I wonder… if pilots have performance appraisals would it include “reduce the amount of turbulence by 70%” and “make sure to speak eloquently in the microphone so passengers can understand?”
Mobile phones are becoming a continuation of our bodies. They are forever glued to our hands and our eyes are always diverted towards the screen. Is it the fact that these smart gadgets are opening new realms and worlds through the net or are we just choosing to live our lives away from everyone? What amazing functionality have these mobile phones given us that they are taking over our thinking and daily relationships?
Let’s take the example of the calculator in the smart phone. Now for people who have I-phones you can imagine how easy it it to access the calculator and find out the answer you’re looking for, whether it’s 40 x 2 or 76213 x 761. It wouldn’t matter what the mathematical problem is, you are used to using the calculator on your phone that you have become dependent on it. I’m not sure whether or not school students today are required to actually use their brains to multiply, divide, add, and subtract or are they allowed to use their smart phones to help assist with these problems that, honestly, can be done in a shorter time period. Whether or not the development of their brains would be affected, I cannot say, I hope someone would actually conduct a study and we can find out 20 years from now how math actually helps/does not help us at all.
We used to have our friends’ phone numbers memorized, how many numbers do you know by heart? It’s so much easier to get your gadget (go-go-gadget) and press the name without even acknowledging that there’s a number stored or even realizing that if you’re put in a situation with a public phone you would have no idea what number to call (given that your phone’s battery is dead).
I am not against smart phones, I understand that they are helpful devices that can make our lives easier. An example of a great application is the maps that helps you get your location and find out how to get somewhere. Here conspiracy theorists will be glad to inform me of the dangers of smart phones and location services, having Big Brother watch, listen, and know where we are all the time. I doubt Big Brother cares where I buy my groceries, honestly, or when I talk about my day at work. Big Brother can probably listen to more important and interesting conversations that mine. 🙂
Relationships nowadays are being affected by the constant use of smart phones. When you’re with your mom, dad, husband/wife, sister, brother, and child, please have the decency to put the phone away. You do not need to see the latest trends nor do you need to hear the latest joke sent on your Whatsapp. You do not need to read the latest news about your favorite star nor do you need to look through the Instagram pictures of food, how to lose weight, latest fashion trends, or the bombardment of advertisements that just waste time. And no, you do not need to hear every single snap from our fellow bloggers; their lives only seems interesting because this is the part of their lives that they choose to show you.
So instead of watching other people’s lives, try living yours. Stop comparing your days to that of others, you don’t need to eat out everyday nor do you need to take pictures of your dinner if it’s just fish and chips. You do not need to hang on every single word coming from strangers because it’s not important. Think: what is important? Will I DIE if I miss out on today’s Snapchat? Is it your choice to watch someone’s day instead of living yours? What kind of relationship will we have with our friends and family if we are too busy to listen? How often have you put the phone down, kept it on silent, or stashed it away for a couple of hours just to spend time with others?
What matters most?
Who matters most?
Use your senses. Use your eyes to capture memories, you have enough pictures already. Live in the moment and cherish it in your heart. Be there for your child when he/she speaks to you; give them your undivided attention because they’re worth it. What use would pictures be when you’ve spent the last few years of your life using the smart phone instead of talking to your sick parent? What use would it be if you weren’t really there to hold their hands and look into their eyes? What use would it be if you aren’t saving and hanging onto every word they say? What use would it be if your husband/wife feels neglected because you choose to play your candy crush game before going to bed every night instead of talking about your fears and dreams while you hold each other?
Use your senses. Use your brains, accept your feelings, live your life and enjoy it.
What matters most? Who matters most?
This post is not targeted towards people who have a medical issue with weight, it is targeting people who have the ability to lose weight but are simply not doing so. I am in no way a nutritionist nor do I claim to have any medical background where I am getting my information. I am merely pointing out some things that I have seen and dealt with over the years. Please do not expect me to be a size 0 model either. “And don’t forget… I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her”- Notting Hill.
When it comes to weight, we all have our ups and downs. It all starts when we are first introduced to the weighing scale. “Hello, I am here to make your life miserable.” We start counting calories, buying magazines that have different diets suitable for the growing teenage girl (or boy), sometimes go to drastic measures of living on tic-tac’s for a while and all for what? To stop a bulging belly which, in fact, is just baby fat.
It really doesn’t matter what body shape you are blessed with, all that matters is that you are healthy and capable of exercising. You see, this is where the magic starts. Once an exercise routine is put in place at a young age, it usually sticks for life.
Have you ever wondered why kids put on weight once they get to college? It’s not just the junk they are so happily gulping down, it is the fact that PE classes no longer exist. Waking up at 5 a.m. no longer exists and walking from class to class no longer exist. We turn lazy and love the fact that we can sleep late at night and no one would care to wake us up to go to school because our parents, of course, don’t know our schedules and expect that we are adults.
You see those golden years filled with pizza? This is when it all matters. This is when you should pay attention to your weight because it all goes downhill from here. I’m glad college athletes get to work out and exercise because many other nerds, I mean people, can’t seem to find the time, regardless of the reason.
Then guess what comes after college… life.
Work: a place where you sitting at a sedentary position for eight hours. It doesn’t stop here, the cycle continues. For women who get married, they can’t get into their wedding dress after a year of marriage and why is that? Because we choose to be lazy. Some stop making an effort and others are blessed with pregnancy and child birth. Of course with kids the excuse of no time comes to place, and the years go by and the kilos go on.
A friend of mine decided to lose weight a few months ago. She was trying her best, talking to me about how important it is to lose weight and what it would mean to her. I thought to myself that she must be working hard and her efforts are paying off, right?
Wrong. She always had a reason not to start. There was always an excuse, a time constraint, a something… and a caramel frappuccino. A daily double caramel frappuccino including the whipped cream, the caramel in the cup and over the top, the full fat milk, and the smile from the barista. You see, when that nice looking barista in Starbucks asks if you want to add a slice of chocolate-loving cake run: run far far away! Do you think she can’t say (small, medium, and large) when it comes to drink sizes? Why do you think she has to over complicate things by calling them tall, grande, and I don’t ever remember the 3rd size. It’s all in the training to make you (and me) buy the bigger size and gain weight. She’s in on the conspiracy to make us fat.
Didn’t you ever wonder why healthy restaurants never asked if you wanted to up-size your salad? Didn’t you ever wonder why they never tried to sell you an apple with your fresh orange juice? They want us all to get fat.
So what’s the plan? These are a few steps that could actually work:
1- DECIDE: Make the decision to lose weight TODAY. Decide and keep in your mind that you will no longer accept any excuse.
2- THROW AWAY THE JUNK: Give away all junk food you have around your house and DO NOT BUY MORE JUNK. If you don’t have a bag of crisps in the cupboard you will not eat it. Instead, you can substitute with healthy snacks such as dried fruits and popcorn which is actually good for your health and heart (thumbs up).
3- Exercise: There is no running away from this point. You cannot lose weight without burning it. Find something you like to do and do it. Find an exercise partner if you want or get some exercises done anywhere around the house. You don’t need to join the gym and you don’t need the top notch equipment. Surprise your body in the middle of the day and squat, for example. Use the stairs, park your car further than usual, dance with your children. In general, move your body and try to burn as many calories as you can.
4- Before you eat anything, THINK: Ask yourself, “am I hungry or am I just bored?” Do you know that many people eat because they are bored! Also, when you are face to face with your favorite dessert, be strong and say, ‘I am stronger than you.’
5- EAT HEALTHY: eat healthy foods. Add fruits and vegetables to your diet, have brown bread and rice instead of white, do not eat fried food, stay away from junk food.
6- LOOK INSIDE FOR MOTIVATION: You will not find someone who is cheering you on more than yourself. Don’t expect people to leave their life to cheer you on. This is on you and for you. Don’t look for quick fixes, there are none. Make sure that you will benefit first and foremost. Reward yourself.
In conclusion, if you want to lose weight, make sure that you understand that it’s hard work. It takes commitment and time. Don’t expect it to be an easy pill that you can take and have the weight shed off you over night (wouldn’t that be great, though). It takes persistence. It’s not easy, we are not in an age where our food gets burnt easily so bear with your body. You are working with your body to achieve a better you. Partner up with yourself, have small goals you want to achieve and reward yourself.
Stop eating junk and you will feel better. Stop adding salt and sugar recklessly to your meals and please, please, please, stop ordering caramel frappuccino.
Image found on http://kikiochii.deviantart.com/art/Fashion-Sketches-1-4-134403761
At a certain age, we are all sucked into the idea of fashion and what is fashionable vs. what is not. I remember my first interaction with fashion was in the 7th grade when bell-bottoms were a hit. I had to beg my mother to get me a pair of, interestingly, cotton bell-bottoms and I was so happy wearing them on the free dress day in school. Back then, I didn’t get what was fashionable through the internet but through girls at school who probably got their fashion ideas from their parents or other sources such as magazines. At then, I never questioned the “in” girls, I just wanted to be “in”.
Or basically, not be “out”.
The next fashion statement we had in school were the Docs: Dr. Martens shoes. For those of you who don’t know what those shoes are, you can google them online and imagine little girls and boys wearing the boots version to school in very hot weather. It wasn’t the prettiest sight but no-one questioned fashion. In addition, they cost a lot of money but who was I to question them?
We grew older and realized that the “in” girls and boys weren’t as “cool” or “hot” or whatever word in currently used by this generation to show how hip a person is. I started not caring when they were wearing skirts instead of the boring serious uniform pants I chose because I started realizing who I was. By the way, even books were in or out of fashion so at that stage everyone was the same which really isn’t what school should be about.
Now this makes me wonder why our teachers weren’t so keen at making us understand that individualism was important and that each and every one of us is unique in a certain way? Aren’t teachers supposed to be our mentors who would guide us into understanding life better? What about our volleyball/basketball/soccer coaches? Weren’t they supposed to be closer? What about the counselor? Shouldn’t he/she help us go through the difficult time when we were all lost teenagers?
Well, I stayed away from fashion and the cabbage patch dolls and chose to pursue other matters. I realized that it doesn’t really matter what you wear as long as you’re fine with it and accepting it. You won’t see me wearing something out of this world but I can say that I have always dressed decently to never look back at a photo and cringe.
You know those photos, don’t you? The ones where you want to scream at your younger self “what are you thinking?!?!” Well, I do have some pictures with black lipstick but never again will I make that mistake.
Benjamin Franklin said, “eat what you like, but dress for other people.” I completely agree if people are normal and don’t come up with insane ideas. This will probably get me hated by many fashionistas who make a living by trying on, checking out, assessing, blogging (seriously I don’t know what they do but I’m sure it’s important because who am I to disrespect their work). Alright, yes fashion designers come up with some insane ideas sometimes but I think it’s society and the “in” girls who make it a trend.
Who is today’s fashion icon?
For example, a few years ago eyebrows were ridiculously thin that you could draw them using the eyebrow pencil. Next, eyebrows were cut in half where the outside half would be removed because, apparently, girls only need half an eyebrow. This was the “Chinese eyebrow” phase. Nowadays, eyebrows are thick but shapely. Interesting what people do to waste their time.
How much blusher is just enough? What’s up with the makeup contouring nowadays, we never had a problem with how our faces looked without it all those years, so why do we need to look sculpted all of a sudden?
Now comes the serious part. If you were invited to a birthday party with people you know are better dressed or more fashionably dressed than you, accessorizing and making sure all their bling was evident to the eyes of the beholder, and you were a mere guest, would you have the guts to dress the way you want? In our society, many women are covered so if you were a covered woman and were invited to a party with uncovered women (which is very normal), would you be expected to change the way you dress?
And do you allow fashion to take up a lot of your time? If so, why? Does it really matter what you wear or how happy you really are? Where is YOUR point on the spectrum of fashionable-unfashionable? Where are you content with yourself and not ridiculed by others. Image is important, but how important is it?
When parents choose schools for their children, they have in mind a specific social circle, a specific life style, and a specific group of people to be associated with. This is also kept in mind when purchasing a house or joining a country club. Being a part of a group matters, and being a part of a chosen group matters more.
Today, I came across a very very old VHS tape of an old school concert. Yes, you read it right, it was a tape and not a CD or DVD. Gladly, it was converted to a CD so we, in the 21st century, can have access to its hidden gems. A few minutes after laughing my head off, I started feeling nostalgic. All those people on the recording were a part of my life one day. You see, our school was a fairly young school back then so we knew all the students. A smile spread across my face as I saw myself dancing and trying to make sure I don’t miss a step. I saw people who I still have contact with on Facebook and people who I really wanted to know what became of them. Many different faces with many different stories: the boy who wrote me my first love letter and my cousin dancing along her once-best-friend.
Where did we all part ways?
When did this bunch of primary school students grow into teachers and engineers and racist lunatics and fanatics? How were we able to deviate so much from the group of sweet looking children dancing and smiling at our families in the crowd? How can one person grow up to be a politician whereas another be a yoga instructor? Did our parents really think this through when they enrolled us in the nursery?
When did our peaceful competition turn to hateful differences and racial discrimination? We never cared where any of us came from, when did we part ways? Where was the crossroad in our lives? I thought that graduation is the time where we would definitely part ways but I realized that we parted ways earlier. We parted ways when we started seeing the differences. We parted ways when we realized the difference in our backgrounds and starting comparing (and contrasting) ourselves. When we were all on that stage, everything was perfect, our individual differences made sense. Our makeup was done by our music teacher who loved us all individually, our hair was styled as we saw best (by we I mean our mothers), and our dresses were, honestly, gorgeous.
We were so pure and innocent, where did we give ourselves the right to judge? When did we think we were better and when did we lose sense of the dance of life? When did we all part ways?
Where did we all part ways?
عودي اليّ بعد يومكِ الطويل
وتقمّصكِ دور اللبؤة
تدافع عن صغارها وتجول في الاماكن
متيقضة، غامضة، وجاهزة للانقضاض
عودي اليّ واسدلي بشعركِ المسجون
اعتقيه من لفتّه الضاغطة
ودعيه يتمايل على ظهرك بتموّجه
دعيه يرتطم على صدري
كالبحر الغاضب
ودعيه يشعر بأناملي تحدّثه
وتسرد أخبار يومي المجنون
فأنا أتوق إلى الجلوس مع شعرك
لأخفي في طيّاته الكثير
عودي اليّ بعد يومكِ الطويل
وتقمّصك دور اللبؤة
اعيدي مخالبك إلى الدولاب
وامسحي وجههك الباهت من التعب
وضعي مساحيق الحب وائتني… قطة
تمشي باستحياء بثوبها المخملي
ائتني لأزيح همّك بابتسامة شكر
وأريح بالك بحلول منطقية
وأكون جبلا صامدا يحميك
لكيلا تكوني لي لبؤة
فهذا الدور لا يناسب عشّنا الصغير
كوني للناس لبؤة
وكوني لي… أنتِ
TV shows have a large impact on social life especially when it runs for more than a few years. Hanging out in coffee shops became popular after the TV show Friends and ladies jumped into Rachel’s (Jennifer Anniston) haircut from season two. Recently, many TV shows are related to doctors and so instead of Rachel’s beautiful shag we see men and women wearing their lab coats out in public.
The first question I would like to ask is why are you wearing the lab coat? Don’t hospitals offer you lockers? Do you go out of the house wearing them and keep them on? It is such a predicament to me that I cannot accept it. Now this was my opinion when I saw the doctors (residents, trainees, I’m not sure if someone just bought a lab coat to fit in) in Starbucks. Fine, doctors need coffee too and I would really appreciate a doctor high on caffeine; plus it’s a great place to sit and chat and study. The thing is, a few days ago I saw three women in lab coats walking in the mall! Now that is a new level of crazy.
Trying to think as a person working in HR and not a cynic, I thought that maybe these women were proud to be doctors and are ready to jump in whenever needed. Similarly, Bat Man walks around in his cape too. Therefore, they identify themselves as heroes and have high employee engagement. Now going back to TV, I’ve seen many movies when an accident occurs (specifically in air planes), the stewardess would shout “Is there a doctor here?” and a man a few seats back would say, “yes, I’m a doctor, give me some space.” And the action would continue. This man is usually not wearing a lab coat. Thus, lesson number one: you do not need to wear your lab coat to be a doctor.
When we are introduced to someone, a common question that comes up is “what do you do for a living?” Sometimes the question isn’t asked and we immediately think of informing the new acquaintance of our profession. Why is that? This is where I’d like to say you are not your job. The need to be identified with a career is making people concentrate on titles more than their actual growth in life. Children don’t need to inform each other what they do, we don’t see a child say that he is a student because it doesn’t matter. Does it really matter what you do for a living? Yes. But is it the only thing that identifies who you are? It shouldn’t be.
It’s true that we spend a big chunk of our adult life at work but we need to be reminded time and again that life is not work. The concept “work-life balance” needs to be renamed since they are not different, it’s just a matter of time management. Yes a part of who we are today is made up from what we do but it’s not the only thing. For example, a working mother understands the importance of juggling the different aspects in her life and so her role in life is more varied and she can “log off” when she leaves work because there are other pressing matters to tackle. The urge and desire to grow in our careers sometimes take our eyes away from the beauty of life, we are so preoccupied with the race that we are missing the scenery.
Life goes on, you don’t want to wake up and realize that you spent it at work.
There are Work life balance assessment tools that can be found on-line, this is the wheel of life with its different areas. Even without taking the assessment, you can immediately see what you are dismissing, whether knowingly or not.
*Example of Wheel of Life
Another thing to consider when trying to manage your time is your priorities. Identify your priorities in the Wheel and come to peace with your choices. If you end up with Family and Friends having a low number and you are ok with that, then it’s fine. There is no correct answer to how the wheel should look for it to function. It should just work for you. In addition, priorities change over time and you need to pay attention to these changes and change your life (and wheel) accordingly.
An interesting clip I found is Steven Covey’s First things first Youtube Clip which portrays time as a bowl. The woman in this clip is asked to fill the bowl with business related issues but imagine trying to fit your bowl with all life aspects. Time is limited and it’s what you do with your time that matters. Follow your dreams, look where you are going, and be thankful for what you have. You are not your job, you do not need to wear your lab coat everywhere because you are more than just what you do. Find out what you like and pursue it, you only live once.
نحتسي القهوة ونحن نعلم بأن مرارة الأيام
ليست بلذة مرارة القهوة
فنعيش معها واقعنا المرير
نتذكر الآهات ودروس الحياة الصعبة
نتذكر مَن كانوا معنا يوماً
وابتعدوا بلا سبب
ونتذكر من كانوا معنا يوماً
وابتعدوا بعدألف سبب
وألف غصّة
وألف دمعة
ونحتسي القهوة المُرّة
نتذكر مرارة الفراق
ونغوص في احلامنا المتكسّرة
فنكاد نراها أمامنا خلال البُن الداكن
الا انها تتضح
سراب
فنأخذ رشفة أخرى نتعذب بالمرارة
قهوتنا: واقعنا المرير
وذكرياتنا المؤلمة
واحلامنا المتكسّرة
فربما (دلق) القهوة
يُبعد الشر فلا نتذكر
شر ذكرياتنا وافكارنا
وخيالنا الجامح
(وألف (لَو
خذيني يا قهوتي الى الماضي
واتركيني أسبح في جراحي
وأذوب
لأشرب بعد مُر قهوتي
كوباً من الماء
يصفّي ذهني
ويعود بي الى اليوم
لا تشح بوجهك عني
انظر ما اصبح من حالي
كنت في بلدي البسيطُ
طفلٌ يلعبْ، ولا يبالي
حالتي، نعم، لم تسرُّ
ولكن امي كانت قبالي
تقبّلني كلَّ يومٍ
ارتمي دوماً في الأحضانِ
تُلبسني احمر او اخضرْ
تشتري كلُّ ما في بالي
كنتُ مدلَّلٌ محبوبٌ
تَعَبَتْ لتوفِّر كلُّ آمالي
ويوماً سَمِعْتُ أنّ الحربَ
جائَت لِتسرِقَ كلُّ ما لي
أصبَحَتْ امي كالمجنونة
مصدومة بهالاحوالِ
ولا زِلتُ العبْ وأرقص
فما الداعي لكل قتالِ؟
مطمئنٌ كنتُ كلّ ليلة
العب، أرضع، فأنامِ
وتبقى امي ساهرةً
تضرِبُ اخماسٍ واسداسِ
كأنها علمت بأن الموتَ
سَيُخلِّد يوماً أنفاسي
وجاء ذا اليوم المشؤومُ
انقلبت كلُّ حساباتي
لن اكبرَ وأصبح طبيبا
سأكونُ عَبْرةَ الجيّاشِ
احضنّي يا بحر، احضنّي
لن اري قلمْ او كرّاسِ
سلامٌ لك يا كُرَتي
سلامٌ يا كلّ النَّاسِ
فها أنا ذا الطفلُ البسيطُ
افضحُ نوايا ذوي الكراسي
خيالُ طفلٍ على شاطئ
مات، ومات الإحساسِ
Bedoor Bluemoon 