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Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

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Can We Measure Common Sense?

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You meet many different types of people at work who lack the skill set to perform, but in my opinion, many things can be taught and learned with the correct performance appraisals, coaching, mentoring, and showing them the way.  The problem is when it comes to common sense: how can it be measured and how can you actually hire and then fire someone with the reason “lacks common sense?”

Firstly, what is common sense?  In the minds of managers, common sense is the way the employee conducts him/herself by abiding by the rules of logic set by the manager.  This is where the mix up starts.  Managers expect their employees to have the commonsense that is equal to theirs.  The problem is, human beings’ common senses is a compilation of their cultural background, personalities, logic, and database of experiences.  How can managers expect their employees to have the same common sense if they have been born, raised, and worked in a different environment?

A simple example is when a manager, without being too stereotypical, was a star baseball player calls in his employees and asks them for a “home run.”  One of his employees who just came in from the middle east, for example, wouldn’t necessarily understand what is meant by his figure of speech and asks.  The manager would immediately think that the employee lacks the common sense because, come on, who doesn’t understand this simple reference to baseball.  No, things don’t necessarily translate well between languages or cultures.  The differences in words describing the same item are clear in multicultural and diversified workplaces in such an evident manner that employees may start joking around without realizing that language barriers in addition to cultural barriers are causing communication gaps.

Common sense is the tacit knowledge a person acquires throughout his years: they include cultural norms and background, personal and professional experiences, personality traits, and all other outside factors that affect the person’s judgment.

To work in a diversified company, employees must understand that their definition of common sense is not easily transferable to other employees; different cultures have a different definition of common sense.  Even though many things can get lost in translation, it’s the misunderstanding that can cause harm in the organization’s harmony.  Many companies either give out a handbook or conduct an induction training for employees to inform them what is considered right and what is wrong in the company and how to conduct oneself.  The trick here is to be able to adapt quickly to the organization’s culture and common sense; should this be considered organizational behavior?

Some companies have the norm of working extra hours without being paid overtime.  Now, a female employee who has other responsibilities at home, would be glad to work for eight hours but as soon as the clock strikes five and she starts going out of the door, her colleagues look at her funny.  It’s the organization’s culture.  She’s not doing anything wrong but they are pressuring her to stay for longer hours just to be part of the accepted group.  Then all the bickering starts about how she leaves at five and doesn’t work hard enough.

Now to my story.

I cannot say that our company is vastly diversified but there are just some things that, I believe, should be considered common sense.  In my studies when discussing the difference in generations at work, it is commonly stated that generation Y employees are very keen on the environment and making a stand to what they believe.  I liked that concept since I took part in many beach clean ups and extinct species reports when I was younger.  And of course, throughout my childhood, I was expected to care for paper: to reduce, reuse, and recycle.

In comes the Gen-Y secretary.

I had some employee files I wanted to file away in the archives and thought that I could ask her to do so.  It’s not that I asked her to do something terribly difficult because she was the person who opened the archive files in the first place and arranged them as she saw correct.  Thus, she was using HER common sense when filing.  I give her seven to ten hanging files (as seen above in the image), some of which are perfectly new and some of which needed to be thrown out ages ago.  Thinking that she has the common sense to distinguish the difference, I did not think of giving her any extra details in my request.

A few days later, I call her up and ask about the employee files:

Me: where are the employee files?

Secretary: I filed them in the box files

Me: no the actual hanging files

Secretary: huh?

Me: the green files

Secretary: I threw them

Me: What?

Secretary: I threw them

Me: can you come up please?

In this instance, I think there is some kind of misunderstanding.  My brain could not get around the idea that she threw away the hanging files.  She comes up and I show her one of the files as a sample.  She repeats that she threw them out.  The million dollar question here is why?  Why did you throw them?

Secretary: (Silence)

Me: They were perfectly new files

Secretary: (silence).

Me: (still in shock and disbelief) did anyone teach you anything about trees and how this is all a waste?!

Secretary: silence

Phone rings, I pick it up and it’s another manager

Me: Please come and explain to Ms. X about the importance of recycling.  (throw my hands up in submission and ask her to go out).

MORAL OF THE STORY: when giving out directions, be very specific because people can’t read your mind.

Should businesses around the world have a universal language or common sense?  Are there already established rules and regulations when it comes to working with businesses from other countries especially with the emergence of e-commerce?

Is there really a big gap in common sense between people from different countries with social networking?  If music is global, books are global, movies are global is the youth in the USA living differently than the youth in Japan?  Being people of the world instead of being associated to one country diminishes some differences in culture (and thus common sense) so youth can easily understand what their counterparts mean when they bring up that amazing hit song of their time.

Are people all required to live a certain way to be accepted and whose culture is the accepted alpha-culture?  What about religion and other taboos that take a big part in some people’s lives, are they supposed to be left at home?  People are made up of their past experiences and thus cannot be requested to leave who they are.  But in terms of working in multicultural environments, the personal common sense must be set aside (or in the back of the minds) and the overall business common sense be ruling.

But does this lack of diversity in a multicultural environment hinder creativity and encourage group thinking?  Aren’t the best companies those who question all processes and procedures and nurture people’s differences?

Roald Dahl: Simple or Complex?

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After watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory over 70 times in the past 3 months and memorizing it by heart, I have come to question reality as I saw it.  Things are no longer as simple as they once were and, interestingly enough, I have come to believe that chocolate is made by oompa loompas.

Dahl’s amazing creativity is evident in his children books (of which I read just a few) and come to question whether the books were written as a good fiction or do they carry in their pages something of a deeper nature?  Although Dhal isn’t a psychologist, I must respect the fact that his experience does give him validity to be an observer and storyteller.  How so?  Firstly, Dahl portrays five children and their respective parents in the book.  I found out that Dahl had up to 9 different children who were to enter the chocolate factory with Charlie.  By choosing to stick with five, Dahl decided to shine light on the gluttonous Augustus Gloop, the competitive Violet, the spoiled Veruca, and the television addict Mike Teavee.  It could be safe to say that Dahl chose these five characters and personalities because he saw them as the most destructive to children.  It could also be safe to say that Dahl may have encountered people in his childhood (or later life) and got so shocked by their personalities that he believed they should be punished.

One of the issues that Dahl was criticized over was the fact the the antagonists are the “bad” children.  Although the children were portrayed as stereotypes of how-kids-should-not-act, their parents were also portrayed as reasons behind their characters.  So whose fault is it that Augustus keeps getting chocolate whenever he feels like it?  Is Dhal trying to enforce parents into taking responsibility over their children’s negative personality traits or is he placing the blame on Willy Wonka.  Also, who gave Willy Wonka the right to discipline these children (and their parents) by using different sadistic punishments such as being blown up into a blueberry and getting the juice squeezed out or by being pulled in the toffee maker after being shrunk in size?  Yes, the children should have learned their lessons but does Dahl really tell readers (and viewers) how to best act?

Is Roald Dahl Charlie or Willie Wonka?

The five golden tickets that were sent out to people around the world were sent to find an heir for Willy Wonka’s factory.  In the story, the children didn’t know what the prize was but were happy just to enter the factory.  What about you?  Where would your golden ticket take you and what would be the grand prize?  Many people work hard to go on vacations but how can that vacation be turned into a prize (and thus a lifestyle?)  The golden ticket takes you to two places: one is temporary and is a test and the other is the grand prize.  We should strive to make sure that we do not get sidetracked by the “chocolate” along the way and concentrate on getting the real deal.

But did Charlie even get sidetracked or did he live his experience vicariously through the other four and was just lucky enough to be the last man standing?  So is that the way Dahl thinks we should win life?

Is Willy Wonka’s factory a representation of life?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp’s sarcastic comments gives it a little more humor for adults while children watch the plot unknowingly, nodding at Johnny Depp explaining that “everything in this room is eatable, even I’m eatable! But that is called “cannibalism,” my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.”  Is this a Dahl  comment or Tim Burton’s twist on things?  So, just as the movie has a different perceptive level suitable for adults, Dahl may have entrusted his book to hold some philosophy over children personalities, dealing with the antagonist within us, and the best way to fix bad children is through punishment.

What I prefer to question is where my golden ticket would take me and would I be the end winner of the grand prize.

Simple?  No, Roald Dhal was more complex than a few children’s books and would surely get his philosophies and life wisdom and ideas into children’s books.

 

كوب من القهوة


احتاج لشرب كوب من القهوة

لا أستطيع ان افكر

ان اجمع افكاري المبعثرة

كأوراقي

كنظارتي الواقعة على الأرض

كشنطتي الملقاة على كرسي

بلا مبالاة

ففي رأسي الف فكرة وفكرة

والتساؤلات تهاجمني من كل مكان

فاحتاج ان أتمهل

ان اشرب كوب من القهوة

فأحيانا تكون القهوة

هي الحل

Dreams of a Blue Moon

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Another book I was working on for a while, Dreams of a Blue Moonembraces 50 sentimental poems that narrate feelings of love, hope, and pain. It uncovers deep emotions and doubts about finding and losing a loved one. It is an exposure of the soul at its core and the everlasting search for the blue moon that is true love.

Click here to Buy it on Amazon for $12.50

Click her to buy a Kindle Edition for $4.99

 

The Lie That is Brown Sugar

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Lately, people are becoming more nutritionally conscious and care about what goes into their bodies.  This isn’t to say that we never cared before, it’s just that nowadays the overall direction of people is towards healthy living and green diets, therefore our trending hashtag is #healthyliving.

Restaurants (specifically fast food) are requested  and maybe even obliged to supply their customers with the calories and nutritional information each item on their menu contains.  Some also altered their menus to provide health conscious customers with a variety of items to choose from such as lean meat brown pasta with tomato sauce instead of pepperoni pizza.  Ingredients like quinoa, kale, and edamame are suddenly popping up in menus and markets for people to buy.

Also interestingly, some people are religiously defending the idea that human beings are not supposed to consume cow’s milk after the age of three.  It is said that cow’s milk is custom designed for calves and humans could actually lose their calcium by drinking cow’s milk.  Instead, we humans can substitute it with almond or soy milk because almond and soy milk are not custom designed for almond and soy babies.

The other day I asked my husband to get some brown sugar cubes because we were running out.  He got a pack of white sugar and a pack of brown sugar cubes stating that there is no difference in the nutrition facts on the packs and that I should compare them.  I chose to consider his comment later on because if what he said was true it would mean that one of the pillars of my beliefs would be susceptible to questioning and there’s never a good time for that.  So instead, I took his word for it and a few days later I googled “what is the difference between brown and white sugar.”  Surprisingly, google laughed out loud and answered nothing much.

What I reached in my research is the following:

1- White sugar is more processed than brown sugar

2- Brown sugar contains molasses and thus tastes a bit different

3- Brown sugar has bigger crystals

4- Brown sugar looks more organic

5- Nutritional value of brown sugar is slightly more than white but not significant enough for it to be measured

So what now?  Should I start questioning the cow’s milk?  Should I start questioning brown vs white rice, brown vs white bread, and brown vs. white eggs?  Should there even be a difference if we are vouching for equality?

So the lie that is brown sugar has finally been revealed.  The next time you see someone choose brown sugar instead of white to sweeten their drink, chuckle a little inside and let them be.  Their perceptions could make a difference as per the placebo effect (the sugar pill experiment where a group of people were given real medicine and another group were given sugar pills and had similar results in their treatment.)  It is the importance of beliefs and obviously nutritional values are on top of people’s lists these days.  It’s a great way of opening new business opportunities, I tell you.

If I Were A Pair Of Maracas

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It was always a dream to be able to publish some of my writings and, to my surprise, the first book that was ready for sale is my If I Were A Pair Of Maracas book.

A story about a little girl who lost her maracas one day, you are invited to join little Suzie in her search with her mother.

Special thanks to Desiree Dimech for her great illustrations.

I already have a separate link on top of the page for easier access.

More books to come, happy reading.

click here to Buy it on Amazon for $11.95

click here to buy a Kindle Edition for $3.99

Advice to your Younger Self

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A few days ago I was feeling nostalgic and the question, ‘what advice would you give yourself’ popped into my mind so I posted it on my Instagram.  I got one reply only.  I was expecting people to interact with my question given its severity and depth but, apparently, people are just like me: we choose not to think of this.

Why is that? Because it would mean that we have regrets in our lives and the more you dig into the ‘what ifs’ the more you will end up feeling like you should have known better.

Yes, you should have known better but this is you today comparing yourself to you back then.  You didn’t reach where you are today nor who you are without being that pimple faced lost teenager who doesn’t know better. The journey of being who you are started with that weirdo you once were and its alright.

Let’s go back to the question: what advice would you give your younger self? Would it be related to your health, wealth, social status, or what?  The advice, in my opinion, would probably be something that is aching you today, making you lose sleep and which still feels painfully real. So your advice is basically the issue in your life. You know when people say ‘he’s got issues?’ This is the ‘issue’ they’re referring to.

For me, till this day, I choose not to answer this question. I am too scared to look inside my soul and search for the thing that makes me ache but which, interestingly, is what makes me ‘me’. It is the thing that I know in my subconscious but act like I don’t which pushes it back even further to my inner soul and personality. I choose to coward away from looking inside, from choosing to unravel the complexity of myself. I choose to live today accepting the fact that I made mistakes and that I learned from.

Would you go back and do things differently?

If I could see what path it would lead to and I have my current blessings wih me would it be a better choice? It’s similar to a choose your own adventure book which were once so very popular. You get to make decisions in place of the character and I kept on peeking into the consequences of my decisions just to realize that it’s very rare that the book gives you a good ending so, why exchange what I have today and where I stand today for the unknown?

People who are regretting where they are and what they went through, please count your blessings. Count your blessings and know that grass isn’t necessarily greener on the other side and if it is, try watering your own grass and make a difference in your life.

What advice would I give my younger self? Stop fretting and start doing. Things aren’t as complicated as they seem. Take control of your emotions and embrace them, speak up, and live.

Financial Independence

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The best things in life are free, but when you are in a situation where you have no source of income, you wouldn’t be able to eat the beautiful flowers covering the garden nor could you trade in beautiful sunny days for rent.  You are stuck with the decisions you made throughout your career and a bunch of overdue bills.  Now what can you do?

Well, one important fact to constantly keep in your mind is that there are many things that happen in the outside world which affect people.  Recall  the PESTLE analysis which shines light on different areas that can affect businesses. It puts a lot of things in perspective when you consider a slight technological advancement could cost you your job, maybe we should consider bribing scientists to get inside information and be prepared to jump ship beforehand.

Remember the economic crisis in 2008 and the number of people who were unemployed overnight?  Bankers who were able to afford huge houses and annual trips with their families were suddenly out of jobs.  This is my question to you: are you financially stable enough to survive unemployment tomorrow?  How long can you survive without income?

How can you make sure that your contract is not ended abruptly while you sip your coffee one morning?  You can’t because sometimes terminations occur for a variety of reasons.  So what’s the plan?

Be prepared at all times.

1- Enter the job market early.  I am not against college education, on the contrary I vouch for education but if you were given the opportunity to work, work.  At 19 years old, you do not have a lot of responsibilities and if you can study and work at the same time you should do it.  This gives you an edge over many of your classmates who are studying as you are getting real life experience.  This experience helps in your studies also since you will be able to bring real examples from work back to your classroom.  Also, any source of income gives you financial independence at an earlier time (and you will be able to retire sooner if you wish)

2- Know your consumption and expenses well:  you cannot save money without knowing where it all goes.  For one month keep track of all your expenses.  Are you using up 10% of your income on coffee?  Are you spending 30% on fine dining?  Where does the money go?  You can have a simple excel sheet or a free mobile app that keeps track of your expenses.  Alternatively, keep all your bills in one place and review them at the end of the month.  When you realize that you are spending money on things that don’t matter, you will finally shine a bit of light in your sleeping consciousness.

3- Plan a budget:  Think of where you want to spend your income and start with paying yourself now.  Keep a specific amount monthly as savings for your future.  You could open a different savings bank account and immediately pay yourself as soon as you receive your salary.  This retirement/emergency fund would be very useful in cases of sudden unemployment.

4-  Do not get into debt- by debt I mean credit cards and personal loans.  If you can’t afford it on your income why stress your budget and stretch it to its limit?  If you have a credit card, pay it off on time and try to get rid of it.  The feeling of freedom.

5- Do not buy what you can’t afford- no you don’t need that Fendi bag

6- Think of spending as an investment- what if I need to sell this later on, would I be able to regain some or most of its value

7- Keep your change- you’d be surprised how much money you can save by saving your change everyday.  Keep a small basket next to the door of your home and keep all change inside.  Encourage your significant other to do the same.

8- Shop smarter- look for bargains, go out of your way to get to the better priced shop, and when always keep a shopping list that would help keep you in check with your actual needs.

10- Eat from home- the margins restaurants have on food is immense.  A simple sandwich from home can save you a lot of money especially if you buy your lunch everyday.  Eat out less: treating yourself to a dining experience is great if you have the money but why waste it?

11- Prioritize your values and spend accordingly

12- Unless it’s urgent, sleep on it.  Give yourself one night to think of it and maybe, just maybe, you might change your mind.  You could also realize that the feeling of needing the item will definitely diminish strongly and you will be able to see the actual importance (or lack of) of the item.  Yes, a cute black dress is amazing at this price but do you really need it when you don’t go out?

14- Look for offers and coupons. It’s not a trick nor a conspiracy to buy more, its just a promotion technique that you can benefit from if you think of it wisely.  Why is the promotion put and what can you benefit from it?

15- Learn to share and split the cost. Share your ride to work, your vacation trip, or anything.  This is not you being stingy, this is you being smart.

16- Pass on the knowledge- teach your kids early how to be smarter financially.

Take control of your income and expenses, do not let your emotions drive you into oblivion and bankruptcy.  Think before you take your wallet out and don’t get pulled in by fashionistas who are eager to cheer you on.  Remember, they are just doing their job and yours is to take care of your future.

The Dark Side of Leadership

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There are many studies today that show the difference between a “boss” and a “leader.”  What we see portrayed is the fact that being a boss is a bad thing whereas being a leader is a good thing.  A leader is always portrayed as someone who is willing to take part in the tasks, shows his followers how to do things (versus just ordering them into doing them), and the cheerleader for the team.  What is not portrayed much is the dark side of leadership.

People are not machines.  They contain many emotions, biases, and predispositions.  So when a person is given the role of a leader, it does not make them immediately correct in everything they say and do.  The problem is, many leaders think that with their new roles and duties, they are suddenly invincible.  So how can we make sure not to get sucked into being the next Hitler?  How can we make sure that we have followers who are continuously questioning our thinking and making us grow instead of stay in one place?  The human’s natural thirst for power and drunkenness can make it a sweet sweet place to be but, if you are in a position where you are not questioned, then only you can question yourself.

The Johari Window as seen below illustrates our relationships with others and ourselves.  A quick explanation of the 4 windows:

 

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1-  Arena:  Things that are known to you and known to others.  These are the obvious traits that people see and that you identify as part of yourself

2- Facade: Things that are known to you but not known to others; they are covered by a mask (or a facade) of other traits

3- Blind spot:  Things that people see but you don’t see in yourself.  Now, many people are probably thinking of their bosses and laughing now.  Don’t forget that this is about you, not your bosses.

4-  Unknown:  Traits that neither you nor others know.  This may seem evident later on and could be a good surprise.

The whole purpose of knowing that there is a blind spot is to accept that you can get to know yourself better.  360 degree performance evaluations could help shine light on this blind spot, making it smaller.  In the end, don’t we want to get to know ourselves better?

The first step towards change is the willingness to change.  Do we really accept and want to take part in getting to know ourselves or are we too scared to see what is hidden?  Joseph Conrad’s final judgment in The Heart of Darkness was “the horror, the horror”. Are we too scared to face the horror that lives within?

Now, this is a quick list of some difficult leaders just to make sure if you are of one type or are dealing with one:

1- The micro-manager:  This is pretty straight forward.  The micro manager makes sure to oversee every single little minute detail of every single little minute project.  Why?  Because they are probably egotistical perfectionists who think no-one can do the job the way they want it to be done.  Now, imagine if your mother micro managed you while you were getting your homework done.  Would you have learned anything?  No.  What better way to teach people than to allow them to experience and make mistakes.  To all micro managers out there:  you are giving yourself a hard time and over complicating your job.  Learn to delegate and overlook variances in the outcome your subordinates submit.  Try to be a “teacher” and teach.

A few years ago, I had a specific method of filing, hole punching, and stapling papers.  In my micro-managerial mind, it didn’t take a scientist to know that all papers had to gently folded in the middle to ensure that the hole punch is correct.  The staple had to be on the top left side almost 1/4 of an inch from the top.  I never talked about it to my assistant and one beautiful morning, I was presented with a bunch of papers with the staple in the top middle.  WHY?  How am I supposed to read the document?  Can you imagine?  If you can’t please go ahead and staple some papers and give me your feedback.  What I learned from this is (no, I will not overlook this very important matter) during the interviews I ask the candidate to demonstrate how to punch and staple some papers together.  Win-win situation!

2- The procrastinator:  A manager who will do things eventually.  This, my dear friends, could be a blessing in disguise.  How so?  You don’t need to do anything and when your manager asks, throw the ball in their court and wait for a decision that will never be made.  I’m not a procrastinator so I don’t have any anecdote to serve as an example.  In my opinion, get things done in advance, try to stick to a schedule, and meet with your manager regularly to get your next task assigned.  Make sure that you are doing your job because, who knows, maybe you will end up being promoted into your manager’s job!

3- The idiot:  Honestly this could just be your point of view.  Some managers get promoted for a variety of reasons, most could be office politics.  You could be working for someone who seemingly doesn’t know what’s going on but this can also be played to your advantage.  Befriend your manager and maybe, just maybe, you could find out what qualities he has.  Don’t look too hard, sometimes there’s nothing inside. Hello!

4- The dictator: The basic dictator who likes to do things his own way.  Hopefully you are not being asked to do something wrong or illegal but when someone really cares about the job, that’s when it hurts.  What’s worse is when the dictator is also an idiot.  Ah, this, my friend, is an indicator to look for another job because in the end, people don’t leave companies, they leave managers.

5- The abuser: the abuser needs to know that it’s not alright to abuse.  Chandler’s boss in the clip below is using his power as a manager to praise his employees in a not so polite way.  Yes, it seems funny but this is a manager who has crossed over to the dark side of leadership.  You  are given the power but you are not supposed to abuse it.

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Friends- Chandler and his boss

Now, normal people with emotions and feelings and with limited years of experience could be put in a situation where their temper could spiral out of control.  For example, a very nice manager I know was in a disciplinary meeting with a few employees trying to figure out something about someone (she doesn’t even remember what the meeting was about).  She was getting opposing facts, people pointing fingers at one another, and sheer chaos.  After listening patiently for ten minutes (patience isn’t one of her strengths) she decided to pass out warning letters to everyone just to flex her muscles.  Now she’s not a very big person and her employees were older men and women so they probably saw her as an “idiot”.  She quickly and angrily jotted down the points on a piece of paper and asked them to sign them.  The first two employees signed without saying anything and the third just refused.  He just said no and started to walk away.  We have a saying in Arabic that means if you can’t reach something with your hand, reach for it with your leg.  No hand nor foot would have reached the employee quick enough, and to our surprise, a quick throw of the pencil hit him on his leg.  No he wasn’t hurt but seriously, it is NOT ALRIGHT TO THROW PENCILS AT YOUR EMPLOYEES!

Being leaders come with great responsibility.  Try to get to know yourself better, be open to criticism, obtain an open door policy, get to know your own strengths and weaknesses, try to grow your knowledge.  Being a leader is not a ticket to make people run your errands nor is it a way to start your own cult for the sake of your ego.  Do not be sucked into the dark side of leadership.

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