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Bedoor Bluemoon

Everyday writing to expose the soul

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Let your Don be a Quixote


Image from http://quirkyberkeley.com/don-quixote-and-the-windmills/

The well known novel of Don Quixote talks about the adventures of a man who has read so many chivalric romances that he lost his sanity and decided to revive chivalry and fix the world under the name of Don Quixote. After getting himself on his ‘stud’, Don Quixote comes upon wind mills and sees them as giants that he wishes to engage in fierce and unequal combat. The novel goes on.

 

I am not a literary critic nor have I any sense or right to talk about this marvelous work of literature. I know, however, that the sad reality behind Don Quixote’s insanity lays in the comedy that is life. By ‘comedy’ I do not mean the insanity Quixote is in, but the insanity we as humans enforce upon ourselves to tailor our senses into what we think is right.

 
Going out and coming back into my flat everyday, I use the elevator with my almost-two year old son. There’s a nice long crack on the side of the mirror in the elevator and I never really saw it as more than a danger if not changed since kids in our building could very easily be playing in the elevator and a wrong move could shatter the mirror. For a few days, my son points at the crack, smiles, and says ‘rainbow’.

 
Much like Quixote’s Sancho, I couldn’t see the rainbow.

 
I couldn’t see the beauty in the crack nor could I see how it was interpreted to be one. I looked closely, there are no reflected colorful lights coming out of the mirror, it was a very normal crack. The first time my son said ‘rainbow’ I said, ‘no, it’s a crack.’ He ignored me and kept seeing the rainbow. I really hope that he continues to see rainbows in place of cracks.

 
Now the question is, why do we find it so easy to tailor our senses based on what we learned? Yes, all the tacit knowledge we have in our minds cannot be unlearned which, in the long run, takes us away from all creativity and submits us to the mold that is ‘human.’

 
Creative thinkers, artists, musicians, and theorists do not let themselves succumb to this mold and do not allow any outside constraints on their minds. We are told to ‘think outside the box’ when looking for creative answers, but the issue is the way we think. Rules and givens that make up our lives should be challenged when looking for answers. In the movie The Matrix, Neo meets some children with the oracle, one child was bending a spoon using his mind. The question is not how to bend the spoon, there is no spoon.

 
I realized that telling our children ‘no’ eats away at their creativity bit by bit and thus we are shaping them into what we deem fit. Yes discipline is important and so is the enforcing of our values but there must be a time and place where children can be children without us questioning their rainbows.  Let our Dons be Quixote’s.

My Boy

 

Let me hold you, my boy

Let me hold you tight

Let me hold you all day

Let me hold you all night.

 
Let me hold you before

You go running around

Before you start walking

And your feet touch the ground.

 
Let me hold you before

You want to go play

For I will miss you so much

When you’re far away.

 
I held you in my womb

You were next to my heart

Giving birth to you

Was being torn apart.

 
When I hold you close

My heart you will hear

I want you in my arms

Forever, my dear.

 
Let me hold you close

Let me hold you tight

You are the only thing I did

That I know was right.

Hold your Horses- Reality Funnier than a Joke

 

When I was in elementary school, not a very long time ago, our English teacher was giving us a class on idioms and figurative speech.  For people who don’t remember, idioms are basically sayings that are used to express the meaning of the situation with a bit of drama and pizzazz.

That’s when we learned “it’s raining cats and dogs,” “the grass is always greener on the other side” and “it’s not my cup of tea.”  Interestingly, I thought that was the last time I’d come across idioms since, in the real world and specifically in the business world, there’s no place for idioms (or emoticons.)

I was wrong.

Imagine this: I was sitting in my office with my business hat on trying to follow up on a shipment that was delayed for no apparent reason.  So I, being very professional in my emails, started with a courtesy, asked nicely but firmly about the shipment, and ended with a nice closing.

A few minutes later, I get a reply that started with my name misspelled. (long pause)  This is not and never is a good start to any email.  A few lines into the email I come to a halt staring at the unimaginable words: (please hold your horses).

WHAT????

I was dumbfounded.  I could not believe that anyone would use such rude and unprofessional words in a business context. But what I did learn in this situation is if you want to catch someone off guard, use an idiom.

For reference, these a few:

1- It’s raining cats and dogs – can be used when a colleague you barely know brings up the weather to fill in the silence.  You can say, “it’s raining cats and dogs” if it is raining heavily but you could also say “it’s not raining cats and dogs”

2-“the grass is greener on the other side”- can be used when your boss is scolding you and you feel like you are getting fired.  Please note that you will probably get fired after this

3- It’s not my cup of tea- can also be used with your boss when he/she gives you work you are not comfortable doing or you just don’t want to do.  Please note that this is not good for your performance evaluation.  Alternatively, you can also use it when someone is asking about an actual cup of tea in the break room.  To do so, you need to position yourself in the break room and have a cup of tea near you but not directly in front of you.  Try to engage the person in a conversation regarding the item he/she is holding.  For instance, start with, “is this your sandwich?” then casually say while pointing to the cup “it’s not my cup of tea.”

4- Hold your horses- also hazardous but you could get away with it when talking to your fellow colleagues.

And finally

5- You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.  DO NOT USE THIS.  THIS MAY BACKFIRE IN SO MANY WAYS!

Choose your words wisely, they can move mountains.

Nights

 Nights.

When a dear one departs, nights are the worst.  You are left with your own thoughts and memories. You are left with the emptiness of the furniture. You are left with an empty chair, an empty bed, and a lot of clothes.

Clothes and possessions of your loved one. Night time passes by so slowly and you are stuck with clothes … Stuck with a hair brush, a bottle of shampoo, and shoes.

Stuck with a Facebook account you have no password for and you just stare at the screen.  You go back to the closet and run your hand over one of the tops.  You remember the time you bought it together and the many times you discussed throwing it away. You wonder if you have to throw it away now.

You clasp your fist around the fabric as hard as your heart is clenched and a tear rolls down your cheek.

Night.

No one to talk to, no one to help you forget the bedside table with the stain where a coaster should have been.

You look over at the closet again. Too many clothes.

Night time is the worst.

You are left with many unclaimed possessions… Darkness… And clothes.

(الله يمسح على قلبكم بيت عمو مجيد)

Faith

  Faith: the light that enlightens out paths, the rock that holds our backs, and the center of our heart.  

Without faith we cease to believe, cease to hope, and cease to be.  
Faith in a stronger God, a mightier God, and a merciful God. Faith in the good and the positive. Faith in knowing that things happen for a reason, that life is worth something, and that your life is not in vain.  Knowing that someone is loving you for you. Knowing that God listens to your heartbeat, listens to your wishes, and understands your every thought.

Knowing that brings peace and comfort to your soul. Knowing that life is not created by coincidence, but by a higher power with reason. Knowing we are living for a reason, that there are givens in our lives, and a path created for you. Choices made just for you and paths chosen by you with God holding your hand in every step. 
A caring God.

A loving God. 

Best Decision Ever

Tough Decisions Ahead Road Sign

High school, for many of us, brings back memories. Some we may wish to remember and some we wish to forget. All in all, high school was and will always be a part of growing up. We went through ups and downs, we had our best friends who we thought would be there forever, and we had heart aches. Our biggest concern was our upcoming exam and our biggest dilemma was which university to apply for. It was a truly ambiguous and vital part of our lives.

Getting where I am today in my career had basically NOTHING to do with my high school decisions. How, how, and HOW do you expect a 17 year old to decide what they want to do for the rest of their life!!?? I would like to think that things happen for a reason and fate plays an important part in our lives so I am very grateful in where I stand today. Just to clue you in, my little group of besties were always discussing everything of no importance and nothing of significant importance. So when college applications were going out, no one spoke to the other about them because, well, they were important. I assumed I would have some input from my friends but when we got into the 12th grade I realized two were flying off to the U.S. and the third was flying off to Scotland. Hmm, this was the first time I realized that people planned their lives and I should start planning mine.

Aha moment.

I ended up going to the University of Bahrain because I thought studying in hell would prepare me for life and I was right. The mere registration process takes perseverance, patience, and strategic planning. We would walk around like headless chickens trying to get our papers signed, stamped, have seats added, just to go back and start all over again. Well, life in UOB was interesting, kinda like giving birth.

Two years into my bachelors degree, I am supposed to sign up for an internship in a company set up by someone-in-charge. I got an IT assistant position in a securities and investment company where the IT manager was a great mentor. The place was very laid back and professional and I finally got my first pay check. It was an amazing feeling and I thought to myself that I can now be independent and earn my own money. 💪 After the two month internship period, I got offered a job there and I was so excited. The only thing is that if I chose to accept the job I will have to change my studies into evening classes which means that I will graduate later.

At that time, graduating was a big deal and we rushed to register for more than 5 classes per sememster. You see, this was when we didn’t know that life has NOTHING to do with when you graduate, it’s the experience that makes a difference. I didn’t know what to do so I decided to discus it with my parents. I loved the work environment there but I got offered another job by my father. He offered to let me basically run his charity organization in my free time since I am willing to work. I had to decide and I was confused up to the day I was supposed to start work. I really didn’t know what to do, I had two options and couldn’t decide.

So that morning, I got into my car and drove. I reached an intersection, literally, and stopped at the red light. I had to make a decision. If I turn right, I would accept the job as an IT assistant and could later on become a broker and work with stocks and bonds. If I turn left, I would have to enter a new world of children with mental retardation, autism, Down’s syndrome, and cerebral palsy.

I stopped and thought.  This decision will shape me into the person I want to be.

Who do I want to be?

A year later, I was working hard in my office as a little boy popped his head in and gave me a big smile. Sayed Yousif, come here. I said. He walks in coyly and sits on one of the chairs like he does everyday during break time.  Best decision EVER.

Before It’s Too Late

beach heart

 

Find the person you love

the one you don’t see

the one who is always

been your given fate.

Tell him you love him

give it all that you’ve got

hold on to him close

before it’s too late.

 

Don’t think of the words

don’t mind broken hearts

the issue is your happiness,

your life, and your fate.

Tell him you love him

give it all that you’ve got

hold onto him close

before it’s too late.

 

Your mind will play tricks

It’s so hard to see

the path is so dark

take a leap of faith.

Tell him you love him

give it all that you’ve got

hold onto him close

before it’s too late.

The Importance of a List

to do

There are two types of people: people who like using lists, and people who think lists are useless.  I am a person who loves lists.  I love everything about lists: making lists, checking things off my list, and telling people that if you want to plan your life better you need a list.  I 100% believe that lists could save you 80% of your time when done and utilized correctly.

Now, I’m not a list guru, (I give that title to my sister who, without lists, could have lost her mind by now), but I can still give you some pointers on how I use this wonderful tool.

Before I do so, let me give you one exercise you can do which would shine the light on your time management skills.

I once attended a time planning training where the instructor told us that to be able to see where your time is wasted you need to make a schedule of what you are doing for a week.  So basically, you would write down 7:00 – 7:15 a.m. wake up, 7:15 – 8:00 a.m. shower, dress, and get ready, 8:00 – 8:15 a.m. have breakfast and check the news (I wish!!), 8:15 -8:50 a.m. commute to work, and so on.  Of course, we shouldn’t forget to include all those little things that waste our times such as (play candy crush) and (chat on Whatsapp) or (stalk ex-boyfriend on Facebook heeheheh).  So I thought to myself, what an amazing idea! I’ll just do that and eliminate all my wasted time.  After a few days, I started seeing a pattern in my schedule: I waste a lot of time using the phone and not enough time doing anything I love and find significant.  I chose to change my routine and make conscious decision.  So now, when I catch myself doing something wasteful I tell myself make conscious decisions.  I also tell myself Are you really hungry, or are you just bored? But I’ll get to that story another time.

Anyhow, this is the first step:

1- Start by identifying your biggest time wasters and make a conscious decision about changing them.  This would give you a good chunk of time for work.  Schedule in your coffee and lunch breaks and give yourself time to breathe.  When you have that done, look at the number of hours you can work in awe.  This is your canvas.

2- Take a piece of paper (yes I am old fashioned) and write TO DO as a title.  Underline it twice to show yourself that this is a very important document.  Now leave a few lines (basically press enter twice) and write number one.  You can put a dash or a dot, your choice.  Great, you’ve got it so far.

3- Write down the things you need to do everyday at work.  So if  you have to print a specific report, check the cash invoices, file yesterday’s papers, or make specific calls, write those down.  This is your first category: your daily tasks.   These will not change, they are a crucial part of your job description.

4-Next, write down the things you need to do today.  I prefer to have a To Do list done in advance but if you feel like you are living in chaos at work, start with a list.  Write the things that need to be done.  A weekly to do list gives you plenty of time to shuffle the tasks around.

5- At the end of each task, draw a small box that you can check.  Checking the box feels SO good, trust me.  Keep the box.

6- Start working according to your list.  Start with your daily tasks and go on.  How you choose which task to start is your decision.  Some people say you shouldn’t check your email before noon (or whatever golden hour they seem to have researched) but come on!  You can check your email without replying, right?  It’s not like you have the tendency to lose yourself in emails.

7- Review your list.  You can make a daily list or you can have a general list (for people like me who don’t seem to get much done everyday).  For people with projects that take longer, instead of writing (Finalize the report) you can instead write (work on report due on…..) and check the box when you work on it.  The way I review my list is rewrite the things I didn’t complete and totally scratch off things that are done.  This feels better than the little tick.

 

So why are lists important?  Well, lists display what you need to do that day.  They keep you focused on your goal when you feel like life is chaotic.  With lists, you make sure that you don’t forget to do that thing you keep forgetting.  So you will catch yourself less often wondering (what did my boss ask me to do on Monday?)  Lists also service as a cute little motivational pat on the back.  The little ticks show you that you’ve done something.  During those days when you can’t make yourself work and you feel like you’d rather be home in bed, lists offer you some items that CAN be done with minimum effort.  You can choose your tasks and still feel like you’ve achieved something.  Finally, lists are fun to have especially if you categorize them based on your workload.  If you have your list numbered well and you have a bunch of papers you need to go through, your list can be the (cover) of your file with each page numbered.  So item #1 on your list will be the first set of papers, item #2 the second set, and so forth.  This HELPS with people who have a lot of paperwork.

In the end, lists help save your time.  Make conscious decisions, write up a list, and eat because you’re hungry, not bored.  Oh, I’ll get to that another time.  Till then, happy listings.

 

Tired Mothers

mother

Tired, like all mothers, I choose to stay awake just to have a little time for myself.  Just a few minutes, I say, I’ll be in bed by 10. Yeah right!  I’m never in bed by 10.  Sometimes I listen to the nothingness of the night for a couple of hours, I listen to the quietness around me and take it all in, still trying to wind down after a long and exhausting day.

I realize that I’ve been awake for a little bit too long.  Alright, if I sleep now, I would expect my baby to wake up in half an hour for his bottle.  So the dilemma begins: should I sleep or  should I stay awake?  Still questioning what to do next, my heavy eyelids give in and I fall asleep with the mobile phone in my hand, still open on the last page I was browsing.  Barely a few minutes later, I wake up when I hear the tossing and turning of my little boy.

And the night shift begins.

Like some days, nights can be long.  Many nights were spent sitting in bed with the baby in my arm and my head thrown on one side without any support to my neck.  Do you know the neck strains you used to have in high school when you wouldn’t be able to move for almost a week?  When you’re a mother, you are blessed with the miracle of feeling no pain!  You know why?  Because life must go on and you must be available, up and running at all times.

So half asleep, I look at my boy and smile.  It’s a true blessing to have a child who loves you and accepts you for who you are.  My boy doesn’t know what I did in my life nor does he care.  All that matters to him is that I’m his mother and I love him so much.  After he drinks his bottle, he pushes himself off my arm and onto my bed.  Cheeky boy.  He knows he wants to sleep on our bed so he cuddles against his father who just can’t say no.

Blessed, I smile and lay down.  I look over at my two favorite boys and think that God has truly been generous.  No-one said raising a child was easy; it’s a tough job only mothers can do.  Mothers aren’t well rested, pampered, and manicured women, they are tired, exhausted, and fatigued saints.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you mothers out there.

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