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Roald Dahl: Simple or Complex?

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After watching Charlie and the Chocolate Factory over 70 times in the past 3 months and memorizing it by heart, I have come to question reality as I saw it.  Things are no longer as simple as they once were and, interestingly enough, I have come to believe that chocolate is made by oompa loompas.

Dahl’s amazing creativity is evident in his children books (of which I read just a few) and come to question whether the books were written as a good fiction or do they carry in their pages something of a deeper nature?  Although Dhal isn’t a psychologist, I must respect the fact that his experience does give him validity to be an observer and storyteller.  How so?  Firstly, Dahl portrays five children and their respective parents in the book.  I found out that Dahl had up to 9 different children who were to enter the chocolate factory with Charlie.  By choosing to stick with five, Dahl decided to shine light on the gluttonous Augustus Gloop, the competitive Violet, the spoiled Veruca, and the television addict Mike Teavee.  It could be safe to say that Dahl chose these five characters and personalities because he saw them as the most destructive to children.  It could also be safe to say that Dahl may have encountered people in his childhood (or later life) and got so shocked by their personalities that he believed they should be punished.

One of the issues that Dahl was criticized over was the fact the the antagonists are the “bad” children.  Although the children were portrayed as stereotypes of how-kids-should-not-act, their parents were also portrayed as reasons behind their characters.  So whose fault is it that Augustus keeps getting chocolate whenever he feels like it?  Is Dhal trying to enforce parents into taking responsibility over their children’s negative personality traits or is he placing the blame on Willy Wonka.  Also, who gave Willy Wonka the right to discipline these children (and their parents) by using different sadistic punishments such as being blown up into a blueberry and getting the juice squeezed out or by being pulled in the toffee maker after being shrunk in size?  Yes, the children should have learned their lessons but does Dahl really tell readers (and viewers) how to best act?

Is Roald Dahl Charlie or Willie Wonka?

The five golden tickets that were sent out to people around the world were sent to find an heir for Willy Wonka’s factory.  In the story, the children didn’t know what the prize was but were happy just to enter the factory.  What about you?  Where would your golden ticket take you and what would be the grand prize?  Many people work hard to go on vacations but how can that vacation be turned into a prize (and thus a lifestyle?)  The golden ticket takes you to two places: one is temporary and is a test and the other is the grand prize.  We should strive to make sure that we do not get sidetracked by the “chocolate” along the way and concentrate on getting the real deal.

But did Charlie even get sidetracked or did he live his experience vicariously through the other four and was just lucky enough to be the last man standing?  So is that the way Dahl thinks we should win life?

Is Willy Wonka’s factory a representation of life?

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Johnny Depp’s sarcastic comments gives it a little more humor for adults while children watch the plot unknowingly, nodding at Johnny Depp explaining that “everything in this room is eatable, even I’m eatable! But that is called “cannibalism,” my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies.”  Is this a Dahl  comment or Tim Burton’s twist on things?  So, just as the movie has a different perceptive level suitable for adults, Dahl may have entrusted his book to hold some philosophy over children personalities, dealing with the antagonist within us, and the best way to fix bad children is through punishment.

What I prefer to question is where my golden ticket would take me and would I be the end winner of the grand prize.

Simple?  No, Roald Dhal was more complex than a few children’s books and would surely get his philosophies and life wisdom and ideas into children’s books.

 

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Is there another level to Roald Dahl’s characters in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory whereby he introduces us to the antagonists around and within oneself or is it a simple fiction fantasy?

Are there only five basic types of parenting based on Dahl’s philosophy or is it more than that?

Is Dhal trying to make a point in regards to the sadistic punishments the four children undergo and should they be considered reasonable?

If you were given the opportunity to win a golden ticket, where would it take you and would you be as good as Charlie to win the grand prize?

Working on my next post. Can you guess what it’s about?

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كوب من القهوة


احتاج لشرب كوب من القهوة

لا أستطيع ان افكر

ان اجمع افكاري المبعثرة

كأوراقي

كنظارتي الواقعة على الأرض

كشنطتي الملقاة على كرسي

بلا مبالاة

ففي رأسي الف فكرة وفكرة

والتساؤلات تهاجمني من كل مكان

فاحتاج ان أتمهل

ان اشرب كوب من القهوة

فأحيانا تكون القهوة

هي الحل

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The Lie That is Brown Sugar

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Lately, people are becoming more nutritionally conscious and care about what goes into their bodies.  This isn’t to say that we never cared before, it’s just that nowadays the overall direction of people is towards healthy living and green diets, therefore our trending hashtag is #healthyliving.

Restaurants (specifically fast food) are requested  and maybe even obliged to supply their customers with the calories and nutritional information each item on their menu contains.  Some also altered their menus to provide health conscious customers with a variety of items to choose from such as lean meat brown pasta with tomato sauce instead of pepperoni pizza.  Ingredients like quinoa, kale, and edamame are suddenly popping up in menus and markets for people to buy.

Also interestingly, some people are religiously defending the idea that human beings are not supposed to consume cow’s milk after the age of three.  It is said that cow’s milk is custom designed for calves and humans could actually lose their calcium by drinking cow’s milk.  Instead, we humans can substitute it with almond or soy milk because almond and soy milk are not custom designed for almond and soy babies.

The other day I asked my husband to get some brown sugar cubes because we were running out.  He got a pack of white sugar and a pack of brown sugar cubes stating that there is no difference in the nutrition facts on the packs and that I should compare them.  I chose to consider his comment later on because if what he said was true it would mean that one of the pillars of my beliefs would be susceptible to questioning and there’s never a good time for that.  So instead, I took his word for it and a few days later I googled “what is the difference between brown and white sugar.”  Surprisingly, google laughed out loud and answered nothing much.

What I reached in my research is the following:

1- White sugar is more processed than brown sugar

2- Brown sugar contains molasses and thus tastes a bit different

3- Brown sugar has bigger crystals

4- Brown sugar looks more organic

5- Nutritional value of brown sugar is slightly more than white but not significant enough for it to be measured

So what now?  Should I start questioning the cow’s milk?  Should I start questioning brown vs white rice, brown vs white bread, and brown vs. white eggs?  Should there even be a difference if we are vouching for equality?

So the lie that is brown sugar has finally been revealed.  The next time you see someone choose brown sugar instead of white to sweeten their drink, chuckle a little inside and let them be.  Their perceptions could make a difference as per the placebo effect (the sugar pill experiment where a group of people were given real medicine and another group were given sugar pills and had similar results in their treatment.)  It is the importance of beliefs and obviously nutritional values are on top of people’s lists these days.  It’s a great way of opening new business opportunities, I tell you.

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I wonder… if pilots have performance appraisals would it include “reduce the amount of turbulence by 70%” and “make sure to speak eloquently in the microphone so passengers can understand?”

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Financial Independence

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The best things in life are free, but when you are in a situation where you have no source of income, you wouldn’t be able to eat the beautiful flowers covering the garden nor could you trade in beautiful sunny days for rent.  You are stuck with the decisions you made throughout your career and a bunch of overdue bills.  Now what can you do?

Well, one important fact to constantly keep in your mind is that there are many things that happen in the outside world which affect people.  Recall  the PESTLE analysis which shines light on different areas that can affect businesses. It puts a lot of things in perspective when you consider a slight technological advancement could cost you your job, maybe we should consider bribing scientists to get inside information and be prepared to jump ship beforehand.

Remember the economic crisis in 2008 and the number of people who were unemployed overnight?  Bankers who were able to afford huge houses and annual trips with their families were suddenly out of jobs.  This is my question to you: are you financially stable enough to survive unemployment tomorrow?  How long can you survive without income?

How can you make sure that your contract is not ended abruptly while you sip your coffee one morning?  You can’t because sometimes terminations occur for a variety of reasons.  So what’s the plan?

Be prepared at all times.

1- Enter the job market early.  I am not against college education, on the contrary I vouch for education but if you were given the opportunity to work, work.  At 19 years old, you do not have a lot of responsibilities and if you can study and work at the same time you should do it.  This gives you an edge over many of your classmates who are studying as you are getting real life experience.  This experience helps in your studies also since you will be able to bring real examples from work back to your classroom.  Also, any source of income gives you financial independence at an earlier time (and you will be able to retire sooner if you wish)

2- Know your consumption and expenses well:  you cannot save money without knowing where it all goes.  For one month keep track of all your expenses.  Are you using up 10% of your income on coffee?  Are you spending 30% on fine dining?  Where does the money go?  You can have a simple excel sheet or a free mobile app that keeps track of your expenses.  Alternatively, keep all your bills in one place and review them at the end of the month.  When you realize that you are spending money on things that don’t matter, you will finally shine a bit of light in your sleeping consciousness.

3- Plan a budget:  Think of where you want to spend your income and start with paying yourself now.  Keep a specific amount monthly as savings for your future.  You could open a different savings bank account and immediately pay yourself as soon as you receive your salary.  This retirement/emergency fund would be very useful in cases of sudden unemployment.

4-  Do not get into debt- by debt I mean credit cards and personal loans.  If you can’t afford it on your income why stress your budget and stretch it to its limit?  If you have a credit card, pay it off on time and try to get rid of it.  The feeling of freedom.

5- Do not buy what you can’t afford- no you don’t need that Fendi bag

6- Think of spending as an investment- what if I need to sell this later on, would I be able to regain some or most of its value

7- Keep your change- you’d be surprised how much money you can save by saving your change everyday.  Keep a small basket next to the door of your home and keep all change inside.  Encourage your significant other to do the same.

8- Shop smarter- look for bargains, go out of your way to get to the better priced shop, and when always keep a shopping list that would help keep you in check with your actual needs.

10- Eat from home- the margins restaurants have on food is immense.  A simple sandwich from home can save you a lot of money especially if you buy your lunch everyday.  Eat out less: treating yourself to a dining experience is great if you have the money but why waste it?

11- Prioritize your values and spend accordingly

12- Unless it’s urgent, sleep on it.  Give yourself one night to think of it and maybe, just maybe, you might change your mind.  You could also realize that the feeling of needing the item will definitely diminish strongly and you will be able to see the actual importance (or lack of) of the item.  Yes, a cute black dress is amazing at this price but do you really need it when you don’t go out?

14- Look for offers and coupons. It’s not a trick nor a conspiracy to buy more, its just a promotion technique that you can benefit from if you think of it wisely.  Why is the promotion put and what can you benefit from it?

15- Learn to share and split the cost. Share your ride to work, your vacation trip, or anything.  This is not you being stingy, this is you being smart.

16- Pass on the knowledge- teach your kids early how to be smarter financially.

Take control of your income and expenses, do not let your emotions drive you into oblivion and bankruptcy.  Think before you take your wallet out and don’t get pulled in by fashionistas who are eager to cheer you on.  Remember, they are just doing their job and yours is to take care of your future.

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The Dark Side of Leadership

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There are many studies today that show the difference between a “boss” and a “leader.”  What we see portrayed is the fact that being a boss is a bad thing whereas being a leader is a good thing.  A leader is always portrayed as someone who is willing to take part in the tasks, shows his followers how to do things (versus just ordering them into doing them), and the cheerleader for the team.  What is not portrayed much is the dark side of leadership.

People are not machines.  They contain many emotions, biases, and predispositions.  So when a person is given the role of a leader, it does not make them immediately correct in everything they say and do.  The problem is, many leaders think that with their new roles and duties, they are suddenly invincible.  So how can we make sure not to get sucked into being the next Hitler?  How can we make sure that we have followers who are continuously questioning our thinking and making us grow instead of stay in one place?  The human’s natural thirst for power and drunkenness can make it a sweet sweet place to be but, if you are in a position where you are not questioned, then only you can question yourself.

The Johari Window as seen below illustrates our relationships with others and ourselves.  A quick explanation of the 4 windows:

 

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1-  Arena:  Things that are known to you and known to others.  These are the obvious traits that people see and that you identify as part of yourself

2- Facade: Things that are known to you but not known to others; they are covered by a mask (or a facade) of other traits

3- Blind spot:  Things that people see but you don’t see in yourself.  Now, many people are probably thinking of their bosses and laughing now.  Don’t forget that this is about you, not your bosses.

4-  Unknown:  Traits that neither you nor others know.  This may seem evident later on and could be a good surprise.

The whole purpose of knowing that there is a blind spot is to accept that you can get to know yourself better.  360 degree performance evaluations could help shine light on this blind spot, making it smaller.  In the end, don’t we want to get to know ourselves better?

The first step towards change is the willingness to change.  Do we really accept and want to take part in getting to know ourselves or are we too scared to see what is hidden?  Joseph Conrad’s final judgment in The Heart of Darkness was “the horror, the horror”. Are we too scared to face the horror that lives within?

Now, this is a quick list of some difficult leaders just to make sure if you are of one type or are dealing with one:

1- The micro-manager:  This is pretty straight forward.  The micro manager makes sure to oversee every single little minute detail of every single little minute project.  Why?  Because they are probably egotistical perfectionists who think no-one can do the job the way they want it to be done.  Now, imagine if your mother micro managed you while you were getting your homework done.  Would you have learned anything?  No.  What better way to teach people than to allow them to experience and make mistakes.  To all micro managers out there:  you are giving yourself a hard time and over complicating your job.  Learn to delegate and overlook variances in the outcome your subordinates submit.  Try to be a “teacher” and teach.

A few years ago, I had a specific method of filing, hole punching, and stapling papers.  In my micro-managerial mind, it didn’t take a scientist to know that all papers had to gently folded in the middle to ensure that the hole punch is correct.  The staple had to be on the top left side almost 1/4 of an inch from the top.  I never talked about it to my assistant and one beautiful morning, I was presented with a bunch of papers with the staple in the top middle.  WHY?  How am I supposed to read the document?  Can you imagine?  If you can’t please go ahead and staple some papers and give me your feedback.  What I learned from this is (no, I will not overlook this very important matter) during the interviews I ask the candidate to demonstrate how to punch and staple some papers together.  Win-win situation!

2- The procrastinator:  A manager who will do things eventually.  This, my dear friends, could be a blessing in disguise.  How so?  You don’t need to do anything and when your manager asks, throw the ball in their court and wait for a decision that will never be made.  I’m not a procrastinator so I don’t have any anecdote to serve as an example.  In my opinion, get things done in advance, try to stick to a schedule, and meet with your manager regularly to get your next task assigned.  Make sure that you are doing your job because, who knows, maybe you will end up being promoted into your manager’s job!

3- The idiot:  Honestly this could just be your point of view.  Some managers get promoted for a variety of reasons, most could be office politics.  You could be working for someone who seemingly doesn’t know what’s going on but this can also be played to your advantage.  Befriend your manager and maybe, just maybe, you could find out what qualities he has.  Don’t look too hard, sometimes there’s nothing inside. Hello!

4- The dictator: The basic dictator who likes to do things his own way.  Hopefully you are not being asked to do something wrong or illegal but when someone really cares about the job, that’s when it hurts.  What’s worse is when the dictator is also an idiot.  Ah, this, my friend, is an indicator to look for another job because in the end, people don’t leave companies, they leave managers.

5- The abuser: the abuser needs to know that it’s not alright to abuse.  Chandler’s boss in the clip below is using his power as a manager to praise his employees in a not so polite way.  Yes, it seems funny but this is a manager who has crossed over to the dark side of leadership.  You  are given the power but you are not supposed to abuse it.

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Friends- Chandler and his boss

Now, normal people with emotions and feelings and with limited years of experience could be put in a situation where their temper could spiral out of control.  For example, a very nice manager I know was in a disciplinary meeting with a few employees trying to figure out something about someone (she doesn’t even remember what the meeting was about).  She was getting opposing facts, people pointing fingers at one another, and sheer chaos.  After listening patiently for ten minutes (patience isn’t one of her strengths) she decided to pass out warning letters to everyone just to flex her muscles.  Now she’s not a very big person and her employees were older men and women so they probably saw her as an “idiot”.  She quickly and angrily jotted down the points on a piece of paper and asked them to sign them.  The first two employees signed without saying anything and the third just refused.  He just said no and started to walk away.  We have a saying in Arabic that means if you can’t reach something with your hand, reach for it with your leg.  No hand nor foot would have reached the employee quick enough, and to our surprise, a quick throw of the pencil hit him on his leg.  No he wasn’t hurt but seriously, it is NOT ALRIGHT TO THROW PENCILS AT YOUR EMPLOYEES!

Being leaders come with great responsibility.  Try to get to know yourself better, be open to criticism, obtain an open door policy, get to know your own strengths and weaknesses, try to grow your knowledge.  Being a leader is not a ticket to make people run your errands nor is it a way to start your own cult for the sake of your ego.  Do not be sucked into the dark side of leadership.

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Live a little-Put Your Phone Away

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Mobile phones are becoming a continuation of our bodies.  They are forever glued to our hands and our eyes are always diverted towards the screen.  Is it the fact that these smart gadgets are opening new realms and worlds through the net or are we just choosing to live our lives away from everyone?  What amazing functionality have these mobile phones given us that they are taking over our thinking and daily relationships?

Let’s take the example of the calculator in the smart phone.  Now for people who have I-phones you can imagine how easy it it to access the calculator and find out the answer you’re looking for, whether it’s 40 x 2 or 76213 x 761.  It wouldn’t matter what the mathematical problem is, you are used to using the calculator on your phone that you have become dependent on it.  I’m not sure whether or not school students today are required to actually use their brains to multiply, divide, add, and subtract or are they allowed to use their smart phones to help assist with these problems that, honestly, can be done in a shorter time period.  Whether or not the development of their brains would be affected, I cannot say, I hope someone would actually conduct a study and we can find out 20 years from now how math actually helps/does not help us at all.

We used to have our friends’ phone numbers memorized, how many numbers do you know by heart?  It’s so much easier to get your gadget (go-go-gadget) and press the name without even acknowledging that there’s a number stored or even realizing that if you’re put in a situation with a public phone you would have no idea what number to call (given that your phone’s battery is dead).

I am not against smart phones, I understand that they are helpful devices that can make our lives easier.  An example of a great application is the maps that helps you get your location and find out how to get somewhere.  Here conspiracy theorists will be glad to inform me of the dangers of smart phones and location services, having Big Brother watch, listen, and know where we are all the time.  I doubt Big Brother cares where I buy my groceries, honestly, or when I talk about my day at work.  Big Brother can probably listen to more important and interesting conversations that mine.  🙂

Relationships nowadays are being affected by the constant use of smart phones.  When you’re with your mom, dad, husband/wife, sister, brother, and child, please have the decency to put the phone away.  You do not need to see the latest trends nor do you need to hear the latest joke sent on your Whatsapp.  You do not need to read the latest news about your favorite star nor do you need to look through the Instagram pictures of food, how to lose weight, latest fashion trends, or the bombardment of advertisements that just waste time.  And no, you do not need to hear every single snap from our fellow bloggers; their lives only seems interesting because this is the part of their lives that they choose to show you.

So instead of watching other people’s lives, try living yours.  Stop comparing your days to that of others, you don’t need to eat out everyday nor do you need to take pictures of your dinner if it’s just fish and chips.  You do not need to hang on every single word coming from strangers because it’s not important.  Think: what is important?  Will I DIE if I miss out on today’s Snapchat?  Is it your choice to watch someone’s day instead of living yours?  What kind of relationship will we have with our friends and family if we are too busy to listen?  How often have you put the phone down, kept it on silent, or stashed it away for a couple of hours just to spend time with others?

What matters most?

Who matters most?

Use your senses.  Use your eyes to capture memories, you have enough pictures already.  Live in the moment and cherish it in your heart.  Be there for your child when he/she speaks to you; give them your undivided attention because they’re worth it.  What use would pictures be when you’ve spent the last few years of your life using the smart phone instead of talking to your sick parent?  What use would it be if you weren’t really there to hold their hands and look into their eyes?  What use would it be if you aren’t saving and hanging onto every word they say?  What use would it be if your husband/wife feels neglected because you choose to play your candy crush game before going to bed every night instead of talking about your fears and dreams while you hold each other?

Use your senses.  Use your brains, accept your feelings, live your life and enjoy it.

What matters most?  Who matters most?

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Losing weight is a choice: stop ordering caramel Frappuccino

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This post is not targeted towards people who have a medical issue with weight, it is targeting people who have the ability to lose weight but are simply not doing so.  I am in no way a nutritionist nor do I claim to have any medical background where I am getting my information.  I am merely pointing out some things that I have seen and dealt with over the years.  Please do not expect me to be a size 0 model either.  “And don’t forget… I’m also just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her”- Notting Hill.

When it comes to weight, we all have our ups and downs.  It all starts when we are first introduced to the weighing scale.  “Hello, I am here to make your life miserable.”  We start counting calories, buying magazines that have different diets suitable for the growing teenage girl (or boy), sometimes go to drastic measures of living on tic-tac’s for a while and all for what?  To stop a bulging belly which, in fact, is just baby fat.

It really doesn’t matter what body shape you are blessed with, all that matters is that you are healthy and capable of exercising.  You see, this is where the magic starts.  Once an exercise routine is put in place at a young age, it usually sticks for life.

Have you ever wondered why kids put on weight once they get to college?  It’s not just the junk they are so happily gulping down, it is the fact that PE classes no longer exist.  Waking up at 5 a.m. no longer exists and walking from class to class no longer exist.  We turn lazy and love the fact that we can sleep late at night and no one would care to wake us up to go to school because our parents, of course, don’t know our schedules and expect that we are adults.

You see those golden years filled with pizza?  This is when it all matters.  This is when you should pay attention to your weight because it all goes downhill from here.  I’m glad college athletes get to work out and exercise because many other nerds, I mean people, can’t seem to find the time, regardless of the reason.

Then guess what comes after college… life.

Work:  a place where you sitting at a sedentary position for eight hours.  It doesn’t stop here, the cycle continues.  For women who get married, they can’t get into their wedding dress after a year of marriage and why is that?   Because we choose to be lazy.  Some stop making an effort and others are blessed with pregnancy and child birth.  Of course with kids the excuse of no time comes to place, and the years go by and the kilos go on.

A friend of mine decided to lose weight a few months ago.  She was trying her best, talking to me about how important it is to lose weight and what it would mean to her.  I thought to myself that she must be working hard and her efforts are paying off, right?

Wrong.  She always had a reason not to start.  There was always an excuse, a time constraint, a something… and a caramel frappuccino.  A daily double caramel frappuccino including the whipped cream, the caramel in the cup and over the top, the full fat milk, and the smile from the barista.  You see, when that nice looking barista in Starbucks asks if you want to add a slice of chocolate-loving cake run: run far far away!  Do you think she can’t say (small, medium, and large) when it comes to drink sizes?  Why do you think she has to over complicate things by calling them tall, grande, and I don’t ever remember the 3rd size.  It’s all in the training to make you (and me) buy the bigger size and gain weight.  She’s in on the conspiracy to make us fat.

Didn’t you ever wonder why healthy restaurants never asked if you wanted to up-size your salad?  Didn’t you ever wonder why they never tried to sell you an apple with your fresh orange juice?  They want us all to get fat.

So what’s the plan?  These are a few steps that could actually work:

1- DECIDE: Make the decision to lose weight TODAY.  Decide and keep in your mind that you will no longer accept any excuse.

2- THROW AWAY THE JUNK: Give away all junk food you have around your house and DO NOT BUY MORE JUNK.  If you don’t have a bag of crisps in the cupboard you will not eat it.  Instead, you can substitute with healthy snacks such as dried fruits and popcorn which is actually good for your health and heart (thumbs up).

3- Exercise: There is no running away from this point.  You cannot lose weight without burning it.  Find something you like to do and do it.  Find an exercise partner if you want or get some exercises done anywhere around the house.  You don’t need to join the gym and you don’t need the top notch equipment.  Surprise your body in the middle of the day and squat, for example.  Use the stairs, park your car further than usual, dance with your children.  In general, move your body and try to burn as many calories as you can.

4- Before you eat anything, THINK:  Ask yourself, “am I hungry or am I just bored?”  Do you know that many people eat because they are bored!  Also, when you are face to face with your favorite dessert, be strong and say, ‘I am stronger than you.’

5- EAT HEALTHY: eat healthy foods.  Add fruits and vegetables to your diet, have brown bread and rice instead of white, do not eat fried food, stay away from junk food.

6- LOOK INSIDE FOR MOTIVATION:  You will not find someone who is cheering you on more than yourself.  Don’t expect people to leave their life to cheer you on.  This is on you and for you.  Don’t look for quick fixes, there are none.  Make sure that you will benefit first and foremost.  Reward yourself.

In conclusion, if you want to lose weight, make sure that you understand that it’s hard work.  It takes commitment and time.  Don’t expect it to be an easy pill that you can take and have the weight shed off you over night (wouldn’t that be great, though).  It takes persistence.  It’s not easy, we are not in an age where our food gets burnt easily so bear with your body.  You are working with your body to achieve a better you.  Partner up with yourself, have small goals you want to achieve and reward  yourself.

Stop eating junk and you will feel better.  Stop adding salt and sugar recklessly to your meals and please, please, please, stop ordering caramel frappuccino.

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