Lights on. Zoom into girl sitting on a bench.
A figure walks towards you, his face is a blur, his features are vague. To you he seems to be a shadow coming out of the mist. Then he takes a few more steps and his face becomes a little bit clearer. You can see his nose and the curl that can only be a smile. He takes a few more steps and you think he is very handsome. A handsome man with a handsome face. A good body and quite tall, you think.
Focus on man’s face.
You realize that his eyes are brown like chocolate. You stare into them as you speak and in that moment, you have surrendered your life to this man. In your mind, you already planned your wedding and started picking out names for your children. In that moment, everything seems to be going right.
Man’s face in focus. Everything else out of focus.
Your life with this man is blissful. You see him everyday and notice the little things about him. You notice sparks of gold in his eyes and realize that in the sunlight, his brown eyes have more depth. He is no longer a shadow, he is everything, he is in focus. You realize a little habit he has and consider it to be plain adorable. In your mind, he is perfect. In your mind, your path with him is clear. His phone number is not only in your favorites but is engraved in your subconscious from the many many times you called him from work. Your fingers seem to know what numbers to dial. Your walk next to him and when you sit, you rest your head on his shoulder where it seems to be at home. You know his thoughts from the look on his face. You go to new restaurants together and watch the biggest block buster movies while sharing sweet and salty popcorn. You know his every detail, his every hope and dream and in your mind, you’ve already grown old together and are sitting on the porch outside your home.
Sounds of shattering glass. Dim lighting.
You break up over little things that add on and on and become such a burden to you. You feel like you heart will explode. Life as you know it shatters into a million pieces and you feel like there is no life without him. His face is everywhere. You can still feel the touch of his hand and you can’t seem to find a place for your head. You walk without thought and everything is no longer right, everything is vague, everything is wrong. Only he exists clearly and completely. Your family, your friends, your career, and you, are no longer clear. You hold onto his face and hurt. Your chest is stabbed, the pain is unbearable and your dreams are burnt to ashes. You look at yourself in the mirror and can’t take your eyes off the emptiness where he used to stand. You sit for lunch at your usual place but your eyes keep wandering over to the chair next to you. Your hands pick up the office phone and your fingers start to dial his number. You suddenly stop and weep. You look through everything he gave you, the key chain, the necklace, the pen, they feel so right to be with you. Yet so wrong.
Hope, soft music.
You start forgetting. You no longer call his number by mistake and you no longer have your eyes wander at the empty chair. You fill it with people in your life. Sisters, brothers, friends and family come into focus. Your eyes start seeing other things. You start to smile and laugh. You start to enjoy your days and you start to focus on your face in the mirror, not the emptiness that once was. You focus on yourself, you pick up a new book, you go to new places and realize that not everything reminds you of him. You look back at your memories with him five times a day, then four, then three, and then twice, and finally you remember him only when you go to bed. And one morning, you wake up and he is no longer in your mind and you realize that you have already purchased a new key chain, a necklace, and a pen. You will wonder how tall he was and what color his eyes were. Brown? Hazel? The details that once were your everything turn to shadows. The face that was once always in focus starts getting forgotten and blurs into oblivion. Becomes a shadow that you no longer recognize. A faceless man in the crowd of life. No-one important.
Man’s shadow walking into the mist.
Leave a Reply