bedoorbluemoon

New Year Resolutions should be SMART

Everyone has a boost in motivation when writing their New Year resolutions and, honestly, why not? It’s a great time to start something since everyone else is doing it. It’s usually the time when people are very optimistic about the 365 days coming up they feel that they can do anything, everything, the thing they never got around to, and thing they vowed will be done, and the thing they will probably stop doing in a few months.

Now why is that?

Well, beginnings are always hopeful. The start of a new job, the start of a new relationship, the start of a new goal, and so on. The problem is the start is usually where we make mistakes.

When setting goals, you should make sure that they should be SMART goals. I’m sure many of you know the concept of SMART goals in work but, as a reminder, goals should be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. We apply SMART goals in our jobs and it honestly travels well into our lives.

Now let’s take the classic example of losing weight. The usual resolution is “lose weight” or some more specific version such as “lose five kilos this year”. Alright the second one is a bit better but the goal is so vague Future-You would look for (and find) the loop holes. Future-You would say “well, I lost a kilo so I’m alright” NO! You’re NOT alright, you must be stronger than Future-You. You must be SMARTer 😉

S- Lose five kilograms

M- measurable with a weighing scale

A- it is most probably attainable

R- yes it’s relevant as it has to do with your weight

T- by June 30, 2015.

(Motivation: one slice of chocolate cake- this addition would help keep your eye on the goal. But internal motivators should be used for better results).

Aha. Now you can apply the same method to your other goals.

Challenge yourself, set your goals and make sure to keep milestones that would keep your motivation up. It helps when you can see the end that’s why 30 day challenges work well. For writers who plan to write a book, milestones can be the chapters written or reviewed. For photographers, milestones can be a certain number of pictures taken and shared or sold, and so on.

Identify the goal so you can keep it right in front of you. Identify your goal and work towards it. Identify your goal and reward yourself when you reach. Pat yourself on the back and be proud.

Stop giving yourself excuses, start somewhere SMART.

April 18, 2015 1

أنثى

دعني اشعر بانوثتي

لا تتركني رهينة الأحزان

دعني ارش رقبتي بعطر البنفسج

والون اطرافي بألوان الخريف

والربيع والصيف والشتاء.

دعني اضحك لكل سبب

ودعني ابكي بلا سبب

دعني ارقص

دعني أسدل شعري الطويل

واحرك قدماي مع موسيقى قلبي

واطير…

April 17, 2015 0

Afternoon Tea

The first memory she had of her grandmother’s house was the scent of freshly baked blueberry muffins. She loved how the aroma filled the entrance and loved the traces of flour on the surface of the working area. She would draw little hearts and her grandmother would tease and ask if the hearts were meant for her or the muffins, and she would answer the muffins. She loved her grandmother who introduced her to this wonderful world of baking.

She remembered the sweet lemon pies they would make in the summer to accompany the swimming trips and the warm apple cinnamon crumble that would accompany the winter winds. She was her grandmother’s little helper. The person who would hold the rolling pin and the person who would garnish the cake tops with chocolate shavings. She was the person who would cut the two day old bread to cover with the custard, raisins, and nuts and turn it into warm home-made pudding. She would always choose the floral tablecloth and tea set for their days together and would help serve afternoon tea to her family and enjoy every second of their tea time together.

All her free time was spent in the kitchen with her grandmother. she learned everything in regards to the temperatures, recipes, and baking tips. She asked her father for a set of baking pans for her tenth birthday and was ecstatic when she unwrapped the pink wrapping paper and saw them in the box. Her first baking pans.

She always wanted to settle down and start a family of her own. She met Owen once she started college in orientation and things just clicked between them. Her short dark hair and warm hazel eyes penetrated his heart and he knew that she was the woman of his dreams.

They had some joined classes and Owen was so happy to help Catherine with her work. They spent so much time preparing for projects and presentations. After two years of college, Catherine told Owen that she will not be continuing her education and a Diploma was enough. Her grandmother have passed away and she had to go back and spend her summer in the old kitchen. He understood her passion and wished her well but didn’t want to lose her so he promised to take some time to visit her for a week during the spring break.

She walked into the old kitchen and ran her fingers across the top of the working area. Dust in place of flour. She opened the cupboards that once held the dried cranberries and vegetable oil and they were empty. She sighed. She opened the fridge that was once packed with eggs and cream to have an empty space stare back. She took the rolling pin in her hand and started to think of a way to bring life back into her grandmother’s house.

She smiled and started to work on cleaning up the house. She started with the kitchen, then the rooms, and finally the living area. She made sure the place was warm and welcoming as it always was when her grandmother was around. She left the house and came back with bags of groceries.

She started by making a basic vanilla cake. She sliced the vanilla bean and used half in the custard she was cooking on the stove. Her heart skipped a beat when she thought the eggs curdled but was satisfied to see that it all went well. Her grandmother taught her well.

she was expecting her father, mother, and sisters to arrive soon and Owen also confirmed he would be coming over for tea. He had a different plan in mind and coordinated with Catherine’s mom to propose. She was ecstatic to hear and gave her blessings.

Catherine chose the floral table spread and got her grandmother’s floral cups and saucers. She started boiling the water for the tea and was piping creme patisserie in her eclairs when the doorbell rang.

It was nobody. She felt a bit of wind across her face so she had to make sure the draft was managed by closing the windows. Catherine arranged the eclairs, vanilla cake, mini sandwiches, scones, and oatmeal cookies on the table and took a seat next to her grandmother’s chair. She placed a plate with one piece of each baked good and a cup of warm tea as tribute to her grandmother. She was content with the outcome of four hours of baking and felt her grandmother would be proud.

The guests walked in and were impressed. Her sister beamed and Owen didn’t believe she didn’t buy the cakes. She smiled and sat down, making sure every one had a taste of her cakes.

Owen proposed. He went down on one knee and told her how she filled his life with happiness and what an honor it would be if she accepts to be his wife. He slipped the ring on her finger. Her family congratulated them and soon the get together was over.

Catherine was alone in the house, cleaning up and putting things back. It was the perfect day in her grandma’s little home. She was wiping the working area and unconsciously started drawing little hearts. She was exactly where she wanted to be.

“These are for you, grandma,”

April 16, 2015 1

Kids Today Are Not Airheads

I came across a post written by a connection of mine on LinkedIn and it caused me to think all day. The title of her post is “Rich Kids… Air-Heads.” https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/rich-kids-air-heads-eman-deabil . Maybe the purpose of her title was to cause people to wonder about her point of view, it sure got me to wonder.

To sum up her post, she talked about how we (I’m guessing Generation X) have a better understanding of the value of money and how entertainment for us was limited to three TV channels, the “Famous Family Game,” and a DOS computer. She talked about how kids today are too preoccupied with material matters and gave some examples of some who are, in her point of view, taking matters to the extreme.

I also have a point of view towards this topic:

1- Not everyone born with a “golden spoon” in his mouth have to turn out to be a brat. Many highly respected people in society have had the privilege of growing up in fairly rich families. Does that mean we have to mark them all as useless? Many start working in their family businesses during their summer vacations because they must be educated on every single matter before even graduating high school. Family dinners turn to business meetings and the second generation are used to hearing work and business related issues: it’a a part of their childhood. Some parents are so strict they seek perfection from their “golden” children. First world problems? Maybe.

2- Understanding the value of money doesn’t necessarily come from parents needing to save, it comes from parents teaching their children the value of money. Knowing the difference between necessities and luxuries travels well into all families regardless of their Status Quo.

3- I understand that your indication of “rich” isn’t in regards to money in the pockets, but in the amount of leisure today’s kids have. Well, in our days, our parents thought we were spoiled too. Just because there are different methods Continue reading “Kids Today Are Not Airheads” →

April 13, 2015 0

The Floral Dress

She stared at her reflection in the mirror and a stranger looked back. It has been a while since she took a hard look at herself: her hair was hard and brittle, her skin looked dull and lifeless, and her eyes just looked old. She looked back at the major events in her life and felt content.

She married early in her twenties and had her first child a year later. She chose to stay at home and be a full time mom while her husband was working to support the family. The first few years of her marriage were fine until she got pregnant again. It was as if her husband didn’t want another child, as if her girl would cost so much and there was no way to support her. She proposed to work part time from home and got a job as a data entry officer; this way she was able to be home with her kids and still earn some cash.

Then she got pregnant again and it wasn’t as easy as her previous pregnancies. She would doze off when her second child naps and would wake up barely in time to prepare dinner. The house was a mess, the laundry was piled up, the dishes were stacked, and the kids were dirty. Her work was never done on time and she still had to manage play-dates, birthday gifts, homework, and doctor appointments. It was getting out of hand but she still stayed strong. Still managed to take on more responsibilities.

Years passed and things settled a bit. Her kids were at school and they were very much independent. She still had to raise and discipline them, it’s just easier without late night feedings and diaper changings (at least).

During all those years, she ignored herself. Ignored her dreams and ignored her aspirations, ignored her desires and needs. Her friends drifted apart from her as she became more consumed with her family. She knew that her family is her life. She chose her family over her life. She sacrificed herself to make their lives easier: to make her husband and kids happy.

And today, she gets to celebrate her family. Her little boy got accepted in the college of his choice and is leaving the next day so they were all gathered for a farewell dinner. Her husband made the reservations and told her to “dress up” because it’s a very high class restaurant. She opened her cupboard and got her floral evening dress out. She put on her makeup, smudging the eyeliner over the creases of her lid and put her lipstick on quickly. She brushed her hair over the little bald spot she just realized and clipped it in place. She looked for her expensive perfume and sprayed it on her neck and wrists. She grabbed her shawl, glasses, and bag and went down to meet her husband who was already waiting in the car.

“I tried to be quick” She said.

Silence.

“I’m sorry, you only gave me 15 minutes, I barely got out of the shower when I heard your car come up the driveway.”

Silence.

She didn’t say anything else. She wanted to concentrate on the positive so started thinking of the previous years. She remembered the sleepless nights and difficult days, the books they would read at night and the homework she ends up writing just because one of the children was tired. Now they have their own life. Her eldest works as an accountant, her girl is still studying to be a doctor, and now her baby is going away to pursue his dreams.

She looked over at her husband who looked dead serious. She didn’t want to speak to ensure that the night’s not ruined and she started fiddling with her shawl.

They walked in. Her husband didn’t bother to wait for her and reached the table where their children were sitting and flipping through the menus.

“Finally, mom! We thought you’d never make it! Why are you wearing heels? You don’t even know how to walk in them!”

“Dad, couldn’t you at least make her wear something better? I’ve seen this dress a million times, it’s the one she wears for everything!”

“Excuse me, I have to visit the ladies’ room.” She walked into the stall and started crying. This wasn’t how she expected the night to start. She didn’t think her children would be so mean. Didn’t they know of everything she has done for them? Don’t they know she’s their mother.

She stopped crying when she heard the bathroom door open. A lady in heels walked in. “Yes, Janice, I’m here already. He’s telling her tonight. They’ll just have dinner then he’ll tell her. We planned it so well! I can’t wait to see the look on her face when she finds out we’ve been together for 10 years. I’m not a home wrecker, she doesn’t deserve him. We already established our new office in Delaware, he says he doesn’t want to be around anything that reminds him of her. Yes I’ll get her ring, that old hag! He says giving her his mother’s ring was the worst decision he made after marrying her. No, I won’t let her keep it. Did you see the diamonds on it? She doesn’t even know how to wear it. Hahaha yes she’s wearing that hideous floral dress…”

Silence…

April 11, 2015 0

Conventional or E-books

Technology changed so many things around us and changed the way we do things. Friends used to tell us that they like what we are wearing and now they double click on our image. Mothers used to take forever to cook a meal and now a quick whiz in the microwave does wonders (I am against microwave cooking). Writing was done using a pen and paper and now kids get too bored when they write because they are just not used to it. Televisions, mobile phones, and of course, books have changed.

I recall having my mother drop me off to the Family Bookstore biweekly just to choose a book to read but nowadays, with the internet, I can browse through pages and pages of Amazon books without leaving the comfort of my home. I have realized that this is an addiction when I started classifying my wish lists into “wish list- to buy,” “wish list: work,” “wish list: children”, and finally “wish list- maybe”. For those who think they can cure me, I choose not to be cured and I am happy with the fact that I love to collect books.

Hello, my name is Bedoor and I’m a book hoarder.

Am I against change? Maybe.

Resistance to change is an issue many people undergo. Most people are more comfortable with their routine and rely on the way things were always done. So you see people who grew up with physical books are more inclined to prefer them over the electronic readers, whereas kids this age are more comfortable reading in their electronic devices.

I prefer my books. I prefer to engage all my senses in reading. I prefer to revel in touching the cover and feel the crisp pages between my fingers. I revel in the scent of the bookstore, the sound of nothingness, and the stacks and stacks of books. Book utopia.

E-readers are the new libraries without the space, shelves, and magic.

I am not saying E-readers are bad, reading is such a personal and dear matter to me I have my customs. Many tried to convince me that E-readers are better since they would “save space when traveling.” Now would they, REALLY, save space? Think of the maximum number of days you would be away on vacation. Two to three weeks? Now think of the number of books you will read. Pack them up, how heavy are they? Do you need a charger with them?

Our eyes are already staring at screens all day we need to give them a break. We need to enjoy the classic process of holding a book in our hand at the end of each day. Reading in bed with the lights within hand’s reach is such a beautiful experience the reader tends to go to sleep while still between worlds. I would rather turn the book over and contemplate the events between chapters than turn the e-reader off. Fumbling to find the bookmark between the sheets just to wake up the next morning to see that you’ve dropped the book on the floor (and the bookmark is across the room).

My books are a part of me. They are a part of my past and each book holds a special place in my heart. I recall most of the times I purchased the books and the feelings I had reading the back cover. I can spend hours just looking at the covers and reading the titles, remembering some interesting detail that I just never forgot. With E-readers, how can I do that? Will I remember how I felt buying the book on the E-store using my credit card? It’s not personal enough.

I tried both methods and I choose the contemporary book any day. I can’t deal with more electronics, they are too impersonal and aren’t reliable all the time. I would rather give my son a physical book to flip through, to use his fingers and touch the parts that are made out of cloth or fur just to have a feel of what the item is. He will eventually have the choice when he grows older but I believe the way we grew up wasn’t so bad.

What do you prefer?

April 10, 2015 0

Best Friends Forever

She started questioning everything and everyone. Things she once thought were given truths are now unknown. Her life was hazy, she didn’t have anyone to turn to and it was one of the most difficult phases in her life.

She sighed.
She recalled her childhood: things at school were as dramatic as they would be for all students throughout the generations. Issues and fights over toys and clothes and best friends and so forth. Best friends. She went through all grades in her mind and one face kept popping up. A familiar face from her childhood. A face she once knew so well they pinkie swore they would never lose touch.

But they did. A really long time ago.

They never had a falling out, just a drifting apart. Things like this happen. Junior high is over and all of a sudden you’re not even talking to your best friend. You start hanging out in different circles and even though you live a block away, you just never meet up, never bump into each other, and never speak. As if the sleep-overs never were and the secret signals weren’t a part of your childhood.

She smiled.

I’m sure she remembers our code names.

It took her a few months to gather the courage to contact her childhood friend. She thought it would have been awkward to just give her a call. Plus, she doesn’t have her number. She remembered the kind of friendship they had and the great times they shared. It’s a good thing they’re friends on Facebook.

She sent a message, “Shortskin, this is Waldo, are you there?”

Time stopped and she was transferred back to the 80’s.

A few minutes passed. She panicked, I’m sure she’s busy with her life. What am I doing? What am I expecting from her? Beep.

“Shortskin here, what’s up Waldo?”

“Papa’s dead.”

“…I’m coming over”

April 7, 2015 1

كن معشوقي

ذب في كلماتي

وعيوني

واحتويني

اعشق كل ما فيني

من فتون

وجنون

ووجودي.

كن معشوقي

اعزف نغمات عذبة

كدقات فلبي

واوتاري

واحتويني

اعشق كل ما فيني

من آمال

واحلام

ووجودي

كن معشوقي

اشتاق الى وعودي

وسهراتي

وضحكاتي

واحتويني

اعشق كل ما فيني

من آهات

ولذات

ووجودي

كن معشوقي

اقرأ قصة حبنا

في دفاتري

واوداجي

لا تتركني صفحة منسية

بالدولاب

احتويني

اعشق كل ما فيني

من روحي

وكياني

ووجودي

كن معشوقي

April 6, 2015 1

Tug at Heartstrings

It never occurred to her that her life would take so many different turns; that the dreams she once had as a young girl would remain dreams. Her reality is far from what she planned. She didn’t think that she would be staring at her day’s schedule with a tear in her eye. All she knew is that she had to take her life one day at a time and hope things would get better soon.

She walked into the hair dresser.

She thought of the choices she made. She got married and just had a child 11 months ago. Her lovely Evelyn.

“Good morning, how are you? How’s Evelyn doing?” her friend asked.

“As cute as ever,” she replied joyously.

Tug.

Her husband left as soon as he found out she was pregnant. He ran away and left her alone with his sick mother. He said he found a job that can support his family but they never got any money transferred. That was a year ago. She had to make choices. She had to be strong for her baby.

Seems like we’re in for an adventure! We’re fully booked today.

Yes. Lives go on. People get to raise their children while she’s busy working. They get to spend time with them while she spends her time dying and blow drying.

“Hello Ma’am. My name’s Jane. Please have a seat and I’ll come back with our catalog.

She couldn’t spend Christmas with her daughter because she was needed at work. She couldn’t wait to get off work today. She wanted to hear her giggle and see her smile. She smiled.

“I want to have a bit of highlights done and I want a trim. Only from the back because my son keeps pulling on my fringe.”

Evelyn never pulls on her fringe.

Tug.

“I know I should have come last month it’s just I have no-one to hold my kid. I barely get to go to work for a couple of hours and I have to be with him the rest of the day.”

Tug.

“Sometimes I tell my husband I need one night off every week to go out with my friends. I need to be around adults, to have adult conversations and stop listening to nursery rhymes all day.”

Tug.

The day’s finally over. She gets to go home and see her sweet Evelyn. Her excitement gets the best of her and she forgets to get dinner. It doesn’t matter, she’ll find something in the fridge. She unlocks the door and walks into her empty apartment. She turns on her PC and puts on her headset. Ringing. Her daughter’s image pops up on her screen “mama” she squeals. “Hi baby. I missed you today. Hi Mama, how are you? How’s Evelyn?” “Hi honey. We’re good. She’s tried to pull herself up and had a bit of a fall but she’s alright.”

Tug.

“Did you ask if you can take your leave next month?”

“Yeah my boss said she’d look into it but I explained it’ll be Evelyn’s birthday.”

“I’m sure she’ll agree. We miss you. It’s been almost a year”

“It really seems longer. Evelyn, let’s sing Itsy Bitsy Spider. The Itsy Bitsy Spider went up the water spout. Let granny show you how to do. No mama, not this way, thumb to forefinger. Yes exactly. The Itsy Bitsy Spider…….”

Tug…

April 5, 2015 0

Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

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bedoorbluemoon

New Year Resolutions should be SMART

أنثى

Afternoon Tea

Kids Today Are Not Airheads

The Floral Dress

Conventional or E-books

Best Friends Forever

كن معشوقي

Tug at Heartstrings

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