bedoorbluemoon

You Want my Respect? Get Up

I can think of only a few things that I really hate and one of the top five is a lazy bum. Yes, a couch potato, a person who has a million reasons not to do something, someone who would rather stay at home watching tv than get up and do something with his life. I’m not sure what these ‘lazy bums’ do for a living but, giving the number of hours they are residing on the couch makes me wonder if and when they get the time to work. I’m not talking about working out (exercising), I’m talking about just doing something with their lives.

Something, ANYTHING!

Now many people I know seem to have a problem with the lack of time. It doesn’t matter to me if they (or I) have an issue with time management, I believe that at least we’re doing something. How, how, and how can the lazy bum stay at home watching tv and ordering food to be delivered to their doorstep (and sometimes to their bellies) while everyone else is outside working? Don’t they realize that life is passing by and things are happening outside? Doesn’t it matter to them that they will wake up one day and see everyone they know all grown up and gone?

I understand how sometimes you can be so tired that you just crash on the couch for the whole weekend. I genuinely understand that and I believe that you deserve some time to just rest and do nothing. The issue is when this becomes a life style. When 12 hours of sleep plus laying on the couch all day still isn’t enough. Seriously? Get up and do something!!

There are many things that need to be done. I’m pretty sure we all have similar responsibilities towards family and friends: get them done. How are your finances? Isn’t too much spare time an indicator of what you CAN do? Maybe get a second job, maybe get a first job?! Maybe you need to get a hair cut or get yourself shaved? How about your mind, ever think that maybe reading would make a difference? Maybe you can study? Get a free online course, learn a language!? Do SOMETHING, anything!! What about the list of resolutions that you keep postponing? Isn’t that somewhere to start?

You’re becoming a liability on someone out there. Your laundry basket is full, you’re probably in the same clothes you were in three days ago, and you can’t remember which day it is.

Get up.

People are fighting to live a better life. People work hard and put an effort. I do not respect people who choose to let their lives pass without doing something.

You have one shot in life, make it worthwhile.

January 5, 2016 0

قلمك الأحمر

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ابعد مجهرك عني

وابعد قلمك الأحمر

فأنا لست ورقة امتحان تصححها

ولست طالبتك لتوبخني

ولا ان تعلمني قوانين الفيزياء

لا تحتاج تربيتي

فأنا اربي اجيال

وانت؟

تربي كتب العلوم

والأيديولوجيات

في مكتبتك

لتبقى وحيدا

دون قلب

January 5, 2016 0

Where Did We All Part Ways?

When parents choose schools for their children, they have in mind a specific social circle, a specific life style, and a specific group of people to be associated with. This is also kept in mind when purchasing a house or joining a country club. Being a part of a group matters, and being a part of a chosen group matters more.

Today, I came across a very very old VHS tape of an old school concert. Yes, you read it right, it was a tape and not a CD or DVD. Gladly, it was converted to a CD so we, in the 21st century, can have access to its hidden gems. A few minutes after laughing my head off, I started feeling nostalgic. All those people on the recording were a part of my life one day. You see, our school was a fairly young school back then so we knew all the students. A smile spread across my face as I saw myself dancing and trying to make sure I don’t miss a step. I saw people who I still have contact with on Facebook and people who I really wanted to know what became of them. Many different faces with many different stories: the boy who wrote me my first love letter and my cousin dancing along her once-best-friend.

Where did we all part ways?

When did this bunch of primary school students grow into teachers and engineers and racist lunatics and fanatics? How were we able to deviate so much from the group of sweet looking children dancing and smiling at our families in the crowd? How can one person grow up to be a politician whereas another be a yoga instructor? Did our parents really think this through when they enrolled us in the nursery?

When did our peaceful competition turn to hateful differences and racial discrimination? We never cared where any of us came from, when did we part ways? Where was the crossroad in our lives? I thought that graduation is the time where we would definitely part ways but I realized that we parted ways earlier. We parted ways when we started seeing the differences. We parted ways when we realized the difference in our backgrounds and starting comparing (and contrasting) ourselves. When we were all on that stage, everything was perfect, our individual differences made sense. Our makeup was done by our music teacher who loved us all individually, our hair was styled as we saw best (by we I mean our mothers), and our dresses were, honestly, gorgeous.

We were so pure and innocent, where did we give ourselves the right to judge? When did we think we were better and when did we lose sense of the dance of life? When did we all part ways?

Where did we all part ways?

January 2, 2016 0

كل عام وانتم بخير

ها نحن قد طوينا سنة من أعمارنا ونحن نحتفل… نلبس الاقنعة التي تخفي ما بنا من أسى ونريهم ابتسامتنا المصطنعة… ٣…٢…١… كل عام وانتم بخير
نتناسى الحروب والدم والموت ونأمل بأن تأتي السنة الجديدة بأفراح، وكأن الامس مختلف عن اليوم… فماذا فعلنا لنغير واقعنا؟ ما الذي تغير غير الرزنامة المعلقة على الجدران؟
هل نسينا من كانوا معنا وتركناهم تحت الثرى لا نتذكرهم الا ليالي الجمعة ليصلهم، ان أمكن، منا دعوة صادقة؟ هل نسينا ما كانوا يعنونه لنا يوما ام أسرنا ذاك المسمى أمل؟

نضع الخطط ونكتب أسمائنا في دفاترنا الجديدة مصممين ان تكون هذه هي السنة التي ستغير مجرى حياتنا. فنخطط ونفكر بكل جد متناسين ما تحمله الحياة من مفاجآت.
خرجنا من الاحتفال ونحن ندعوا من الله ان (يعودكم) غير مكترثين لاهمية هذه الدعوة ولا لأبعادها، فهي مسألة حياة او موت… فيا من تمنيتم ان يعودنا الله السنة المقبلة في احسن حال، تعالوا واجلسوا معي لكي نعيش معا سنة جميلة، فحتى وان كانت الحروب لا تزال قائمة، تظل الحياة مع الاحبة اجمل.

كل عام وانتم بخير.

January 1, 2016 0

2015 in review- My Blog

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 920 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 15 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

December 30, 2015 0

اللبؤة

عودي اليّ بعد يومكِ الطويل

وتقمّصكِ دور اللبؤة

تدافع عن صغارها وتجول في الاماكن

متيقضة، غامضة، وجاهزة للانقضاض

عودي اليّ واسدلي بشعركِ المسجون

اعتقيه من لفتّه الضاغطة

ودعيه يتمايل على ظهرك بتموّجه

دعيه يرتطم على صدري

كالبحر الغاضب

ودعيه يشعر بأناملي تحدّثه

وتسرد أخبار يومي المجنون

فأنا أتوق إلى الجلوس مع شعرك

لأخفي في طيّاته الكثير

عودي اليّ بعد يومكِ الطويل

وتقمّصك دور اللبؤة

اعيدي مخالبك إلى الدولاب

وامسحي وجههك الباهت من التعب

وضعي مساحيق الحب وائتني… قطة

تمشي باستحياء بثوبها المخملي

ائتني لأزيح همّك بابتسامة شكر

وأريح بالك بحلول منطقية

وأكون جبلا صامدا يحميك

لكيلا تكوني لي لبؤة

فهذا الدور لا يناسب عشّنا الصغير

كوني للناس لبؤة

وكوني لي… أنتِ

December 3, 2015 0

You Are Not Your Job

TV shows have a large impact on social life especially when it runs for more than a few years. Hanging out in coffee shops became popular after the TV show Friends and ladies jumped into Rachel’s (Jennifer Anniston) haircut from season two. Recently, many TV shows are related to doctors and so instead of Rachel’s beautiful shag we see men and women wearing their lab coats out in public.

The first question I would like to ask is why are you wearing the lab coat? Don’t hospitals offer you lockers? Do you go out of the house wearing them and keep them on? It is such a predicament to me that I cannot accept it. Now this was my opinion when I saw the doctors (residents, trainees, I’m not sure if someone just bought a lab coat to fit in) in Starbucks. Fine, doctors need coffee too and I would really appreciate a doctor high on caffeine; plus it’s a great place to sit and chat and study. The thing is, a few days ago I saw three women in lab coats walking in the mall! Now that is a new level of crazy.

Trying to think as a person working in HR and not a cynic, I thought that maybe these women were proud to be doctors and are ready to jump in whenever needed. Similarly, Bat Man walks around in his cape too. Therefore, they identify themselves as heroes and have high employee engagement. Now going back to TV, I’ve seen many movies when an accident occurs (specifically in air planes), the stewardess would shout “Is there a doctor here?” and a man a few seats back would say, “yes, I’m a doctor, give me some space.” And the action would continue. This man is usually not wearing a lab coat. Thus, lesson number one: you do not need to wear your lab coat to be a doctor.

When we are introduced to someone, a common question that comes up is “what do you do for a living?” Sometimes the question isn’t asked and we immediately think of informing the new acquaintance of our profession. Why is that? This is where I’d like to say you are not your job. The need to be identified with a career is making people concentrate on titles more than their actual growth in life. Children don’t need to inform each other what they do, we don’t see a child say that he is a student because it doesn’t matter. Does it really matter what you do for a living? Yes. But is it the only thing that identifies who you are? It shouldn’t be.

It’s true that we spend a big chunk of our adult life at work but we need to be reminded time and again that life is not work. The concept “work-life balance” needs to be renamed since they are not different, it’s just a matter of time management. Yes a part of who we are today is made up from what we do but it’s not the only thing. For example, a working mother understands the importance of juggling the different aspects in her life and so her role in life is more varied and she can “log off” when she leaves work because there are other pressing matters to tackle. The urge and desire to grow in our careers sometimes take our eyes away from the beauty of life, we are so preoccupied with the race that we are missing the scenery.

Life goes on, you don’t want to wake up and realize that you spent it at work.

There are Work life balance assessment tools that can be found on-line, this is the wheel of life with its different areas. Even without taking the assessment, you can immediately see what you are dismissing, whether knowingly or not.

wheel-of-life-300x300 *Example of Wheel of Life

Another thing to consider when trying to manage your time is your priorities. Identify your priorities in the Wheel and come to peace with your choices. If you end up with Family and Friends having a low number and you are ok with that, then it’s fine. There is no correct answer to how the wheel should look for it to function. It should just work for you. In addition, priorities change over time and you need to pay attention to these changes and change your life (and wheel) accordingly.

An interesting clip I found is Steven Covey’s First things first Youtube Clip which portrays time as a bowl. The woman in this clip is asked to fill the bowl with business related issues but imagine trying to fit your bowl with all life aspects. Time is limited and it’s what you do with your time that matters. Follow your dreams, look where you are going, and be thankful for what you have. You are not your job, you do not need to wear your lab coat everywhere because you are more than just what you do. Find out what you like and pursue it, you only live once.

November 12, 2015 0

Hold your Horses- Reality Funnier than a Joke

When I was in elementary school, not a very long time ago, our English teacher was giving us a class on idioms and figurative speech. For people who don’t remember, idioms are basically sayings that are used to express the meaning of the situation with a bit of drama and pizzazz.

That’s when we learned “it’s raining cats and dogs,” “the grass is always greener on the other side” and “it’s not my cup of tea.” Interestingly, I thought that was the last time I’d come across idioms since, in the real world and specifically in the business world, there’s no place for idioms (or emoticons.)

I was wrong.

Imagine this: I was sitting in my office with my business hat on trying to follow up on a shipment that was delayed for no apparent reason. So I, being very professional in my emails, started with a courtesy, asked nicely but firmly about the shipment, and ended with a nice closing.

A few minutes later, I get a reply that started with my name misspelled. (long pause) This is not and never is a good start to any email. A few lines into the email I come to a halt staring at the unimaginable words: (please hold your horses).

WHAT????

I was dumbfounded. I could not believe that anyone would use such rude and unprofessional words in a business context. But what I did learn in this situation is if you want to catch someone off guard, use an idiom.

For reference, these a few:

1- It’s raining cats and dogs – can be used when a colleague you barely know brings up the weather to fill in the silence. You can say, “it’s raining cats and dogs” if it is raining heavily but you could also say “it’s not raining cats and dogs”

2-“the grass is greener on the other side”- can be used when your boss is scolding you and you feel like you are getting fired. Please note that you will probably get fired after this

3- It’s not my cup of tea- can also be used with your boss when he/she gives you work you are not comfortable doing or you just don’t want to do. Please note that this is not good for your performance evaluation. Alternatively, you can also use it when someone is asking about an actual cup of tea in the break room. To do so, you need to position yourself in the break room and have a cup of tea near you but not directly in front of you. Try to engage the person in a conversation regarding the item he/she is holding. For instance, start with, “is this your sandwich?” then casually say while pointing to the cup “it’s not my cup of tea.”

4- Hold your horses- also hazardous but you could get away with it when talking to your fellow colleagues.

And finally

5- You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours. DO NOT USE THIS. THIS MAY BACKFIRE IN SO MANY WAYS!

Choose your words wisely, they can move mountains.

October 22, 2015 1

Nights

Nights.

When a dear one departs, nights are the worst. You are left with your own thoughts and memories. You are left with the emptiness of the furniture. You are left with an empty chair, an empty bed, and a lot of clothes.

Clothes and possessions of your loved one. Night time passes by so slowly and you are stuck with clothes … Stuck with a hair brush, a bottle of shampoo, and shoes.

Stuck with a Facebook account you have no password for and you just stare at the screen. You go back to the closet and run your hand over one of the tops. You remember the time you bought it together and the many times you discussed throwing it away. You wonder if you have to throw it away now.

You clasp your fist around the fabric as hard as your heart is clenched and a tear rolls down your cheek.

Night.

No one to talk to, no one to help you forget the bedside table with the stain where a coaster should have been.

You look over at the closet again. Too many clothes.

Night time is the worst.

You are left with many unclaimed possessions… Darkness… And clothes.

(الله يمسح على قلبكم بيت عمو مجيد)

September 26, 2015 1

Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

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