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Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

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Taking Control- Who’s Pulling Your Strings?

strings

Control

We like to think that we have “everything under control” and that the time spent doing things not on the top of our priority list is an actual choice we made.  Ha!  Wake up and smell the coffee.  Who is really pulling your strings?

Values and preconceptions have been embedded in out minds from a young age and seldom do we question their validity.  We do not question why our parents raised us a certain way and why they enrolled us in a certain school.  We take it as a given that they were and always will be looking out for our best interests.  Now let’s assume that somebody’s parents were selfish people who couldn’t care less what he did in school and who he’s hanging around with.  Does it mean that the strings they are supposed to hang on to and care for get thrown down for anyone to pick up?  Yes, that’s precisely what it means.

If parents are not there to “pull their children’s strings” before the children are all grown up and can pull their own strings, someone bigger and probably not wiser will be more than happy to control them.  Watch out for your kids.

Alright, back to you.  Now after we as children were being controlled by our parents’ values and limits, we quickly graduated to have the school teachers have some control.  This control doesn’t necessary mean it’s bad, on the contrary, it means that we still need some guidance before the time is right and we’re ready to fly from the best.-

The issue lies when we are introduced to a bigger circle.  Friends included in a bigger social circle, the society and its many different ideologies, sometimes religion and people who represent it, celebrities, people with big names, people with no names, your neighbor, your local milk man, anybody can hold your strings and control you when you least know it.  What can you do?  Don’t allow it.

Don’t allow anyone to take control.  Hold your own strings and stand your ground in regards to your beliefs.  You may be surprised that one day you will turn from being the puppet to being the puppet master.

Influence, do not let people influence you

Lead, do not be satisfied with being led.

Make your own mark, find your own voice, and speak.  Believe in yourself: you are your number one everything.  Do not allow yourself to be controlled

Control, who’s really holding your strings?

1

Asking SIRI- A Life Lesson

siri

We all know that sometimes it’s easier to talk to SIRI than actually going through the whole swish the finger across, swish it again, tap, and get what you want (we are a generhation who took the word lazy to a totally different level).  SIRI uses voice recognition to follow commands given by the owner of the IPhone/Ipad/Ipod and other I-related products.  For more information about what SIRI is, google SIRI wikipedia.

Last week, my five year old niece comes up to me and asks, “Can I talk to your phone?”  I didn’t quite understand her and was like huh?  She said, can I talk to your phone for a bit?  Her mom tells me from across the room that her daughter wants to talk to SIRI so I tell her to go ahead.  I was having a nice cup of tea and didn’t really need my phone so I didn’t think I would miss it.

A few minutes later, I hear my niece screaming, “I SAID SING A SONG!”  over and over again, louder and louder each time.  What she didn’t realize, though, was she wasn’t changing her command and when she does, it is very minimal.  I totally ignored her for the next ten minutes and then started worrying about my battery.  Luckily, she managed to get SIRI to “sing a song” which was basically just playing a random song from my music playlist.  She was beaming!  I took the phone away.

My three year old son wanted to, obviously, copy his “amazing older cousin” so he came and said, “mama can I use your phone?  I want it to sing for me.”  Which is very adorable because it sounded like he wanted someone to sing him a good night song.  I let him have my phone and he, come to think of it, knew how to get SIRI working.  Hmmm, I just realized this now.  Anyway, I told him, “Tell her play a song SIRI” and he did.  He was ecstatic and went to show his cousin who was surprised.

I got to hear how she doesn’t have a SIRI in her Ipad (it’s probably an older model) and how her mom’s SIRI isn’t working.  So today she comes up and asks to talk to SIRI again, please just for five minutes, ok three minutes, pleeeeease.  And I give in.  She picks the phone and before she says anything I say, “if you want her to play music don’t ask her to sing a song, ask her to play music.” and she did.  She didn’t have to scream, she didn’t have to waste her energy, she didn’t have to waste battery life, and she knew what she needed to ask to get her required result.

What we learn from this is

  1. when you want to ask for something, identify exactly what it is that you want and ask for it clearly and precisely.
  2. If you use the exact same words to ask for something, do not expect different outcomes at different times.  This expectation is known as insanity according to Einstein (doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results).
  3. You will not get different results when you shout, you will only get a headache.
  4. Kids will get what they want when adults are having a tea break
  5. Sometimes when copying a cousin, you still need to listen to your mom for directions
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The Job Interview- Chuckle

Chuckle

job interview

As a fresh graduate, I never knew my true worth in the job market.  I thought that I would be lucky to get a job, any job.  I know that I haven’t been the best student to graduate from college but, come on, at least I graduated with a decent degree and some knowledge that I thought would do me well.

What I didn’t know was that people in the real world aren’t giving out jobs like lollipops, it is a gruesome process to get employed.

So when I got a call for an interview just a few weeks after graduating and applying to every single company I know including google, I was stunned.  Happy, but stunned.  I knew that many people didn’t get a call EVER.

Let me tell you a little bit about myself.  I am 21 years old, somewhat serious given that some kids my age grew up with the Xbox, WII, and playstation, and I have been trying to grow out my pink hair for the past few months.  I am aiming to cut off the last few inches next month if my calculations serve me right and I’ll be a normal blonde.

Like all kids preparing for an interview, I got my friend over and started going through my closet looking for something decent enough to pass as work clothes.  You see, I really just graduated and don’t have the money to splurge on a suit.  So I ended up wearing a short black dress with a red blazer on top.  I put my hair up in a ponytail, put on my black choker for luck, and was ready to go.

I was nervous as hell!  I walked into the office and was ushered to a long corridor with chairs.  I could see that there were three other kids there waiting for their turns and gave the one closest to me a smile.  He smiled back barely.  I could see that he was wearing a suit and started questioning my choice of clothes.  I looked over to the other girl in the row and saw she was wearing a suit too.  It’s not that I looked unprofessional, it’s just that I looked less professional.  Plus, the company is going to give us all a chance based on our qualifications, right?

Wrong.

Amy?

My heart started racing as I nodded and stood up.  The guy who went out of the room was smiling I felt my heart plummet thinking that they’ll choose him over me and it’s a waste of time going in.  I walked in the room.  It was a big room with an elder man sitting on one side.  He looked up and I could have sworn that he cringed.  I wasn’t sure what was the deal but he just added on to my nervousness.

Have a seat, Amy.  He said

I did as I was told.

  • How old are you
  • 21 years old
  • Why do you think we should employ you?
  • because I feel like I would be able to give so much to the organization
  • Do you know anything about the organization?
  • Yes, I read about the latest development of…
  • Yes it was in the news, everyone heard about it.  What about your skills?  Are you able to work long hours?
  • I am willing to work all day if needed
  • Yes yes, that’s what they all say.  What about when you get married and get pregnant, do you think you will be able to work?
  • umm, I haven’t thought that far, sir.  You see, I just graduated a few weeks ago…
  • do you have someone you are in a relationship with?  Wait, scratch that I’m not supposed to ask this.  But you can tell me if you want (he looks at me like he was pushing me to answer)
  • No I am currently single and want to focus on my work
  • So you’d be free to work extra hours for the next, let’s say, two or three years.  Any other special talents you have up your sleeves?
  • I am fluent in French.
  • Is that right?  Well, now we’re talking.  How long have you studied it?
  • Around 12 years
  • Impressive.  Anything else you want to add?  Any questions?
  • Just one, and I ask you because this is my first interview, sir.  How did I do?
  • He sneered, chuckled, and look up at me. Not well enough.

 

5

Climbing’s Easy- Did You Try Falling?

Climbing

falling

Climbing’s easy

Did you try falling?

Falling from the top after you were the best?

Falling from the bridge and getting all wet?

Falling from the window, falling from the door

Falling like no ever fell before?

Falling out of sense, falling out of line

Falling out of a place I used to call mine.

Falling out of steps, missing out on the dance

Falling out of thought, living in a trance.

Falling in love, for love is a big big hole

Falling out on a position you will hold nevermore.

Falling out of touch, your friends no longer here

Falling out of sight, missing eyes and missing ears.

Falling out of life, falling out of breath

Falling out of life, falling into death.

Climbing’s easy,

did you try falling?

4

Cranky- A Story

Cranky

sad_man_rnd

He wandered into the break room aiming for the coffee.  He didn’t want to be his normal self nor did he care to greet everyone as usual.  He didn’t care to say good morning to all his colleagues and, why should he, he doesn’t owe them anything.

Everyday, he puts on his suit and drives to work.  He passes smiles to everyone and cares, actually cares enough, to ask how they were feeling and listen to their reply.  He knows that this is the correct thing to do and what is expected of him.  But today is different, he doesn’t want to smile, he doesn’t want to say good morning because it’s not a good morning, and he definitely doesn’t want to make small talk, he just wants his coffee.

It started early.  He woke up on the wrong side of the bed and things just kept rolling in the wrong direction, a small snowball escalating to take over his day.

He was usually a kind and sensitive man.

And yet today was different.  The neighbor’s dog was barking at his own shadow from the wee hours of dawn.  He walked away from the window towards his phone just to see that it had 21% battery life; the switch wasn’t turned on!  He turned on the switch quickly forecasting how much battery he would have once he gets out of the house.  He dropped a big blob of shampoo down the drain and immediately felt sorry for himself: come on who does that!?  He’s a respectable man!

Traffic jam on the way to work, a call from the bank informing him that he must present two IDs as a precaution, and his mother called.  All this before 9 a.m., all this without coffee.

He pressed on, ignoring the smiles, ignoring the eager faces waiting for him to ask how they are, ignoring the urge to turn around and never come back.  Pressed on, knowing that this day isn’t a good day regardless of how hard he tries to convince himself.  Knowing that it’s not a good day to be himself, it just doesn’t feel right.  He glanced at the calendar while pouring himself the cup of coffee and froze.

He finally knew.

He finally knew what his soul was trying to tell him: it was time to renew his vows, time to take away another life, time to sacrifice for the master of Death.

  • No, he thought.  I can’t do it anymore.  
  • You must!- the voice came from within, too real to be imaginary
  • But I have a good life here!
  • It is not an option.  You are to find someone and sacrifice him
  • I don’t want to run away again.  I just started a new position!
  • Who gave you the idea that this is a negotiation.  Start moving, start looking, start hunting
  • I gave you everything
  • And I gave you a chance, a do over.  Would you rather I take her away?
  • No!  I’ll do it.  I’ll do it for Rose.
  • Good morning Tom.  Everyone said you were a bit cranky today.  Do you feel better?
  • Alex, could you please help me?  I can’t seem to figure out what’s going on with the server, would you mind coming along?  I would appreciate another set of eyes.
  • Sure thing

Silence.

2

Followed Her Blindly

Blindly

follow meImage from Follow me Project by Murad Osman https://www.instagram.com/muradosmann/

He blindly followed his heart, throwing caution to the wind and ignoring every alarm in his head.  He followed his heart to the ends of the world knowing that by doing so he leaves behind people who really matter to him; people he is responsible for and people who will get hurt.

But it didn’t matter anymore.  He followed his heart blindly to find himself again after dying a horrible death.  Staying alive but barely.  Barely having enough will to breathe and barely having enough will to wake up in the morning.  His death started when he chose wrong.  When he chose the right path away from her.

She seemed to be the wrong choice.  A woman like no other, a woman with strength and will and passion.  A woman who loved one-too-many-times and got hurt one-too-many-times.  A woman who knew what she wanted and who was not afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve.  A woman whose love surprises like an open dam, where you live in free-fall not knowing if she will be there to catch you… but worth it when she does, and worth it when she doesn’t.  A woman crazy enough to add spice in your life and warm enough to cuddle with in cold nights.

He followed her blindly.  His obsession.  The queen of his heart and the love of his life.  He knew life doesn’t give second chances yet he was willing to take the risk.  He left everything and moved on.  Following her blindly to the ends of the world just to sleep at night with her arms around him.  He knew that she was his soul.  He knew that their ongoing arguments and off-and-on relationship never died because she was The One.

He was never truly alive away from her; she was forever in his heart.  The heart he worked so hard into keeping iced finally figured out a way to melt it.  His heart finally beat again after the cold nights of responsibilities, cold days of correct actions, and cold year of society rules.

He followed her blindly into existence.

Into living.

And into salvation.

0

Denial- Don’t Punish Him

Denial

The little hand held his with so much love, so much affection.  The simple gesture that says, “I love you,” was enough to keep him living, enough to keep his eyes closed.  He loved his son very much but there was always something that didn’t fit quite right.

He always gave him everything he could, showered him with gifts for any reason and was never able to decline any request.  His son was his everything especially after his wife’s death.

He held onto him remembering his late wife’s last words.  Don’t punish him.  Don’t punish him for what?  He never knew and he didn’t want to know.  He thought maybe she didn’t want him to blame their son for her death but that would just be absurd!  Why would he do such a thing!  He believed in God and has faith in His choices, paths.  God knows best.

But the words were nagging.  He always wondered and they continued to repeat in his mind.  Don’t punish him… Don’t punish him… Don’t punish him…

He saw everything, yet saw nothing.  He saw the differences yet he made up similarities.

 His eyes are blue, were his mother’s eyes blue?  No, but my great grandmother had blue eyes.  

He’s very tall.  Yes, it’s a funny story, my great uncle was known for his height.  He was nicknamed giant.

He looks very much like your best friend Anderson, people could mistake him to be his father.  A smile.

Denial.

Don’t punish him.

100928-Father-And-Son

3

Break Outside your Comfort Zone

comfort zone

When you change nothing, nothing changes.  When life reaches a point where every day is like the day before, things get comfortable.  You know what is expected from you, what you expect from people, and what you will achieve that day.  But in the long run, your achievements will be minimal in relation to the number of days you lived.

So why wait for the change to happen when the factor that is needed is you.  You need to change to enforce change.  You need to do things differently to get higher results or, at least, something else.  Yes, we are all guilty of taking the back seat in our lives but we shouldn’t settle because there are many things out there that can be achieved.

Things you wanted to do before you turned 30 shouldn’t be a list thrown away.  Even though 15 year old you is only living in the past, you owe him/her some respect towards their desires; he/she is still a part of you.  When change happens, everything happens.

Your comfort zone is like your home.  You feel comfortable in it and you stop growing.  You stop learning, and you stop expanding your horizon.  The world is continuously changing and people who follow these trends and accept these changes are no longer prisoners of their fear.  Fear of change and fear of growth.

But how can you be the factor that induces this growth?  Takes you from one phase in life to another?  First, you need to accept the challenge and know your strengths and weaknesses.  You need to identify what you want done, face your biggest fear, your demons, head on.  You need to take one step outside your comfort zone.  Feel uncomfortable: it won’t kill you.

There are many cliche sayings such as “think outside the box” and “there is no box” and “be the change you want to see in the world,” but in my opinion, the best is “There is no spoon”.  Yes, there is no spoon because the boundaries and your fear is all in your head.  For example, let’s assume I am afraid to present in front of a big group.  It’s not an impossible task; many people are capable of doing it and yet my speech starts to slur and I feel like I’m having a nervous breakdown.  Now, this contains me in a little bit, taking away possibilities and choices, and reduces my skills by one skill.  Imagine that this goes on to include more skills: networking, socializing, report writing, too scared to watch movies that have to do with death, too scared to read books that have more than 300 pages.  These are all restrictions on ME.  I am actively putting myself in jail and making it smaller by these ridiculous constraints that nobody placed but myself.

So why do it?

Because it’s too scary?

Well, outside is where the magic happens.  Where possibilities are infinite and everything is within reach.  Stepping outside your comfort zone may be hard to start, but after a few steps and familiarizing yourself with your new surroundings, you have a new bigger comfort zone.  One that may have included one thing you consider “magic.”  And you take another step out, and you grow your comfort zone, thereby including more magic in your life.

Stepping outside your comfort zone doesn’t necessarily mean meeting new people, it could mean doing something different.  Skiing, skateboarding, traveling, meditating, taking a journey inwards, taking a journey outwards, reading a new genre, it doesn’t matter.  It only matters that you made the effort to change your days and understand that perception is everything.  You are the only one binding you with unnecessary limits in a place where there are no limits.

Think.  Step outside.  Grow.  Find your magic.  And remember, there is no spoon.

photo_movieMatrix-quoteSpoon

0

Lesson #1 at Work

welcome

We’ve all been there.  Our puppy eyes wide open and looking forward to our first day in our job.  We were finally able to convince someone working in the HR department of some company that we actually know what we’re doing and, surprisingly, they take our word for it.  The excitement, the anxiousness,, the butterflies in our stomach, the sleepless night, and the many outfits we tried are all witnesses to our new step.  We don’t just panic, we ARE panic.  We don’t have breakfast that morning and have a coffee instead.  Everything seems to be surreal and amazing.  We walk up to the office and meet the sweet HR lady who, for what we believe, is our only support in the new found land.  We listen intently to every word she says.  Induction… break time… new employee… parking… refrigerator… telephone… the list goes on.  You hear some words and miss out much more. And if your workplace is big, you fear getting lost.

“meet your colleague, XYZ, he is assigned to be your ‘buddy’ and show you around.  For the first two days, just be his shadow.”

And you look in the face of your new friend.  Your only friend in this unknown land and you smile, thinking that this is going to get better, that this is not so bad after all.  So you put all your trust in that one person and think that you have grown from being the newborn holding onto your HR mother to a toddler, happy to go a bit further and spread your wings.

Now, you took it as a given that XYZ is a good person.  A person who will tell you the truth and give you insights as to how to conduct yourself in the workplace.  Little did you know that many times XYZ turns out to be something else.  Let’s take different scenarios:

XYZ is a

1- Loser.  So you end up being stamped as a loser from day 1, thereby losing all your chances in ever being a part pf  the in group

2-Disgruntled employee.  So you end up hearing what a bad place your work is and you question your decision regarding taking the job

3- Lunatic.  So you end up questioning everything including your sanity and you may also turn into a lunatic yourself (remember, this is your first job so you’re fairly young)

4- Optimist.  So you see flowers everywhere you go and will end up falling flat on your face when reality strikes

5- Pessimist.  Similar to disgruntled employee, a pessimist at work will show you how bad your work is.  You leave your job and end up with somewhere worse, thereby wishing time would go back.

6- Mafia king.  You can be taken under his wing if you are lucky and will feel like a part of the family until someone ends up sleeping with the fishes and you question your “luck”

7-Mean girl.  You throw all caution (and your values) to the wind and be part of the group.  You only question yourself if (and only if) something wrong happens because being a mean girl is just fun

giphy

8- Nerd.  And thereby dig a grave for your social life.

But you could also end up meeting a friend.  Someone who would always be there and who would always give you great advice.

Be careful who you hang out with once you go somewhere new, it could make or break you.  Take things slowly, understand that the person introducing you is just doing his job and you can always find the circle you are most comfortable with.

After all, isn’t work just like school at a bigger scale?  And isn’t life just the same?

Try to play by your own rules and be comfortable with who you are.

Good luck

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