a few things that really affected you deep inside. It is very rare that you meet people who actually think before they speak and you wonder whether or not they are actually using their brains. Words coming from people you barely know really don’t affect as much as words coming from people you very well cherish.

Let’s say, for example, that you put on some weight. You go to work and a silly male coworker who is known to have constant word-vomit comes to you and says, “are you pregnant or are you just fat?” You could very easily ignore it and never think of it again. If you were in the same situation with one of your close friends who says something less obscene such as, “you’re packing on some weight, aren’t you,” you would probably take it to heart. Why is that? Do you not expect to hear the truth from your friend or should she have known better.

And you know what’s worse? Mothers. I think it’s because we know that mothers are telling the truth so if they see a mistake in us and they can’t love us as we are then, who will?!

The reason I wrote this today isn’t to discuss whether you should or shouldn’t say the truth or how to give your opinion without hurting the recipient, it’s because I was put in a situation with someone I barely knew and she answered me in a very respectable manner I had to compare her with my once-close-friend who basically broke my heart the last time we spoke.

Alright so years ago, when we were still trying to figure out who we were and who we wanted to keep as friends and were going through different phases in our life, I had a close friend who I cared for very much. To this day, I don’t know what falling out happened between us but we started drifting apart. Before I realized that she no longer wished we were friends, I would call her every once in a while and see how things were. She didn’t really put an effort into maintaining our friendship and apparently had other things on her plate. So one day, my phone rings and it was her. I pick up

Me: hello

Friend: Hello? Who’s this?

Me: Hi friend’s name. How are you

Friend: Oh sorry I called by mistake, bye.

Me: bye?

And that was literally the last thing I heard from her. I sometimes wonder to this day why she didn’t have the decency to carry on the phone conversation for a few minutes and act like she really called me to ask how I was doing. I replayed the conversation with so many alternatives and couldn’t understand why she didn’t taste her words before spitting them out. It made no sense and I never called her back.

Yesterday I got a missed call from an acquaintance. Someone I saw twice in my life and who seemed like a respectable woman. I couldn’t find the time to call her back yesterday so I chose to call her back today when the time was right. This was the type of relationship I had with her, one that I have to wonder if the time was right to call. The conversation went as follows:

Me: Hello

Acquaintance: Hello, Bedoor

Me: How are you doing Mrs. X. I got a missed call from you yesterday and just had the chance to call back

Acquaintance: I think I may have called you by mistake. But it’s a great opportunity to hear your voice

Me: It’s alright

Acquaintance: (something along the lines of may we always meet in goodness).

Me: Hopefully. Thank you, bye.

Now THAT’s a respectable woman. After all these years, I stand by my thinking that my friend could have handled the situation differently.

Words can build sky scrapers and move mountains, words can destroy confidence and personalities, and words can definitely be thought of before being blurted out.

Think before you speak.

March 10, 2016 0

Fashion Forward or Backward?

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Image found on http://kikiochii.deviantart.com/art/Fashion-Sketches-1-4-134403761

At a certain age, we are all sucked into the idea of fashion and what is fashionable vs. what is not. I remember my first interaction with fashion was in the 7th grade when bell-bottoms were a hit. I had to beg my mother to get me a pair of, interestingly, cotton bell-bottoms and I was so happy wearing them on the free dress day in school. Back then, I didn’t get what was fashionable through the internet but through girls at school who probably got their fashion ideas from their parents or other sources such as magazines. At then, I never questioned the “in” girls, I just wanted to be “in”.

Or basically, not be “out”.

The next fashion statement we had in school were the Docs: Dr. Martens shoes. For those of you who don’t know what those shoes are, you can google them online and imagine little girls and boys wearing the boots version to school in very hot weather. It wasn’t the prettiest sight but no-one questioned fashion. In addition, they cost a lot of money but who was I to question them?

We grew older and realized that the “in” girls and boys weren’t as “cool” or “hot” or whatever word in currently used by this generation to show how hip a person is. I started not caring when they were wearing skirts instead of the boring serious uniform pants I chose because I started realizing who I was. By the way, even books were in or out of fashion so at that stage everyone was the same which really isn’t what school should be about.

Now this makes me wonder why our teachers weren’t so keen at making us understand that individualism was important and that each and every one of us is unique in a certain way? Aren’t teachers supposed to be our mentors who would guide us into understanding life better? What about our volleyball/basketball/soccer coaches? Weren’t they supposed to be closer? What about the counselor? Shouldn’t he/she help us go through the difficult time when we were all lost teenagers?

Well, I stayed away from fashion and the cabbage patch dolls and chose to pursue other matters. I realized that it doesn’t really matter what you wear as long as you’re fine with it and accepting it. You won’t see me wearing something out of this world but I can say that I have always dressed decently to never look back at a photo and cringe.

You know those photos, don’t you? The ones where you want to scream at your younger self “what are you thinking?!?!” Well, I do have some pictures with black lipstick but never again will I make that mistake.

Benjamin Franklin said, “eat what you like, but dress for other people.” I completely agree if people are normal and don’t come up with insane ideas. This will probably get me hated by many fashionistas who make a living by trying on, checking out, assessing, blogging (seriously I don’t know what they do but I’m sure it’s important because who am I to disrespect their work). Alright, yes fashion designers come up with some insane ideas sometimes but I think it’s society and the “in” girls who make it a trend.

Who is today’s fashion icon?

For example, a few years ago eyebrows were ridiculously thin that you could draw them using the eyebrow pencil. Next, eyebrows were cut in half where the outside half would be removed because, apparently, girls only need half an eyebrow. This was the “Chinese eyebrow” phase. Nowadays, eyebrows are thick but shapely. Interesting what people do to waste their time.

How much blusher is just enough? What’s up with the makeup contouring nowadays, we never had a problem with how our faces looked without it all those years, so why do we need to look sculpted all of a sudden?

Now comes the serious part. If you were invited to a birthday party with people you know are better dressed or more fashionably dressed than you, accessorizing and making sure all their bling was evident to the eyes of the beholder, and you were a mere guest, would you have the guts to dress the way you want? In our society, many women are covered so if you were a covered woman and were invited to a party with uncovered women (which is very normal), would you be expected to change the way you dress?

And do you allow fashion to take up a lot of your time? If so, why? Does it really matter what you wear or how happy you really are? Where is YOUR point on the spectrum of fashionable-unfashionable? Where are you content with yourself and not ridiculed by others. Image is important, but how important is it?

March 4, 2016 0

Stamp Of Approval

The man gets out of bed in the morning, gets into the shower, gets dressed, grabs breakfast, and gets himself to work. On the way, he wakes up from his sleep and realizes that he was operating on auto-pilot for the first hour in his day which makes him chuckle. He hates his morning routine and wishes sometimes that he didn’t have to get home every night. He would never operate without his senses at work, he doesn’t want to! A big grin spreads across his face as he looks forward to getting into the office and grabbing these never-ending problems by the horns! He recalls the difficult decisions he has to make and his heart skips a beat, excitement rushes through his veins as he accelerates the car trying to get to work faster.

Are you cringing yet? Sounds very suspicious to normal people and you know why? Because no such job exists!

HR professionals and psychologists have been working on trying to make jobs more interesting and enriching but are still facing issues with the human psyche. Motivation theories and job specifications are constantly changing and turning into market trends which still flop. Dealing with (Baby boomers, Generation X, and Generation Y employees in the workforce) forces us to mix and match them around, imagining boundaries that actually don’t exist and forecasting problems before they happen just to give ourselves something to do. And in the end, studying the overall organizational behavior in midst of globalization and the employees’ cultural background just forces us to lose sleep… And what for? To be able to run our organizations better.

Are we overthinking?

When I had to finish my two month internship for my degree, it was a well known fact that training in a governmental ministry is the best option for us. Now why is that? Well, it’s less work, a secure job, and good pension. You can’t get fired from a governmental job and you don’t really have to do much anyway. It’s not like you’re expected to.

Very interesting, I thought.

Well, my internship was in a private stocks/bonds company and I later chose to deny their employment offer and work in a family business (for that story, click on best decision ever). I had to deal with governmental agencies to get many papers done and, with time, I realized that employees in governmental agencies were slacking off.

It was a shock to my naivety.

Yes, it’s a generalization to say that governmental employees would get to work, have breakfast (in one office thereby leaving their offices), they would chatter about last night’s episodes and anything else worth talking about such as the stock of new clothes one of them got from Thailand and has to market, burn some incense, complain about their colleague who took a sick day off for the fifth time this week, then get a few papers done, go for prayers, have a tea break in one of the offices (thereby leaving their offices again ignoring all frustrated visitors and callers who have been calling all day), get back to their offices, act busy while calling their friends from the office phone, and finally getting ready to go. Yes, I believe that many private sector employees sees this is how a government employee spends his day.

Now I am an optimist and there happened to be some changes back in the early 2000s which segregated some functions which were under ministries to new governmental agencies; these were focused on specific tasks such as the labor market regulatory agency (LMRA), and the national health regulatory agency (NHRA). They were new, fresh, and had websites which actually worked and call centers which answered your calls! There is always light in the end of the tunnel.

Fast forward to Tuesday January 26, 2016. Our company needs to get the approval from the NHRA to enter some stocks into the country. Although the rules are new so we have to explain to our suppliers why and since when we needed quality assurance papers, we still try to be good citizens and just get the paperwork done. So by 9:30 we reach the NHRA offices with fear and terror in our eyes, praying that we forgot nothing.

We are greeted (by greeted I mean looked at as a living creature) by the receptionist who receives the paperwork without as much as a smile. Maybe it’s Botox. She requests samples of the products which we don’t have. We apologize for wasting her highness’s time and run away to a distant location to call the office and ask them to arrange the samples NOW! We wait, seeing people come and go: some are disappointed, others are more disappointed, only one gets through. We sigh wondering if we could be so lucky.

We receive the samples and get back to the receptionist who has a problem with smiling. We approach carefully, treading lightly and hoping. We give her the samples. It’s 10:40, she says,’come back tomorrow we cannot give you the stamp of approval today.’

‘Why?’ I ask, forgetting where I am. She looks at me like I was Oliver Twist asking for more food.

‘We only stamp from 9:00 to 10:30.’

Do you, my dear reader, understand what I am saying? They only stamp from 9:00- 10:30 am. The rest of the day there is no stamping done. None whatsoever. Maybe they staple for the next 1 1/2 hours, then next they hole punch. So what really happens to the stamp? Does it get tired? Is that why there is no more stamping after 10:30? Is it religious or can I question it?

Based on the stamping rule and the stamping rule only, we need to go back tomorrow and hope it’s within the stamping time.
Jumping through hoops for no reason whatsoever for an approval stamp. Do the HR know what they’re doing and is it specified in the job description? Are we in the private sectors really overthinking our job?

Human Resources, you’re doing it wrong. Stamping, you’re doing it right.

January 26, 2016 0

Let your Don be a Quixote

Image from http://quirkyberkeley.com/don-quixote-and-the-windmills/

The well known novel of Don Quixote talks about the adventures of a man who has read so many chivalric romances that he lost his sanity and decided to revive chivalry and fix the world under the name of Don Quixote. After getting himself on his ‘stud’, Don Quixote comes upon wind mills and sees them as giants that he wishes to engage in fierce and unequal combat. The novel goes on.

I am not a literary critic nor have I any sense or right to talk about this marvelous work of literature. I know, however, that the sad reality behind Don Quixote’s insanity lays in the comedy that is life. By ‘comedy’ I do not mean the insanity Quixote is in, but the insanity we as humans enforce upon ourselves to tailor our senses into what we think is right.

Going out and coming back into my flat everyday, I use the elevator with my almost-two year old son. There’s a nice long crack on the side of the mirror in the elevator and I never really saw it as more than a danger if not changed since kids in our building could very easily be playing in the elevator and a wrong move could shatter the mirror. For a few days, my son points at the crack, smiles, and says ‘rainbow’.

Much like Quixote’s Sancho, I couldn’t see the rainbow.

I couldn’t see the beauty in the crack nor could I see how it was interpreted to be one. I looked closely, there are no reflected colorful lights coming out of the mirror, it was a very normal crack. The first time my son said ‘rainbow’ I said, ‘no, it’s a crack.’ He ignored me and kept seeing the rainbow. I really hope that he continues to see rainbows in place of cracks.

Now the question is, why do we find it so easy to tailor our senses based on what we learned? Yes, all the tacit knowledge we have in our minds cannot be unlearned which, in the long run, takes us away from all creativity and submits us to the mold that is ‘human.’

Creative thinkers, artists, musicians, and theorists do not let themselves succumb to this mold and do not allow any outside constraints on their minds. We are told to ‘think outside the box’ when looking for creative answers, but the issue is the way we think. Rules and givens that make up our lives should be challenged when looking for answers. In the movie The Matrix, Neo meets some children with the oracle, one child was bending a spoon using his mind. The question is not how to bend the spoon, there is no spoon.

I realized that telling our children ‘no’ eats away at their creativity bit by bit and thus we are shaping them into what we deem fit. Yes discipline is important and so is the enforcing of our values but there must be a time and place where children can be children without us questioning their rainbows. Let our Dons be Quixote’s.

January 14, 2016 0

You Want my Respect? Get Up

I can think of only a few things that I really hate and one of the top five is a lazy bum. Yes, a couch potato, a person who has a million reasons not to do something, someone who would rather stay at home watching tv than get up and do something with his life. I’m not sure what these ‘lazy bums’ do for a living but, giving the number of hours they are residing on the couch makes me wonder if and when they get the time to work. I’m not talking about working out (exercising), I’m talking about just doing something with their lives.

Something, ANYTHING!

Now many people I know seem to have a problem with the lack of time. It doesn’t matter to me if they (or I) have an issue with time management, I believe that at least we’re doing something. How, how, and how can the lazy bum stay at home watching tv and ordering food to be delivered to their doorstep (and sometimes to their bellies) while everyone else is outside working? Don’t they realize that life is passing by and things are happening outside? Doesn’t it matter to them that they will wake up one day and see everyone they know all grown up and gone?

I understand how sometimes you can be so tired that you just crash on the couch for the whole weekend. I genuinely understand that and I believe that you deserve some time to just rest and do nothing. The issue is when this becomes a life style. When 12 hours of sleep plus laying on the couch all day still isn’t enough. Seriously? Get up and do something!!

There are many things that need to be done. I’m pretty sure we all have similar responsibilities towards family and friends: get them done. How are your finances? Isn’t too much spare time an indicator of what you CAN do? Maybe get a second job, maybe get a first job?! Maybe you need to get a hair cut or get yourself shaved? How about your mind, ever think that maybe reading would make a difference? Maybe you can study? Get a free online course, learn a language!? Do SOMETHING, anything!! What about the list of resolutions that you keep postponing? Isn’t that somewhere to start?

You’re becoming a liability on someone out there. Your laundry basket is full, you’re probably in the same clothes you were in three days ago, and you can’t remember which day it is.

Get up.

People are fighting to live a better life. People work hard and put an effort. I do not respect people who choose to let their lives pass without doing something.

You have one shot in life, make it worthwhile.

January 5, 2016 0

Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

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